Here we are in Mid-May but it may as well be July (kinda). It's been warm enough to enjoy the opening of the pool in our neighborhood. I was thinking the pool would be frigid and that Benny would hate the water (cold or not) but it turned out neither was the case. We enjoyed a couple hours in the sun and the comfortable water. Nathan still forgets her can't quite swim on his own yet but he's brushing up on his skills from last year and since he has no fear, he will readjust and learn quickly. Benny was not fun to take last year since he would mostly just scream in terror but this year he has screamed in delight as long as he "old on mommy" (holds on to mommy). If you see me with a starfish-shaped outline on my body at the summers' end it's because Benny attached himself to me and didn't get go. He is still my #1 snuggler in and out of the pool. I will squeeze and snuggle back as long as I possibly can.
Currently, Benny is upstairs where he often just wanders on his own to go play with trains for long periods of time by himself (Nathan never did this!). He is now calling down to Nathan, who is hiding under a pile of stuffed animals hanging out by himself. If only I could bottle up this time of contentment and quiet! It's not as common as I would like. But it is progress. Anyway, the way Benny looks for his big brother is priceless. I'm not sure who will have the harder transition come July when Nathan is the big boy at Kindergarten and Benny has more hours in the day without him.
Yes, Nathan is less than a week away from not being a preschooler any longer. Woah. As I probably stated, it's all good. He needs to attention and stimulation. But when I really look at him and think "not a preschooler anymore" I can't believe how old he is and how much he has grown. He is often pointing to signs and words now and saying."this says..." and then tells me what it says. I am always surprised and say. "I didn't know you could read!" He says, "I can't. It was just a lucky guess." Lucky guess, memorization or actual putting together of letters and sounds, he is progressing well and I don't worry about Kindergarten quite too much. He's much smarter than I think.
Benny too actually. It's easy to forget to teach the younger one all the basics since you're so busy with so much stuff. But apparently they learn it all anyway. We realized that Benny can count to 10 and is piecing together the alphabet. That probably sounds so dumb that a) I wasn't actively teaching him and b) I didn't know he knew so much. But for a while I was so worried about him not speaking enough that teaching him the basics went to the wayside. He's a good listener though and hopefully will learn the good (as well as the bad unfortunately) from his smart big bro.
This week the boys and I attended our last MOPS meeting. It was bittersweet of course since this particular group gave me so much in the way of friends, growth, and daily mommy support. But, as Hospitality Coordinator, it was quite a handful. I have some paperwork and guidelines to pass along but other than that, it is out of my hands now. Thinking back to the first few times we went, Nathan was such a mess when I would drop him off. I cried because it was so hard to watch him be so upset! Fast forward four years, Nathan makes friends all the time (not just MOPS but everywhere and maybe this experience helped him with that, same as it did for me) and Benny finally adjusted to new people as well which will help him in preschool next year. They really loved him in his room this year. Even though he would start out crying, the teachers in the room were tearful when they said goodbye to Benny the other day, saying they enjoyed extra last snuggles and saying I love you. To hear other people say that about your kids is heart melting.
Shedding that responsibility has been good for me. I also had to change some other things around as I wasn't feeling like myself for a few weeks and had to just step back and regroup. Sleep has been an issue and getting worse by the day. It started a while back where I would have trouble in places other than my own bed, then grew into an ugly monster that keep me up in my own house. I'm not completely sure what started it all but what didn't help is my little boys waking in the night, specifically Nathan coming into our room to tell me he couldn't sleep, "tuck me in" or just having to pee but not just going on his own. You can be a kind, patient mama for only so many nights. I did eventually flip out a time or two and I think he's beginning to see he really has to stop doing it. Emergencies and sickness are one thing. Waking me to tell me you can't sleep is so not ok. I'm feeling better now that I'm catching up but missing out on hours of precious rest really threw me for a while. I'm hoping not to revisit that crazy town again anytime soon.
I can feel the change in the air now, for the better, moving forward. Nathan has a couple things happening in the next week with the end of school, I am filling my calendar with sharing Nature's Pearl when I can and making plans for fun things to do in June with the kids before school starts for Nathan. Leo and I will be off to Vegas in less than two weeks where we will stay at the Flamingo and the Wynn for 5 days of fun in the sun. I can't wait to sit by a pool in peace and wander the strip with Leo. We have gotten some date nights in the past several months but it's never enough. And at home of course finishing a conversation above the sound of the motorized three wheeler and fighting over the lego "guys"....well, it's just not worth the yelling. Also, taking a break from the boys will be great. While they were playing nicely while I was sitting here catching up on the blog, I just heard Leo telling Nathan not to bring something large and heavy down the stairs by himself. Uh oh.
