Mouth of a Sailor

Nathan looks much older now since he got a close shave the other day. Not his face. His head. I was doing ok with the home haircuts but when I tried to shape and trim it just a tad bit more, Nathan decided he was beyond done with this little project and would no longer participate. The result was a ridiculous looking mess. The only answer was to buzz it. Going to the #2 setting, I tearfully cut the long blonde locks on the top of his head until I couldn't see through my tears. Leo took over saying "it's only hair, it's fine." And it was. Now I see his cute little face even better and his noggin is so perfectly round and fuzzy now I think I fell in love with him all over again.

Until he started talking like a sailor.

The other day he dropped a book he was carrying and I heard him mutter "oh crap." Yeah, oh crap is right. He said with perfect timing and volume as if he's been saying it all his life. He's been watching mommy very closely. Daddy too. We are both guilty of potty mouth and have curbed it when we can. But the little every day things slip through. Apparently we also say,"What the hell?" often. When Leo made a loud noise putting glass in the recycling bin, Nathan responded with this inappropriate question. We still smirk and have to leave the room when he says shit, I mean stuff, like this. It's hilarious to hear his little voice remark in such a grown up way. But then I imagine him saying this in front of our friends, in public, at school, etc and I want to hide. Well, he's still young enough most people would still laugh at this. But still, we can't encourage it. I see a three year old saying, "WTF Mom?! Where the HELL is my dinner?!" This reminds me of a joke . . . let's hope we don't live up to this one.

The Train

A mother was working in the kitchen and listening to her son playing with his new electric trains in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now because this is the last stop. All of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train now, because we're leaving." The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now go to your room for two hours. When you calm down, you may play with your trains as long as you use proper language." Two hours later, the mother was still working in the kitchen when her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his trains. The train stopped and the mother heard, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take your belongings. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. For those just boarding, we ask that you stow your hand luggage under the seat and we hope you enjoy your trip. For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen!"