White Christmas

Nine hours is better than 13 hours. At least when it comes to being in the car. So in that respect, the ride home from our NY trip was way better than our trip up. But Christmas with family is 13 times better than Christmas without. Thus, the trip was worth it.

Since our trips, especially as a family, are fewer we decided to make it a long week in NY for the holiday. We had plenty of time to just . . . be. There was little running around from house to house. I had enough of that from my younger years. And it's no fun with kids anyway so we stayed put. We even snuck in a night out with Matt, Joey and some old friends and a quick drink in Nyack.

Christmas Eve has always been my favorite night. We used to go out to dinner with Dad and Jo and brothers but there are way too many of us now. And kids . . .  well, you know. So we stay in. We eat. A lot. And we watch The Muppet Family Christmas. It was nice. But I have to say - it's changed. We have the old traditions but new ones are edging in. Those kids. . . . ! Binkers, our 'elf', found his way to NY. He "ka-poofed" there you know. He hid all over the house. We wrote him and Santa notes (and 'Santa' wrote one back! Thanks Uncle Tim!). And in the morning, instead of hanging out and taking our time as we had over the past few years as us kids have gotten older, we are once again back to rising early and waking everyone else up so we can hurry up and open gifts. With Nathan being old enough for the excitement, we have come full circle. Although Tim and Jen weren't there for our usual Christmas Eve festivities, they made sure to be there for the morning ones. And really, that was the fun part; To see the Nathan marvel at all the presents (so many of which were for him) and Benny to have a ball in all that wrapping paper. Although we don't have the same surprises as when we were young (when we came home from dinner the gifts would all magically be there under the tree and this time I actually saw Joanne go up and down the stairs making the "delivery") the small touches were still there. Small gifts sat on the table at dinner and breakfast, Secret Santa between the siblings (in person instead of Skype!) and even the Muppets (Ok, I missed this showing but Benny was sleeping so I had a small opportunity to shower.) I don't know how many Christmas's we will have at my Dads house, with the siblings, in NY. There are so many variables as our families grow and we slowly move apart. Who knows when we will all be together again.

For Christmas Day, after our morning with one side, we went to the Martins. Mom and Ed were there too and it was nice to celebrate with my fake in-laws. They may as well be a real part of our family though as we have known them for so long. Nathan and Lily loved running around some more - they really seemed to enjoy each others company this time around.

Wednesday we went down to Greg and Danielle's in NJ for more family time and pizza. More kid time! It would be nice to have had a little more down time; for me watching or holding Benny is exhausting and never-ending. He has been super whinny lately - due to teething, mommy-separation or both, I don't know. But I got some great shots of those kids playing. It started to snow and we had to cut our time short. Unfortunately we still waited too long. Our ride home was long and dangerous. Two hours instead of 30 minutes  The up side - the boys slept most of the way. Thank goodness!

The other upside - SNOW! It snowed Christmas Eve but that was a mere covering compared to the couple of inches we had that night. Aside from the presents, and playing with Lily, Nathan really loved playing in the snow. Leo, Uncle Joey and Nathan played for over an hour making huge snow people. It rained overnight and ruined what could have been another day of snow play. But it was special to get as much as we did this time around. It's almost enough to make us come back every year - if only snow on Christmas was a guarantee.

The rest of the week we played with our new toys and just hung out at Pops house. We went by the river to play and enjoyed a quick visit with Nanni and Aunt Ruth. Also, we adults had to mentally prepare for the ride home. Leo and I were stressed about it. We heard other reports that Friday traffic was bad and Saturday more snow was supposed to fall. The solution was a 4:20am wakeup. It was not fun but the result was the shorter drive and being home by 3p. A worthy sacrifice.

This weekend we had another mini Christmas (in addition to the one we had just before we left for NY too with Gigi and Grandpa!). Grandpa Truck, Babci, Kerri and kids came over for a while to play, exchange gifts and have dinner. I'm so thankful Nathan has his cousins. He just loves them. And so another mini-Christmas has been wrapped up. Today is a bit of a work day but a light one I think since New Years Eve is also upon us. No parties for us parents this year. We will settle for some good old-fashioned family time on the couch waiting for the ball to drop. I hope I can stay awake that long after such a busy week.

Truly

Things I truly enjoy: 
Christmas cards. The picture ones especially. It's cool when people who don't do pictures send cards too. But man do I love seeing new little faces each year. And people seem to enjoy ours too. Our list gets longer every year so I keep thinking, "maybe this year we will skip it." But you know me. I'll never skip a chance to challenge my creativity (and patience) when it comes to thinking up something new and showing off my boys.
My Nathan singing. Today his school did a little "pageant" of sorts. The different classes had cute little head pieces on and sang. Nathan's class were angels. It was nice to hear all the songs he has been singing over the last few weeks. There really is a song that goes, "We fish you a merry ChristMoose and a hoppy new year." I thought he was making it up.
Christmas Shopping. This one is a double-edged sword. I don't like the pressure and uncertainty and lines of shopping. But I love the idea that I have the chance to find something perfect to make someone smile. I was pretty much done but realized there were just a few more people we had to acknowledge this time of year. And my sweet little Benny is cute enough to make all the store employees oogle over him and make him smile so we can get through it. And it doesn't hurt that there are crazy deals all over the place to make me feel less guilty over a little something for me here and there.
Christmas Cookies. I got together with friends over the weekend and we each made cookies and then did a little exchanging so we all had different types to go home with. I was beginning to feel left out of the all the cookie making going on up in NY. Between Nannie and TJ I was having crazy cookie envy!
Holiday Gatherings. We went to Leo's work one last night and had a great time with a fun group of people. I even beat Leo at bowling. Yes, he was angry at the Jets and that he was having bowling ball malfunctions but still. I will take the win. This week we have a mini Christmas coming up and then smattering of more to come in the week ahead.

Things that truly make me sad: 
Having awful things happen in the world, especially this time of year, especially to children. I think about the kids that were lost last week in CT and I have to stop immediately. It makes me so unbearably sad. I thought about it when I was taking pictures of Nathan and all those kids singing today and I almost lost it. I won't watch the news. I want to know details but the funerals happening are too much. It's just too much and too scary.

So instead I'll just keep the other things in mind. There are so very many things that make me truly happy.

Something Special

I wish you could see Benny right now. Well, right this minute he is sleeping. I mean right now in his development. He is awake and aware in ways that remind us he is no longer a baby but a toddler-to-be in many ways. He knows his name and he is starting to know "no" too. Well, when we say it he doesn't actually stop what he's doing. Actually he looks at us, smiles and goes back to doing it again. What a little devil. He can stand for pretty long periods without falling and takes a step or two if he feels like it. When we want him to show off his skills is when his legs turn to jelly of course or he goes stiff and just falls forward or (real fun) backwards. He giggles a lot, seemingly at nothing. He plays well as long as there's lots to keep him busy (plastic containers, metal bowls, trucks, and whatever miscellany he can find on Nathan's bedroom floor - sometimes even legos. Eeeck!). Benny enjoys bath time, eating (Cheerios, goldfish crackers and pancakes!), and his big brother. He follows Nathan around as fast as his little crawl allows (which is pretty fast) and wants to do all that his brother does. I often see the two of them hanging over the side of the toy box digging through it. I love that they are just about there - where they can enjoy each others' company. It occurred to me today that soon they will be causing trouble together too, but hopefully the conspiracy years will wait a while longer.

Leo and I were talking about how Nathan was such a good dancer from a very young age. He had quite a beat going whenever music was played at this age. Benny doesn't seem to have the same gene. Funny how these little things are different. I can't wait to see how else they differ or turn out the same. But Benny's thing seems to be peek a boo. He appeared to play it with Leo months ago and he continues to enjoy it now. Playing with my mom's scarf, the two of them played for a while the other day. She would put it on his head and he would pull it off his face. Then he would pick it up and try to put it up to her face as if to say "your turn to hide." It's always so amazing to see these connections being made for the first time indicating understanding and personality. I never get tired of these new discoveries.

And Nathan. He is a trip too of course. He spent a night at Gigi and Grandpa's and his report card was perfect as usual. At home he seems to have trouble sitting on chairs. Yes, he literally falls of his chair or bench daily. Thinking about it sounds pretty funny actually. But it's annoying when we just need the kid to sit still and eat his damn meal. I asked if he did this at Gigi's. No, of course not. They baked cookies and cleaned and decorated a tree. With Nathan, I wondered?! His attention span is the size of a postage stamp with me. But in the presence of someone else, perhaps a special someone else, he does as he's told. He keeps up, behaves and has a lot of fun. He entertains too.They said he knew all about how sap comes from trees to make maple syrup. Nathan has all sorts of facts stored up there in that brain. Turns out her learned that from Curious George and he was able to recall it at just the right time. Amazing!

I'm proud of my boys. They drive me batty but they really are something special.

Holiday Randomness

Nathan said to me, "I don't want to go to college." When I asked why he said he has other places to go. Like McDonald's. Oh, well that explains a lot.
~~~
Looking back at this time last year I see I was as frazzled as ever. And here I thought it was worse this year. Nope the same. Ok, maybe a little worse this year. It's hard work every day with two little ones under your feet so add holiday madness and I can barely keep up. In fact I lost it and barked at Nathan for not helping clean up the living room tonight and sent him to his room. Usually I will cajole and ask nicely, over and over. But this time I my patience ran out around lunch time so his answer of "I don't want to" left him in the hallway screaming for mommy.

In short, I am tired. I was lucky to be healthy as the seasons changed but come Turkey Day I came down with mastitis (nursing moms will know - not fun). That cleared up just in time for a quick but furious stomach bug. Then I thought I would top it off with an annoying dry cough. I'm actually amazed the cough is only catching up to me now - the whole house has been coughing for at least six weeks. I'm sure if my defenses weren't down from the first calamity, the rest wouldn't have happened. Blah.

Anyway, all the winter blahness hasn't slowed me down too much. I did a photo shoot with a good friend over the weekend. Friends of ours are looking to adopt and need to raise funds so my friend was kind enough to think up this plan. We shot holiday portraits and donated half the moolah to the cause. It was a (long) fun day. Lots of experience to be had taking pictures of families all day. The most interesting take away: the bribes. Ice cream, slushies, candy apples . . . anything to make the kid smile. I can relate to this deep need to just get one stinkin' shot for the holiday cards. I didn't get what I was looking for myself in terms of pictures. But luckily I snap pics often and have a good collection to pull from. But getting that one shot is so rewarding . . .

And now on to other things. Parties and the like. Personally, I'm looking forward to when it's all done (for the most part). Being in NY, with the brothers, trading Secret Santa gifts, watching the Muppet Family Christmas. That is my happy place. I can't wait to be there.

Thankful and Busy

October was quite the flurry of activity and ended with a bang as it does every October - with Halloween! Nathan was excited about his astronaut costume and put it on every time a new visitor would enter the house. But come time for Nathan to wear his most awesome costume for school to show off to all his friends he refused to put it on. We almost had a knock down drag out in the parking lot when I finally had to let it go. But I was so mad. Of all days! He did however put on for Halloween without a fight. Logan and friend Christian (and families) came out for the festivities. It was chilly but not rainy and miserable like last year.

We had a super fun Couples Night Out with our MOPS friends, book club and a visit with Aunt Jane and Uncle Jimmy. A little bit of wonderful every week basically.

I can't say the same for much of the East Coast with all this crazy weather. As Sandy blew through we didn't get much of anything. When snow dumped on them the week after, we had cold air but that's about it. And because we have been so very fortunate in being healthy and safe, I can't complain about the heat being broken for a few days here. There were two chilly overnights but it was fixed rather quickly. If you want to be humble and get over stuff quickly, think about what others don't have. Even if we missed heat for a week, or a month, it's not as bad as others who have no power, or nothing at all. Reason #5896 that we are so glad to be here in NC!

Besides being a Royal Booger at school, Nathan is doing well and seems to be growing inches and inches over night. He is very much in 4T's now (and I find the 3T's hiding in the drawer and then on his body - ridiculous on his tall, skinny body!). He comes up with the most entertaining of observations and thoughts and makes us laugh every day. He's so smart and intuitive. It's such a pleasure to see his mind work.

And our Benny. He crawls like it's his job. He plays well by himself most times and loves to be surrounded by tupperware, blocks, cars, or any assortment of not-too-small stuff for him to explore. He will be walking soon. I just know it. He will say "boo" back to us when we say it him and he even has some hair growing in. Though he's so cute without out I don't even care. I just love him the way he is.

The time change threw us all off a bit as usual. But even though Benny is waking earlier, the boys usually go to bed no problem these days. I like that change!

A busy couple months is upon us and it's all exciting and fun stuff. Turkey Day will be here at our house and then we will make the trek to NY for Christmas. I love this time of year!

The Real NYC

The choice was either for Pop to come down here for a visit or for us to make the trek to NY. The better choice is always to see more people at a time but having to travel solo with two little ones wasn't really on my agenda. A JetBlue sale and a little motivation from a friend, not to mention seeing family, pushed me to take the plunge. I have done a lot of things even in the past nine months that I didn't think I could do. And I did them anyway. Who am I to say no because I'm fearful, unsure or just not in the mood? That's not me. That's why I took a 3 1/2 year old and 8 month old on a plane by myself. Eeek!

We talked for weeks about this trip to NY. Nathan is getting good at naming things and places and he really wanted to see NYC. I introduced the idea of seeing a real live space shuttle and he was over the moon with excitement. I was too. But we had to get through the weeks before the trip.

Our lives are BUSY! It all happened at once - Great Wolf Lodge, birthdays, making dinner for a friend with a new baby, Pumpkin Patch Trip with school, hair appointment, Girls Night Out, Vendor Night with Uppercase Living AND hosting a baby shower the Saturday morning we were leaving for NY. Looking back at that week I don't know how we did it all. No wonder I'm still exhausted. When it rains it pours. It's true. But I knew the NY trip was the pay off. Well, not the travel part but being there anyway.

Leo came into the airport with us. We checked the bag, got our tickets and said our goodbyes. I was worried earlier in the day because the flight was already delayed in the early afternoon. The time went back and forth and eventually went back to its original time only to be delayed last minute due to a clogged toilet. Awesome. Finally we board. I picked seats all the way in the back to be away from people, close to a bathroom and for privacy for nursing. In theory this is genius. If only the clogged toilet wasn't the one at the back of the plane. I prayed there would be no need for a bathroom trip anyway. With a baby strapped to me and the other little boy just anxious to be there already, it was a lot to juggle. We settle into our seats, we FINALLY take off and find something to watch (Thank you DirectTV and JetBlue!) and I hear "I have to go potty." No, please. Anything but that!

I regretfully wake Benny in the process of getting up as we trudge up the aisle in a very shaky plane to find the bathroom. You know how it's tough for one person to use a toilet in an airplane? It's, like, really, really, rough for three. Nathan does his business and thankfully I don't have to do much but hold onto Benny and assist in hand washing and flushing in a cramped and unfamiliar environment. Back to our seats we go.

When we were landing, Nathan kept looking out the window to see the lights. I wished it was daylight so he could take it all in. I wonder if he really would have been able to identify the place just from seeing the familiar buildings. He took my word for it anyway and exclaimed, "It's the real New York City!" The passengers around us were amused by his wonder.

We land and Uncle Timmy finds us. Luggage comes, we find Pop (in his big new truck) and happily we head towards Valley Cottage. If only the story could have ended with a gentle transaction of kids to beds. Not. Though it was getting late, (almost) everyone was up and wanting to see us. Half sleepy boys were not amused. They both clung to me. One cried. The other followed suit. It was over. I rushed them upstairs to get PJ's on and into bed but it was too late. The chaos started and I was lost. Pop, JoJo, Uncle Joey and Tim tried to help. PJ's and diapers were being tossed. I called Leo to help with Nathan's cries of "I want Daddy" only to have the phone thrown and me explaining over the noise that I had to go. "I can't hear you and I don't know what's going on!" (Sorry for waking you Aunt Jen!) Finally, peace was restored when everyone was dressed and the promise of bed was on the horizon. It helped that Nathan was offered toys and Benny a boob. We all slept in one bed and survived the night. I just kept thinking - we're just tired. We just need some rest.

The rest of the time was fine and less dramatic by far. Sunday, people were in and out and we enjoyed all the goodness that NY food has to offer. Big sandwiches, apples pies, and fresh ravioli from Arthur Avenue. Yay carbs!

Monday we rose early to go to NYC. Greg, Danielle and Lily joined us for a visit to the Intrepid - and more importantly - the space shuttle, Enterprise. Nathan, by the way, is very into space. He has planets all over his room, books in his book case and for Halloween he will be an astronaut of course. This was a perfect destination for our little adventurer. After we spent time there (for free - thank you Cousin Kristen for the family pass from the library!) we went back to Pop's truck where the kids jumped around in the bed of the truck for a while and ate lunch. All three of them played with the rope and romped around like it was the best new hang out around. It's like giving a kid a box. So simple yet so fascinating!

Tuesday we hung around to catch up on naps and then went apple picking at Dr. Davies. I hope Pop and JoJo wanted all those apples. We could only take a few home! Still, Nathan is an outdoorsy kid and natural tree-climber so this was another perfect thing to do. We had a nice warm afternoon for it. We followed this up with a visit to the Nanuet Library where my Nannie and Aunt Ruth have some quilts up on display. If you have been to my house you have seen, and maybe even slept under, one of these beauties. They are so talented.

Wednesday was our day of departure but having such a late flight we packed in another day. The boys spent time at Grandpa Trucks while I went out for a while on my own. Benny was asleep in Grandpa's arms and Nathan was happily gobbling down candy - sure signs they had a good time!

The late flight (9:50p!) was one I dreaded all day. Regular afternoon naps didn't happen and we were all on the cranky side. But we made it. When we walked to the gate, we boarded right away. Despite Nathan's constant need to pee (we mastered this three person phone-booth style circus already), the flight wasn't too painful. People are so nice when you have small children. Especially sleeping ones. A woman in front of me asked how I would get them out of the plane. I wasn't sure. If only I could have carried them both without waking them. But the promise of Daddy on the other end was good motivation and keep Nathan focused (after a little freak out getting off the plane - right in the aisle. Fun times.). What can I say? You can't dwell on the bad stuff. We made it home in one piece and it was worth the ride. Every time I do something I wasn't sure I would get through I feel stronger, better prepared and like an all-around Super Mom. But really, life just moves forward. If you roll with the punches and hang on for the ride, you get to where you're going eventually. Having a big smile on when you get there fools everyone into thinking it was a piece of cake!

Benny Boy on the move

Can you tell I'm catching up with my blog posts?

Let me quickly tell you about Benny. That kid is something else. He is about to get up and go. He seemed to be sitting up on his on early. And then  the rest followed at lightening speed. He's not special or gifted - he's just a baby who is learning and moving at the pace they are supposed to. But still - it feels like he is this amazing being doing amazing things. As if I've never seen it before. Because it's so cool! One day he's just a cute little thing waving all his limbs and looking around. The next he is using his new muscles to sit up, lean over, push, roll, and now - crawl! All the explore his world with excitement.

And that kids' smile. . . He just loves his mama. He's just starting to say it now too. But his DaDa. Well, he was saying that a while ago. When we came back from a few days in NY he saw his daddy and his face lit up. He was clawing his way towards Leo as if it had been weeks since they had seen each other.

I don't know why Gerber doesn't call. Everyone just loves his eyes. Seriously, they are gorgeous. We are just so in love with our Benny Boy!

Pajama Days

When summer changed to fall this year a lot of other things changed too. But like the seasons, it just kinda crept up on me - even though I knew the change was coming. Nathan started preschool and for many reasons we were all so excited. And he loves it! He practically pulls us out the door when we are dressed and ready to go. But the start of the school is really, the start of school . . . . forever. When kids start school, each year there are more days and longer days when they are out and about in the world, spending less time at home, in pajamas, hanging out with mommy.

This of course is bittersweet. I'm glad to be able to stop and take note of it now. It will make the long non-school days more enjoyable when I think about how we won't have them forever. Nathan will be in Kindergarten, then grade school. Then Benny will be off in the world before I know it. I will have lots of time for other stuff (yay!) but I know will miss these days too. I just have to remember that while I'm in it. Or it will pass you by and don't even realize what you missed.

I have a lot of friends who I get together with regularly and it seems the change in season and school year hit them too. They have kids the same age but on different schedules than us. Suddenly we went from seeing each other several times a week, whenever we wanted, to just once every few. Our kids don't play together as much. People are busy. Things just changed. But I know they are like me and want to freeze time just a little bit. Despite all the things to do they have all taken a step back and said "we still need our pajama days." It's true. We need a day or two per week where we just hang around the house. Make a fort, even if it's not raining, bake cookies, play games, do whatever together in our pajamas. These are good days that are passing even as I type!

Thanks to my friends for that much needed perspective I make sure to make time for pajama days and enjoy them as much as we can. I hate to tell my kids that after a certain age, they just don't come as often.

Great Wolf

This year has been a busy one on many fronts. New baby, deck project, the start of pre-school, etc. We needed a break as a family and Great Wolf Lodge seemed like a good escape. It's a resort type place with a huge indoor water park, hotel and restaurant included on the premises. Once you are inside the place, it's easy to forget you are right behind a strip mall somewhere in North Carolina. You feel like you are truly away.

The hotel part of the place is well done with its' lodgy feeling. There are stuffed animal everywhere, antler chandeliers and a large fireplace. And actually, it almost doesn't match the water park side of the place. But they make it work. There are tons of little treasures to find in the place, especially if you do the MagiQuest game. To participate, you purchase a "magic wand" that makes picture frames come to life, treasure chests open, and stuffed racoons sing and swing from the ceiling. (This last one we saw in person and it got old quick. Cute but OMG please tell that child to put their wand away so we can eat in peace!) Nathan was too young for the game, but I can see how he would have a ball with it when he and Benny are old enough to follow clues and solve puzzles. Anyhow, there is lots to do there aside from the obvious. There is an arcade (Nathan's favorite), Cub Club (a crafty place for kids) and some other kitschy things all in the name of kids. It's a bit of a tourist trap in that all the extras are very much extras on the wallet.  A cool thing is the bracelets that you have to wear to show you are a guest there. The adults have ones that open your hotel room and add purchase items with the slide of your wrist. Nathan was excited to show this off to school to show where we went and wore it for about two weeks straight. He said he wanted to wear it until we went to Great "Woof" again someday. The food options are expensive and not the best quality. But people go for the slides!

The water park portion is huge, well-maintained and fun! There are tons of different pools and slides to enjoy, a giant bucket that dumps 1,000 tons of water every so often and lots of place to sit and people watch. There are four giant slides that technically Nathan is too small to ride, but Leo and Nathan were able to get on one anyway (I still don't get how they slipped through!) and it happened to be the least tame. In fact it was pretty darn wild. I went on it myself and can't believe how Nathan did it. I think we may have created a dare-devil. He truly loved it and wanted more. You can see a video of it here (not our video but same ride.) Leo and I wished we could have gone off to ride these together but having two little ones, there was certainly no escape for us. We agreed this would be a fun trip in the future with other families.

The Lodge was in Concord, a short distance from Charlotte. Leo had never been and as much fun as the water park is, you can only take so much. So off we went to explore a new city. There is a kids museum in Charlotte that was close to a brew pub that looked good. All parties won. The museum was great. Being a Friday only a few hours before close, we practically had the place to ourselves. With an area for little kids to play and experiment, a small aquarium and a place to touch living creatures this place was a good find. And a steal - we got in with our Life and Science Membership. Score! The restaurant we went to was awesome too. Nice wait staff, excellent food and a small flight of their craft brews to sample. It was worth the trip, even though we had hellish traffic getting back to The Lodge.

Since we went on a Thursday, the place was pretty quiet. By the time we left Saturday morning, the place was packed and crawling with families. We were very happy to not be there with so many people. I stay away from crowd where I can help it. It's a good strategy if you ever go.

Final thoughts: good family vacation. For us the location was perfect and the activities were great too (and will be even better as the boys grow). The price if the place is steep but we were able to make it work. And for a first family vacation, of course, the memories are priceless.

Pee Drama

Everyday I have something new to write about but the day gets away from me and I don't write it down. But not to worry, another new story is right around the corner. Like todays' adventure . . .

Last week Nathan stayed up late to watch a football game with Daddy. At some point, Nathan was put to bed without a diaper. It sounds ridiculous to me that he was still wearing a diaper/ pullups as of last week since he has been potty-trained for almost a year now but holding it in overnight is tough. Anyway, the next morning I discovered the diaperless boy was actually DRY!  I couldn't believe it but was so excited. We had been trying to get into his head and persuade (con/ cojole/ bribe) him with something he really likes - Poptarts! I don't keep them in the house (they are so not good for you but oh so delicious) so this would be a great treat. Although we were proud and thought maybe this would mean he is growing up and learning, I was also very prepared to chalk it up to a fluke. Not so. The next few nights there may have been a drop or two but he didn't wet through like he had in the past. Our little boy was indeed growing up. He even started coming in to us in the night to tell us when he had to go. A nuisance but a small one compared to wet pj's and sheets in the middle of the night.

Last night he came into our room at some point and he was whining in that "Oh, I wet myself" way. I went with him to his room to change. I don't know if he said it or I just assumed, but I just started changing him. He wandered away halfway through into the office and then came back out and shut the door. Assuming he was just being his ADD Nathan self, I waited a moment for him to come back. I then realized he wasn't even wet! I told him to go to the bathroom since he was awake. He tried. He didn't have to go. Okayfine . . . back to bed.

Fast forward to today. I'm in the office looking for something when I see a yellow drip of some sort on the carpet. What the . . . when he went wandering off, Nathan managed to pee in the trash can! It was dark, he's never peed in a trash can before, he was clearly half asleep. How did he manage this?! I called Leo down to tell him the story. We have the picture as proof. I couldn't stop laughing even though I most certainly didn't want to encourage him to do it again. But seriously, it was hilarious. This kid and his pee. . . what's up with that?

Our other little boy is growing up too. Benny now has two little "teefers" popping up and he is assuming the position to crawl any day now. He gets up on his fours, rocks a little . . . then moves himself backwards. Nathan did this too for a short time. But once he got the hang of it he hasn't looked back!

Leo's work has been really busy lately and we don't see him much during the day, and sometimes evening. He's here, but he's just really busy! But it's all good stuff to come. He did, however, find a few minutes to come join our picnic lunch outside today. It has been absolutely wonderful outside and we have been enjoying it with many picnics and walks. (Nice huh? Let's finish the deck so we can eat outside - on the front lawn!) I love the fall and the turn in weather is only one of the many perks.

Other fall perks - pumpkin everything. Decorations. Preschool. Yeah baby. I love school. Just the few hours a couple days a week has afforded me so much more time to myself. It's still lacking some days, but most weeks now I can count on an hour or two just for me. I can workout, catch up on reading, house stuff, shopping with only one (or sometimes no) kid, photography stuff - whatever I want! There still isn't enough time in the day but man - I feel much better about life these days now that I can breathe.

Oh yeah and then there's football. ((Sigh)) . . . . Leo is in heaven and Nathan will join in and root for the appropriate team from time to time too. I'm trying to take it in stride and keep busy otherwise. That's his happy place - what can I do?

Brave

We anticipated Nathan's first day of school for a long time. The funny thing about time is it keeps going. Events happen even when it feels forever away. So the big day came and Nathan said the best thing that morning. "I'm ready Mommy." Yay! He said he was excited and practically dragged us out the door. We were all excited I guess. We were among the first to arrive. We went right to his classroom where the wonderful teachers there took control right away. He has his name written on a little orange shark attached to a magnet on the door frame. The kids grab their own and put it in the basket in the classroom as a sort of attendance. I helped him find his, then Ms. Christy came over and told him to say goodbye. It was then he got that look in his eye. His little mouth turned down and doubt set in. I kissed him first, Daddy bent down with Benny, then Daddy got a quick kiss too. I think. I had turned away by then so he didn't see my own tears. Even Daddy got misty. But even though he started to get sad and nervous, he was so brave. He still said goodbye to us and went with his teacher. Leo and I went to another room for parent orientation, otherwise we would have just dropped him off like today. We waited in the drop off line then unloaded him when the teacher came to the car. Again, he had that little frown start to form but he bravely said "bye Mommy" and off he went.

When he came home from the first day, he was all smiles. Sweaty from running around outside and hungry! He talked about a couple things that he did but it will never be enough detail for me. I'm used to overseeing his every minute and now I'm missing three hours of his life! This is when the flashbacks begin but from a different point of view. I'm in the car with my mom and she's asking "How was your day?" and I say with little enthusiasm, "Fine." The tables are turned and now it's me asking all the annoying questions to squeeze any detail I can out of the kid. It came out a little at a time but the main thing is he likes it. He's happy and even excited to go back again. I expect a little backsliding when he realizes this is a long term thing (like for the next 15 years!) but he will be fine. He's my big brave boy.

Party, Sleeping & School

The Big Birthday Bash was, as usual, a success. We had many people passing in and out of here all afternoon, including a dozen and a half kids or so. The kid quotient keeps rising. Nathan loves this. Leo less so. We welcome them of course but Leo longs for the old days of late night parties and the hangovers that follow them. I personally did not mind getting to bed by 10p and waking at a normal time without a headache. I must be old. In any event, it was a good time. We borrowed Aunt Kerri's bouncy house - always very popular - and broke out the beer pong (aka Beiruit). We received lots of compliments on our new deck too. I was so very happy to show it off and use it. Guess what - it didn't fall down either. Ha. Uncle Matt joined us for the weekend too.

The sleep training continues. It's so much harder than the first time around. There is more going on in our lives, more distractions, etc. You would think the patience and experience would have made the process easier. Not so. It still sucks to hear your baby cry. But this process worked for Nathan and we're sticking to it. I hope that this time next week I will be able to tell you it worked this time too. In the meantime, I'm hiding behind my ipod to drown out the noise.

Last week we went to Nathan's preschool for a little meet and greet. His teachers seemed nice and he liked playing in his classroom and the playground. We're a little worried he will make himself too comfortable and pee out there on the playground or get in trouble for singing "I'm Sexy and I Know it." But we'll cross that bridge when it comes. Because it is coming.

Moving forward it seems like we have turned a page. Between our summer project being (mostly) completed, a big party with all our friends, school and new daytime schedules - it actually feels like September should feel; like when it did when I was a kid. Something changes in the air too and you just start fresh. Only I can't believe that the coming months will include Halloween costumes and holidays plans already!

Sneak

I thought I would sneak in a post while I have a few extra minutes, which is rare! I have no organized thoughts so here's what's happening as I'm thinking . . .

Benny has not been on any regular schedule and the poor thing has been kept up as late as Nathan all this time. His naps were terrible and he was cranky by dinner time so we decided to change things up and put him on a proper timetable. Morning nap - good. Afternoon nap - non existent. Late afternoon nap - a mess (he slept while we ate dinner instead). Early bedtime - success. So far. This will be an interesting transition. Hopefully it will help with keeping Benny asleep all night, napping better during the day and giving mommy a break now and then.

Another transition will be Nathan going to preschool starting next week. Yikes! Before I know it I will be sending him off to college! I know I will have mixed emotions next Tuesday when he starts. Sad and anxious about not having him with me all day but excited and happy for his independence and yet another little break for mommy. (Hmmm, I may be able to breathe soon!)

G'pa Truck has been around for over a week now. He stayed with us for a while to hang. He was a huge help with all that we have going on. Over the weekend he headed down to the Kokers to help with the arrival of Patrick John. Logan now has a little brother! Patrick's first few days were rough but after a little help he is doing just fine and got to go home with Kerri Monday. Leo got to see him but I will have to wait, hopefully this weekend.

Tomorrow is Leo's birthday and this weekend is the big bash. And just in time, our deck is (for the most part) completed. We started re-doing it weeks ago and have been diligently working on it during every spare moment we can find (not many to be found). But it's very near completion and it looks great. Stay tuned for a silly video showing the whole process.

I'm sure there is more but that's all I can extract out of this tired old brain for today. (If I were pressed to say more, all that would come out is stuff about sleep habits for babies since I have been studying sleep books like I was trying the pass the bar.) Hopefully the new nap and school schedules will allow for more down time for me, more blog-reading for you!

Peekaboo

Our littlest man is six months old today. Half a year! He is doing amazing things already. He has perfected sitting up on his own and he sometimes seems to wave in response to us waving to him - but I'm pretty sure he is just flapping his arms because he realizes they are his. But after last nights' game of peekaboo I'm not sure.

Up until now, Benny has been a good sleeper. I realized lately though he has been using mommy as a crutch to get to sleep (nursing = sleep). Having trouble getting past that and getting him to sleep on his own, we let him hang out for a bit on his own in his crib the other night to see what would happen. Well duh. He cried! We let him go a little bit and then I gave in. He wasn't happy and I thought maybe he was teething? I brought him into our room to present the question to Leo and suddenly the boy was all smiles. He arched over and made googly eyes at Leo, happy as can be. Leo responded with smiles and eventually the suggestion to just go to sleep, "like this". He put his head down and closed his eyes, then popped up again to surprise Benny. Benny thought it was hilarious. And then did it back! He put hid head in my chest real quick then popped his head back at Leo, knowing how damn cute he was being. This was the first time we have seen him be deliberate with his actions and seem to truly know what is going on around him. This went on for a while until I said enough is enough, you're tired kid! And he was. But he just wanted to nurse to sleep. We looked at each other, weighed the options and decided to try to cry it out. Oh how I wish we could have skipped this part! It sucked when we did it for Nathan but it worked for him then. So we're going for it now. I lasted about an hour until I couldn't take it anymore. It was midnight, I was tired. I cuddled him, rocked him and put him to sleep (no nursing). The upside was that Nathan slept through it. I was so afraid we would have too awake babies. I don't know that we will be that lucky going forward.

Our daytime hours have been just as hectic. A few weekends ago we had Uncle Matt help us take apart our crappy old deck. The structure remains but we have new decking and railing boards waiting for us in the garage. That's this weekends' project. We thought we would wait and do such a labor intensive project on yet another 95+ degree streak. Yuck. It will be rough in the heat but I'm thinking about the final outcome. It will be gorgeous! I can't say I will have much to do with the construction. (Someone has to be with the kids!) but I have been studying for this every day on-line. What type of connections, railings, boards sizes, notched 4x4's or not. Then there's the stain to educate myself about! I spent an hour and a half at Lowe's yesterday picking the brain of every blue-vested man there to get everything we needed to get started. So I consider that my fair share of investment into this project - handing two squirming kids at the hardware store.

Speaking of those kids - they were really great on that trip out. I grabbed a lego/ star wars book at the entrance of the store and tossed it in the cart with Nathan (along with a little bag of cookies and a backup bag of crackers) and we were good to go. I consider myself seasoned in the realm of keeping the kids busy in stores. It's all about preparation.

I think you have to have a good kid too. And cute. Even the old men at Lowe's were oohing and ahhing over my little boys. But really, Nathan, despite the troubles he does cause, can be so wonderful. Yesterday before his nap, he cleaned his room on his own without me asking. I thought maybe Leo told him or he hit his head or something. He just decided it was a good idea. I love him. And he took his nap with minimal whining. Bedtime is getting a tad better too. Maybe we are getting past that three year old hump. He's showing how ready he will be soon for preschool . . .

I'm sure I have tons more to write but I have to go of course. Benny is still sleeping (good) but it's because he was up for hours last night crying it out (bad) and we may be all sorts of messed up today because of it. Fortunately my husband let me sleep in (awesome) since I was up in the wee hours trying to get Benny back to sleep. Where's my coffee . . .  ?

Independence

Yesterday we celebrated our day of independence (mostly Leo's independence from work but also our Country's Independence of course) by trying something new. Although it's been a steady sweltering 90 degrees + outside everyday, we can't keep the weather from keeping us outside. We decided to go to Frankie's in Brier Creek where they have mini golf, arcade games and tons of other stuff we can't enjoy for a while (batting cages, race cars and other big kid things). We braved through Nathan's first mini golf game and it wasn't half bad considering the circumstances. We all have to be patient (us with him and him with what we are doing) as he tries new things. We try to gently repeat the 'rules' or at least the object of the game. And he has to keep practicing and just not give up. This is easier said than done and the creeping heat didn't help. After a few shrugs and huffs of frustration, we all got through it and he had a good time. The reward was running around the cool arcade from one blast of light and sound to another. We played some games and got some stupid toys with the tickets we won at some of the games. Benny, meanwhile, was quite content in the carrier on me and dozed on and off. We must remember this as a good rainy/ hot day activity as there is much to do inside and whiles away a good chunk of time while getting some energy out. A win win for us all. Last night we went to Brier Creek Country Club where you can sit on the golf course and watch nearby fireworks. They had a bouncy house for the kids, music and lots of space to run. A friend of ours piggybacked the whole event with a birthday party for her kid. Great idea! It was a hot night but in the name of fireworks we toughed it out and all slept really well last night.

Last week we had Grandpa Truck and Babci here before they went down to Kerri's. It was Babci's first time meeting Benny. They were brave enough to stick around despite the evenings when I leave and he cries. At least Leo had company for while I was gone. I went out with my friend again for some night shots in Durham and then my class again Thursday. With Grandpa Truck, we went to the pool one of the days and Nathan did a really good job of swimming a little more on his own. He definitely needs someone else (other than me) to teach him. Saturday we joined them again for Logan's third birthday party. (How are these kids three already?) It was hot as Hades for the party but there were water activities for the kids to stay cool and me and Ben laid low in the AC.

Today it's just me and Benny for a few hours. A friend invited Nathan over for a few hours to play with her kids. So we are free to play and do whatever for a few hours. Currently, Ben is jumping in his jumparoo and studying his surroundings. Damn he is cute!

Father's Day Weekend

Pop came down to visit last weekend. Uncle Matt got a new car and Pop drove down to NC with him. We went downtown to see the science museum. There is a new wing that I wanted to see and Nathan can always be persuaded to go somewhere if we can see dinosaurs. It's always nice these days to have visitors in general but it's extra helpful to have another set of hands to help me out. When it's time to take care of Benny, someone to be with Nathan for 20 minutes or so is extremely helpful. Museum, pool, etc. I need help at this stage and when Leo can't go during the week, I will take any extra bodies I can get.

So when Pop left Tuesday, we didn't do a whole lot the rest of the week. Nathan had a random 24 hour vomit-fest anyway so we tried to lay low until he got rid of that anyway. Fun times. Can't wait for winter when he will be bringing home germs from preschool and passing them onto his little brother.

Time with Pop, btw, was great. We enjoyed a little time out. A little time indoors. A little time even in the rain. We always enjoy Pop-Time and can't wait for him to come back. Even if he makes me do ridiculous things. Like dig through a giant planter at the airport for his knife where he hid it because he had in his pocket but didn't want it confiscated at security. So I went down there and he talked me through the adventure. I was so sure I was being watched and would be stopped for suspicious behavior. But I found the knife and left without confrontation. That was not something I would like to do again. You're welcome Dad.

Friday Leo and I added another first on our list and went on a GEO paddle trip. You get in a canoe and paddle around in the dark, using a GPS to find markers along the shore (or wherever they were put). In this case we had four other couples with us and the goal was to get to each point, get a "word" that went with a "clue" and finish all our riddles first. It didn't really matter who won as there was no real prize other than being in the middle of the lake looking up at the billions of stars that we miss being so close to city lights. It was a gorgeous night and it was nice to get away for a few hours. Our neighbor Liz watched the boys for the first time and it all went pretty well. Benny is not taking his bottle so when he's hungry it gets a little hairy. But she dealt with it fine as I knew she would.

Yeah, Benny is being a Booger. He simply won't take anything but fresh milk from his mama and sweet potatoes. We started him on some food already since he is giving other people trouble when it comes to feeding time. Sweet potatoes was the first thing we tried and he really liked it. Pears not so much. I made soup tonight (squash, zucchini, etc) and he was a big fan of that too. Veggies it is!

Leo has had first hand experience with our newest picky eater as I have been taking a photography class on Thursdays. I am loving the class but Leo hates Thursdays since Benny causes chaos when it comes time to feeding. It sucks and I feel bad. BUT I gotta get away sometimes too. My friend Carrie and I are having a great time in class, learning new things and bouncing new ideas off each other. It's just the thing I needed.

Today we went to the museum of art as a family. It was such beautiful weather we couldn't pass it up to stay inside. My friend and I went there the other night to take pictures and I wanted to get back there asap.There is lots of room for a certain little boy to run free and there is lots to enjoy there. It's a new place on my list to visit more often.

Uncle Matt has randomly decided to come up tonight and we welcome his arrival. We plan to get a bonfire going shortly and we are off to Mom and Ed's for a Father's Day dinner tomorrow. The fun never ends around here.

A Room of His Own

When Nathan hit the four month mark we made the transition from pack 'n play in the bedroom to his crib in his own room. We anticipated the same move for Benny. And even though I knew it was coming and knew it would be ok, I still approached the time with reluctance. Those four months flew by. And now he's in his own room? The newborn days are behind us for good. I was sad about it but also a little happy. And even proud. With Nathan we couldn't put him down without him crying the second he realized the warm arms had vanished. Benny, on the other hand, is a heavy sleeper. When he's out, he's out. I set him down after the last feeding, around 10:30p or so and he's good until 7a. This feels good. Not that I don't worry about him in there all by himself. I imagine the worst. But this morning when I peeked in he was turned 45 degrees and completely out of his blanket sucking his thumb. ~Sigh~ He's so stinkin' cute. And I feel great today. The move to his own room was a good one.

Benny

I have a confession. I have fallen in love with another man. Again. His name is Benny and he is amazing! I remember when Nathan was a baby and becoming more aware and showing off his personality, how I fell in love with him too. The smiles and giggles and the way your baby looks at you. Just like falling in love with their Daddy - those little devils can really charm you!

The other day we were Skyping with Dad and Jo and I put Ben on the floor in front of the computer. He went from his belly to his back for the first time with an audience! Now when he is on his back he will fling his feet over and try to go from back to belly - making it all the way half the time. He moves in a circle, kicking his feet around. He smiles all the time. He will coo and agoo at you, even more when you talk to him. And when he needs something, it's usually pretty easy to figure out. He gets fussy when he's hungry, dirty or tired. Other than that he's happy as can be in someone's arms. He sleeps a lot but is certainly more awake as the days go by. He pays attention to the TV now. We find he loves to watch hockey, like Nathan did. We put him in one of those exersaucer things and he does well. Now of course we have baby and big boy stuff all over the place. But it's ok. It's a sign of a fun and busy house full of kids. He sleeps through the night for the most part and today I have been putting him him his own crib during naps to get him used to his own room.

The newborn stage is over. . . Damn that was fast!

I remember this part too; wanting to say so much more about your beautiful little baby but not having the words. Just wanting to look at him and the feel the feelings since no words can match the moment. That's where I'm at. Just happily in love with Baby Boy #2. My newest beau. And his name is Ben.

Cookies, Road Trip and Sickness

So I'm sick. I have an upper respiratory infection. Ick. I've got a cough that won't quit and a sore throat. Leo has to put up with my hacking all night but during the day all I can do is whisper so it's not a complete loss for him. Haha. It's thrown me off, feeling so crappy and having to cancel plans this week so I can stay in and get better. But as always I try to make the best of things. So to the kitchen we go. Monday Nathan and I made cookies. Ok, we really just opened the package and put the pre-cut dough pieces on the cookie sheet but this is all he has the attention span for. Also, it was his idea when he saw the cute Mickey Mouse/ I <3 Mom picture on the box. Yesterday we made chocolate dipped pretzels. Sorta. They had them at our little BBQ/ pool opening event the other day and he thought it was a great idea. So I melted a bar of chocolate, dipped some pretzels and covered them in sprinkles and m&ms. He thought this was lots of fun too. I finally figured the kid out - make it short and sweet (literally) and he will pay attention. Anyway, it's helped to pass the time and remind me what it's like to have my buddy back. My growing boy has favored his daddy so much I wondered if he forgot about me.

We had lots of time last week though, to get to know each other again when my mom and I ventured up to NY for a long visit. I packed up the many bags required to hold all the crap for two little boys and a mommy, including lots of DVD's, toys, and snacks, and off we went. We left Thursday morning and made a stop in MD for a long overdue Garrison visit. Jim & Jane were kind enough to open their home to me and my crazy boys. Aunt Mary and Elaine came for dinner as well. Nathan made himself at home with all the toys Aunt Jane put out for little boys like him. All the 'little people' and other such toys I used to play with as a kid. So fun that she saved it and now my kids can play with them! He loved walking around visiting with the statues in her garden - a turtle here, a frog there, live birds eating and bathing - the listening to the sound of the tree frogs in the distance. He spied a playground from their sun room window so of course we went off to investigate. He saw the parts of Uncle Jimmy's fire truck he is putting together and asked about the fireman helmet on the wall. "Is it real?!" He even got to try it on. He was very comfortable, busy and very good. Nathan loves to explore new places and people.

The next morning the kids were better than I could have hoped for. They slept almost the entire way. We made it to North Jersey, close to Greg & Danielle's exit, before stopping for lunch and a break. When we got to Rockland we had a quick visit with Ed's mom, Janet. She was so happy to see the little ones. And I think Nathan enjoyed her little dogs.

Friday evening, after a quick visit with my Dad and and short rest after the ride, we went down to visit Grandpa Truck in Orangeburg. It was a surreal moment: pumping the Beastie Boys at top volume in my Dads van with my kids in the back. Never imagined that scene when I used to drive those streets. We had some delicious NY pizza and Nathan got to play in the yard, on the same little playground Leo and Kerri used to use next door. He was worn out good!

Saturday I enjoyed a walk with Joanne around Rockland Lake (a usual event on the weekends I like to participate in if I can). Dad was left with the boys. When I was walking out the door he was bent over a dirty diaper exclaiming "Oohhhhhh." See ya later Dad! They survived.

A quick shower and we were off again, to Pearl River. We met up with Christine and Liza and their kids. Again, who would have imagined it, all of us sitting around with our kids. Nathan was only slightly amused with the girl toys laying about. He was more interested in abusing the dog. Our visit didn't last long after that. Benny of course is so easy still - he's either sleeping or looking around smiling at the world. I would have liked to visit with other cousins in the area but nap time was looming. We were only 10 minutes in the car and Nathan was passed out. Aahhh....a little break.

Later in the afternoon we went up the Haverstraw to a park Pop wanted to take the boys (well, Nathan). It's up near where Bay View used to be, right on the river. It's a huge playground area next to picnic areas and a 9/11 memorial. We were there for hours watching Nathan run between all things he could climb and explore. Seriously, this kid is so lucky he gets to play so much. And I'm so lucky he can get his energy out and climb. He's so very good at it. We were getting ready to leave when Dad told me to hurry with the camera. There was a red-tailed hawk just sitting there by the cars with a squirrel in his claws. We watched for a good 15 minutes or so as he tried to escape the crowd with his heavy dinner. It was so cool.

Sunday started out early and I was eager to get up and go and not just because I was leaving both boys with Pop and Jo. (Well, Pop. Joanne went out walking again. Thanks Pop!) I met friend and photographer Sarah at the hook to take pictures of Greg, Danielle and Lily. I was excited to witness one of her shoots and of course to see the beautiful Lily without my wild one running all over the place. I enjoyed watching her work, being out in Nyack and being without the boys for a little while. They were literally on me the entire time otherwise, or so it felt, but that's another story. I saw the pictures from the shoot later that week and they are amazing. I would have liked to get a session with Sarah the Great but you know what they say - you get what you pay for. We are going to have to save our pennies for a session with her someday!

Sunday afternoon was all about family. I invited whoever I could think of and Dad and Jo opened the doors. Tim & Jen, Greg, Danielle & Lily, the Martins and the Subbas were all there. Dad put on music, Jen ran around with the kids, Jo was busy in the kitchen. From the spread you would have thought it had been planned for more than 24 hours. It was the perfect impromptu coming together of families!

Sunday night we were of course zonked. Every night felt like that actually. Which would have been good. If Nathan didn't fight me every single night. The one night at Jim and Janes he did sleep with me but the rest of the time he had his own little bed. That he did not want to sleep in. But I fought it. I so wanted to big bed just for me. Just a for a few hours before I had to get up to feed Ben again! After much fighting, for many hours, Nathan did sleep. But the last few nights I was exhausted. And caved. And was surrounded by little bodies. Oh how I love those little bodies but I'd rather not get smacked in the face at 2am! Nathan doesn't stay still even in his sleep! (This is why I'm sick now people. No solid sleep will really wear you down.)

Monday we decided to go the Central Park Zoo where Aunt Jen works. An early start did not happen and traffic was no in our favor so we got there around noon. But it was ok. We had a movie going in the car and a nice cool overcast day was perfect when we got there. My favorite part: when Nathan looked out the window as we crossed the GW and said "Look, there's NYC!" My 2nd favorite part: Dad yelled at the morons driving and talking on their phones and yelled "Get off your damn phone!" Later Nathan repeated to the cars, "Get off your phone." We walked around the zoo for a while, a nice treat since we missed a zoo visit with our friends in NC the week before. We ventured through Central Park as well. I could spend days there. I love that place. Benny missed it all. Such a good sleeper.

Tuesday was a rainy, lazy day. We had some last minute visits and errands, laundry and collecting of stuff throughout the entire house. I spent time in the basement getting together Nathan's first stash of big boy legos. This was a great investment of time. We have been playing legos every day since we got home. For more than 5 minutes at a time. This is a big deal for him as he appears to have ADD at times between all the toys and activities. But legos are a winner!

Wednesday we headed home. Dad dropped us off at Greg's where we hoped into Mom's (newly repaired) car and off we went (yet another story!). It was nice to have one more little visit (and some NY bagels) before we left (thanks Greg!). The ride home was rough. It's a long way for little boys. But we made it. And we were very happy to see Daddy. Next time he's coming with us. Being both mommy and daddy was exhausting!

I don't know when we will be back but I'm glad we got all those visits in. As much as we missed Daddy, I was happy to reconnect with my Nathan, my little buddy. And there won't always be a reason to get up to Rockland. Our parents are retiring and getting ready for a new phase of life. Moves are in the future for many of them. So visits "back home" won't always be there so I'm glad for the chance to enjoy it all a few more times.

Picture Update

I have a love/ hate thing with technology. It makes our lives easy but at the same time I always feel behind, especially with pictures. I had a few minutes of peace while the kids are sleeping so I updated our PicasaWeb pictures. You can see them here: https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/myphotos. I don't always post a bunch onto facebook but I try to put most of them on picasa. I mean, how many places can I put pictures people? I try not to get too overwhelmed. I know someday more time will come to me and I just try to organize the best I can in the meantime.

Anyway, even if I don't have time to blog about our lives at least there are a few pix here and there to capture the moments. And boy do we have moments! Enjoy the pictures!

Celebration Trifecta

Yesterday we celebrated all the good stuff we have going on around here. Benny being born, Nathan's 3rd Birthday and our 5th Wedding Anniversary. How lucky to have so many things to be grateful for. Our small celebration turned into the regular Trend Haus 35. It's the average number of adults that come to our events these days, not counting the dozen or so kids that come attached. But we don't mind one bit. The more the merrier and that was true yesterday as well. The weather was perfect for a silly little Easter egg hunt on the front lawn (to throw in another celebration) and for the kids to play outside. They all loved Nathan's birthday present from Tim & Jen, his air rocket that is easy and safe and fun - the ideal gift for a 3 year old!

The night before, the weekend was kicked off with Monster Jam. Leo took Nathan along with Grandpa Truck, Kerri, Rob and Logan. I was glad they went and even more glad to stay home with Benny. We enjoyed sushi and a movie and peace and quiet. Well, kind of. Ben's nose has been on and off congested since birth but was worse over the weekend and sounds much like Darth Vader with a cold. As if just sounding like Darth Vader isn't bad enough.

The hours of quiet was awesome and was broken quite quickly when they all returned home by 9:30 or so. The boys didn't last the whole thing through - it's very loud and very scary according to the boys - but they still had fun. And continued to overnight. Logan stayed over for the first time and the two of them chased each other through the house for the next 18 hours. They are super cute together. And double trouble. At one point, when the party was winding down on Saturday, I found Nathan and Logan in the bathroom. With their hands in the toilet. Splashing. Laughing. And drinking the water! I wish I could have approached with poise and forethought. I would have taken a picture to show them 18 years from now. But instead I reacted and yelled at them. They were drinking toilet water after all. And who knows if it was clean. They each were pulled in different directions to be washed up and reprimanded while I wiped up the floor, walls and toilet bowl. Good grief. "Bendy" (as Logan calls Ben) decided to get in on the action and pee all over the changing table, wall AND crib and mattress. Ah the stories we will tell years from now. Just try to think of the stories, that's what I tell myself.

I wanted to say that I hated that Nathan's birthday went by without much mention. As mothers know, it's a celebration for us as much as it is for our babies. And I wanted to mark the time in writing, to tell what he is up to and how special he is. But there is so little time to sit and reflect. Even when I was writing out Leo's anniversary card there was so much I wanted to say and there were barely 5 minutes in the day where I could sit quietly and do just that. There are always distractions and things to be done and people needing me. But having all those things going on is the product of the life we have right now. As much as I want more quiet time and to be needed less, I know I would (and will someday) miss it. I will try to take some time to reflect on my growing boys as the months go by. But in the meantime, when I look back I will know that while I had little time I had to write about it, the more time I was spending living it!

Brewery Blowout

When you double the kids in your house, the basic principles of the universe don't apply. For example, math. +1 kid = +1 persons' worth of laundry. Wrong! It equals three! I forget how much laundry is generated from one tiny, messy human being. I did it all on Friday morning and by Saturday night I had to do two more. How does this happen? Let me explain.

We were leaving the house Saturday to meet Uncle Tim and Aunt Jen (who were here for the weekend), Gigi and Grandpa out for lunch. We were ready to walk out the door, all of us clean, and looking nice for the day, when Benny threw up all over his cute little red outfit. Ew. It was a lot. Ok, no biggie. He's got a lot of cute outfits. I changed him, packed another (on top of the other extra outfits already in the bag) and away we went. We met at Tobacco Road in Durham (great place, btw) and then we went to Fullsteam Brewery for a little visit. We heard it's an open area, family-friendly and good beer. So we made that our afternoon destination. It was relatively quiet when we got there and got settled at a picnic-table style area and we had the corner to ourselves. I decided I would discretely feed him (hey, it's family friendly and no one could see a thing). This went well. Until it didn't. Ben let out a big wet push and I knew a diaper change was in my immediate future. I didn't yet know it was too late. As I left to take him out to the car for a change (I'll feed him in public but changing while people are trying to enjoy their beer isn't nice) I noticed a strange warmth on my leg. I look down to see a long, wet yellow stripe dripping down my pant leg. The kid EXPLODED on me. Ugh. Tim and Leo were there to help me. Tim was a champ and reached out to take Benny and walked out to the car with me. OMG it was disgusting! I was so very happy to have a big new box of wipes for both me and Benny to clean up with. Several minutes, many wipes and a new outfit later (him not me - I had an awesome wet spot all down my right side) we returned. I was worried we made a trail of poop without knowing. We didn't but he did make a puddle I didn't see, right under the bench. Worse - my moms purse had fallen on the floor minutes before and yes, it fell right into the puddle. Ugh! Well, by then I couldn't stop laughing (because really, I might have cried otherwise) and I cleaned up the puddle from the floor and bench while Gigi cleaned up her bag. Ew. Ben then spit up on my shirt and dripped on my leg but by then who cared - I was such a mess anyway. It was getting hot in that place and I was done holding an explosive child so we went on our way to my moms.

There, we celebrated Nathan's birthday. Dinner, cake, gifts, etc. No catastrophic messes. On the way home, my tired three year old fell asleep. When we got home, Leo picked him up and tried to get him ready for bed. In the process, half asleep, Nathan started to pee. All over Daddy! I do mean all over - like a fire hose. Leo freaked, Nathan started to cry and Benny was already wailing from the car seat sitting on the floor. I went in for rescue and clean up only to kneel in his puddle of pee. Awesome! I was literally covered in my kids fluids. Thus the immediate need for laundry. Infant outfits, toddler PJ's, mommy's jeans, blankets and towels - all soiled in the space of 10 hours. Ugh! I'm still laughing though. The site of me walking around with fluorescent yellow down my leg just had to be funny. I would have pointed and laughed at me too!

Despite the messes, the weekend was fun. Tim and Jen arrived to our house Friday and we made the trek to Pullen Park to ride the train and carousel once again and enjoy ice cream afterwards. That night we wall went to Red Robins for dinner when the birthday boy was serenaded Happy Birthday for the first time by a wait staff and got his own little sundae. We opened a big gift at home and the boys put it all together. (Thanks Truck for the b-ball hoop!) Saturday Nathan got an e-reader (which he likes to think of as his own ipad) and a cool rocket ship for playing outside which fit in with our space theme. The dining room was decorated with the planets we made earlier in the week and the walls were decked out with stars. The cake was a work of art by Tim and Jen, as Saturn, complete with aliens entering their space ship. I have to say I'm glad we didn't go all out for a party this year. Even though he would have enjoyed it I think the whole theme thing was lost on him. And when you ask him how old he is, he is still saying "3 in March." There are plenty years to come where we can have a big bash. This year it was just fine as is.

This morning we had everyone over for one last visit before Tim and Jen left. The Trend Brunch is a favorite event around here. And now it's Sunday. Aaahhhh. We are hanging out, watching March Madness, having left over cake and playing with new toys. Oh yes, and doing laundry.

Groovy

I hate when people say "I want to but I never have time for that!" The truth is, if you really want to do something, if it's really important to you - you make the time. And so, instead of scrolling through FB or messing around with a game on my Kindle when I have a minute or two, I will do my best to spend time here, updating the blog. It's what I really want to do and it is important. So here we go . . . a small minute at a time.

That's usually all I have. A minute at a time. Sometimes 5 or 10. At night I'll even steal an extra 30 if I can, to read, because it's time just for me. But it's a challenge. I'm always interrupted in everything I do so that there is rarely a meal I can get through without helping to feed, hold or clean up someone else; a night, obviously, that I don't have to get up to change and feed someone and sometimes even more often, put back into bed and calm after a bad dream; a shower where I don't have to stick my head out to check that the big boy isn't abusing the little boy. Even this sentence was interrupted by the big boy who wanted a snack. Adding a kid to the family is like learning to drive a stick. You start and stop a lot. Uphill seems impossible. And switching gears is jarring and grinds your gears. But after a while you become a pro. You can go on any road you want regardless of hills. You can switch gears all day long and never stall. You find your groove. We're getting there.

The last two nights we had less interruptions. The other night there was only cry out from Nathan in the middle of the night. Last night, none, and Benny only woke once for a feeding. (I admit I may have slept through the motions of another feeding somehow but I'm pretty sure it was just the one.) If we can keep this up, I can continue to catch up on sleep and find a nice groove for a while. This idea, and that I wrote instead of doing mindless FB stalking, are both good. I'm going to stick with it. It feels groovy.

The Good, The Bad and The Tired

When we bought Nathan home for the first time, it was one of the longest nights of my life. He was congested and had trouble nursing. So he was hungry and tired and inconsolable. I had to call my mother to come, at 5:30am, to come rescue us. I'm so tired, I remember saying. He won't stop crying! She came. We gave the poor kid a bottle. We all slept for a few hours and a tiny bit of sanity was restored. Getting past that night was huge. We learned a lot of lessons all at once and I knew right away that every night after that would be better. How could it be worse? (I was also dealing with the pain of a c-section on top of a new baby. Ugh!)

Right now, I'm wondering what will be our worst night this time around? We know so much more than we did the first time so we haven't wasted time on worrying about the small things that usually trip up a first time parent. (Like, should I give him a bottle if he's hungry or will that cause 'nipple confusion' like all the books say?!) We knew what the sleeplessness would be like. We knew there would be crying and messes and a little bit of madness. But it's so different when there is already a kid in the house. And that kid is sick.

I don't know how much sleep I did or didn't get last night. I just know I saw just about every hour on the clock. (Except 10p. I slept well from about 9:45 to 11:30. And that is pretty much the longest period of sleep I got at once.) Leo and I were both up. If it wasn't one kid who was waking up hungry, it was the other one hacking up a lung. Nathan has a cough that won't quit and has been accompanied by a very annoying whine and on and off fever. It was constant. All night long. At one point, all four of us were up and I had to force the positive out of the situation - at least I had some company at the wee hours of the morning. By 7am we were all in bed and got another block of sleep. But still, this day is going to be a long one and again I wonder, will this be the worst of it? The answer of course is yes and no. This may be the worst of it this time, this week, this cold we are fighting. But man, it could be so much worse. And may be at some point. But overall, we are healthy and happy and well taken care of. Even though these long nights really suck, we are once again learning lots with every mishap we have to deal with. And like I said, at least I have company along the way.

Brotherly Love

If you've seen the pictures lately you have a pretty clear indication of what has been going on around here: Pure loving on this new little boy. But I have to say, most of this attention comes from Nathan. When I posted some pictures of Nathan and Benny the other day, some moms actually asked me, "Was this posed? I can never get my kids to do that." The answer is no. I actually had to run to get the camera to catch Nathan all lovey-dovey (and then tell him to back off, and share some of the air).

From the when Nathan started fully understanding that a baby was going to join our family, he was totally accepting. Seeing other families with infants helped, and being that he is a loving and curious fellow himself, I think he was truly as excited as we were that Benny would be joining us, and coming to stay. He would talk to Benny while he was still in my belly and tell him he was excited for him to come out and play. And now that he is here, he continues to talk to him (and answer for him) and make sure to include Benny in all his hugs and kisses. He even came up with "Benny" for a name. I asked him is he liked Benjamin and he shot back Benny. And so it stuck. When I say Ben he even corrects me. "No, it's Benny!" Ok, sorry!

The only time I felt there was a touch of jealousy was one night this past week when Nathan got up in the night to come to our room. He peeked over me to see Benny in bed between me and Leo and I saw his little face crumble. He pointed and said "I want to sleep with you too!" When his request was denied he said, "Just move Benny over!" He cried, Daddy returned him to his room, and then I cried. We were waiting for him to find out that there was often a warm body between us and it wasn't his. He recovered nicely and was happy and loving as can be the next morning. In fact, later I realized it wasn't that he was asking for Benny to not be there at all, he just didn't want to miss out on the party himself. If anything he just wanted to be close to him too.

Of all the memories made this past week, I think my favorite will always be the first time the two brothers met. When Gigi and Grandpa brought Nathan to the hospital for his first visit we had a wait a while for Ben to join us in the room after some check ups. They were able to go to the nursery and see him through the window. I'm told he waved and was so happy and proud to see his little brother. When he was wheeled into the room later on, he couldn't wait to get in there and see him. It was as if the kid had done all this before. He got up close and wanted to touch Benny's face and head and hands. He counted his fingers and toes and pointed out all the features on his face. (I hadn't done this - I assumed they were all there. Good thing someone was checking!) He finally got to hold him in his lap and he was as gentle as could be, careful to hold his head and sit him upright. Nathan kissed his head and has continued to do so ever since being home. He holds his hands and seems to look at his little brother with as much awe as we do. I'm thinking Nathan is an old soul. He seems to truly understand love and tenderness. He makes me so proud.

I hope we will continue to show love and teach Ben his gentle ways. I couldn't ask for a more caring little boy to show the other little boy the way.

Happy Birth Day Benny!

In my last blog I casually said that even though we didn't anticipate it, we didn't really know how much time we had until baby arrived. It's true, seeing as he is here already! Here's the story:

Thursday I wasn't feeling right at all. I had the pleasure of a day to myself while Nathan was at Gigi and Grandpa's and I used the time to be a little lazy and relax. But I was uncomfortable so it was hard to enjoy. And while I was thinking in the back of my head, "hmmm...could this be it?", out loud I said "I can't take much more of this!". I didn't want to be the one to say I thought something was happening. Although I believe in a woman's intuition, there is also a thing called wishful thinking that is just as strong in desperate times. So I shut up and tried to suck it up when I could, knowing there was likely several days ahead of feeling awful. BUT, it turns out it was right to question the activity. Thursday night was the last time I would go to sleep a mother of one.

At 11:55pm I woke to turn over (a big production you can imagine). I got up to pee and knew something wasn't right. I'll skip past the gory info, but long story short, my water had broken. At this point I wasn't sure that was the case. But I felt some activity shortly after and let's just say I had finally gotten to have the midnight-grab-your-stuff-call-reinforcements-Oh-My-God-this-hurts experience. It was as close to the movies as you'll get I think. I waited an hour after I first woke up to make sure it was the real thing. The contractions I was feeling picked up, 12 then 10 then 8 minutes apart. I woke Leo, called the doctor then my mom. This was really happening!

Something I learned about Leo since we've been married is that he definitely has a freak out mode. It shows up when I need him to act fast. Like when there is something leaking (like a kid throwing up for example)and I need a rag. "What kind?! From where?! What?!" Seriously? Get a freakin' rag so I can clean up this mess. He stands there asking questions not sure which next move is the right one, his analytical mind going haywire without the time to fully assess the situation and all its options. I feel like I can deal with these small dramas life hands us. I can switch gears and think quickly (especially when it comes to cleaning up messes that can turn into bigger messes if not tended to properly). I won't say Leo was in freak out mode - there wasn't really an instance of him having to clean up something leaking (I dealt with that myself) but it was a situation that required us to move. And to me, he didn't seem to be moving fast enough. But then again, I was in more and more pain as the minutes ticked by so I would have yelled at the clocks if there was any sense in that - everything was moving slowly! Anyway, when we were all ready and just waiting for my mom to come so we could go, he turned to me and said "See, I didn't freak out!" Thank god we didn't have too much to think about - I don't know how we would have made it without me freaking out at his freaking out.

My mom came to be with Nathan and off we went. Leo asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 what kind of hurry we should be in. As mentioned, everything stood still when the pain came on. But I answered that a 6 would suffice - I would rather not die in a wreck on the way to the hospital thankyouverymuch. The upside to midnight labor - no traffic. The ride was not painless but quick as it could be. We walked/ waddled into the hospital from the parking lot (no we did not play up the TV scenario where the husband runs and and screams "My wife is in LABOR!" and someone rushes around with a wheelchair) and we were taken in right away when we got to the 2nd floor.It was determined pretty fast that my water had indeed been broken, yes these were real contractions (2 minutes apart) and yes, I was having a baby. Now. I was barely dilated but by then I knew I was going for the repeat c-section. Let me just stop and say those who have gone through this without meds are freakin' miracles in and of themselves. Seriously, those contractions were killer and I was nowhere near having a regular birth. How women do it I have no idea. I was so very happy to get those drugs in me.

By 3:45am I had been wheeled into the OR and was getting those wonderful drugs. Being so aware of the spinal was a different experience this time around. The staff there was amazing. So much of this is pure emotion and they really take that into consideration. There was someone in front of me with a warm blanket to literally hug me through the whole process and other staff there to encourage me that I was doing a good job. You need that when you go through something like this - shivering from being cold and nervous and convulsing through the pain every two minutes yet having to "relax your shoulders, lean forward, relax your shoulders". Yeah, relax. Ugh! Soon though, I was numb. Leo came in, in his scrubs and baby was on his way out. Leo was able to stand and watch yet again as the doctor reached in and pulled out Baby Trend #2. At 4:02am Benjamin Connor was born. The doctor, Dr. Zimmerman, even held Ben's little face over the curtain for me to take a quick peek right after he was pulled out. The rest of the half hour or so played out like last time. Leo went with the nurses for clean up and they stitched me up while I laid there not sure what to think. My mind went blank I was so over-loaded with emotion. It was only four hours since I had woken up from a sound sleep and now, we have our Benny early!

By the way, Ben's due date was 2/14 - 18 days from his actual birthdate. Nathan was 9 days late. So I was 27 less days pregnant with Ben than Nathan. And he was still a healthy 7lbs, 12 oz and 21 1/4" long. Imagine the size of that moose had he waited?!

I went to recovery for a while and Leo joined me. Last time was a little different as baby was in the room with me but this time he was off getting cleaned up elsewhere. At one point a nurse came in and said, "Mrs. Trendowicz, your baby....(oh my god what?!) has slightly low sugar levels. Is it alright if we give him some formula?" Oh for god's sake, of course. I thought they were going to say something awful happened. Give him whatever he needs!

In the hospital room we went, as the sun was coming up (or should have been - there was quite a rain storm going on out there). Benny joined us and I finally held him for the first time. It's as magical the 2nd time as it is the 1st. I was still in shock that it happened when it did. I think I still am. I was so happy to have him in my arms. Even on no sleep and after some pain medication (oh that's how those crazy mama's did it - they knew it was so worth it!). The rest of the day we enjoyed looking at our new little guy who looked exactly like Nathan (and still does as I type). We called our families and I sent a text to my brothers so they would have a nice surprise to wake up to. And the rest of the day seems to blur in my memory even now. The pain meds kicked in nicely and even though I still didn't sleep much until we got home a few days later, I was feeling pretty good. Mom and Ed brought Nathan to come meet Ben (more on that later) and Sharon and Stan made the trip up to come see us too. There wasn't much other company and I was ok with that. I just wanted to take it the fact that my family had grown literally overnight!

That night I counted down every slow minute that passed by in the dark. Being hooked up every which way is, to me, my own personal hell. I was having pain in my back (that I later learned is gas that builds up in your body after surgery. Ouch.) and every way I tried to get comfortable was worse than the last. My Kindle kept me company and the promise of a new day with less pain kept me going. Having gone through it before made it easier to go through again. I knew each hour, each day would be better. And so far it has been. The wires were disconnected, I was able to get out of bed, eventually shower and enjoy the little bit of company that we had on saturday. I was so ready that I asked to be let out on Sunday morning. I could have stayed until Monday or even Tuesday. But I knew I would be fine, and it was time to get out of there.

Besides, I had someone at home to take care of me. Saturday morning, Leo left to go home and do a few things. Hours later he walked into the room and said, "Look who I found in the parking lot." Joanne had found a reasonable flight and came down. Surprise! I knew someone was going to show up - there were enough family that expressed how much they wished they could be there. I was glad to see her there. She was so helpful with cooking and cleaning and helping with Nathan and Benny too of course. Between her and my own mother I don't know how I could have gotten through the last week. That night that Ben was born, Nathan had gotten up once, looking for us, but seemed ok to be with my mother. He hung out with them for three more nights and had the best time, as usual. I don't worry about him at all knowing he is taken care of so well with Gigi and Grandpa. And having the time to bond with just Benny was the best gift Leo and I could have gotten. We are so lucky to have so many people to take care of us. Love is in the air, people!

Anyway, Joanne left Tuesday but she and my Dad will be back soon, as will many other visitors over the next couple months. My mom is still helpful as ever, coming to hang out, clean up, bring food, hold and change the baby, etc. Today she took Nathan to the museum to enjoy the wonderful weather out there. Benny and I got to spend some time together and I got some things done around here too. The fun stuff - like take some pictures. About that - I have lots to share but the time comes in bits and pieces between feedings and changings, etc. They will come as will birth announcements too I hope. There is time of course. But I just can't wait for everyone to know about our little guy. Then again, with Facebook everyone is as up to date as you can be I guess!

So now, we are in recovery mode and getting used to being a family of 4. My friends have come through and brought food over already, making note that I wasn't expected to have him until next week. The evenings are hard enough with adjusting to the needs of another person. At least meals are covered.

As for me, I'm healing nicely. We have gone on three walks in a row and I plan to keep going. It's been so warm there is no reason not too. I can do it and I want to get back to being me.

Stay posted for pictures and more from The Trends as we get comfy in our new little family. I'm sure I'll have plenty stories about Nathan being the best big brother ever. I think he has fallen in love too!