When we bought Nathan home for the first time, it was one of the longest nights of my life. He was congested and had trouble nursing. So he was hungry and tired and inconsolable. I had to call my mother to come, at 5:30am, to come rescue us. I'm so tired, I remember saying. He won't stop crying! She came. We gave the poor kid a bottle. We all slept for a few hours and a tiny bit of sanity was restored. Getting past that night was huge. We learned a lot of lessons all at once and I knew right away that every night after that would be better. How could it be worse? (I was also dealing with the pain of a c-section on top of a new baby. Ugh!)
Right now, I'm wondering what will be our worst night this time around? We know so much more than we did the first time so we haven't wasted time on worrying about the small things that usually trip up a first time parent. (Like, should I give him a bottle if he's hungry or will that cause 'nipple confusion' like all the books say?!) We knew what the sleeplessness would be like. We knew there would be crying and messes and a little bit of madness. But it's so different when there is already a kid in the house. And that kid is sick.
I don't know how much sleep I did or didn't get last night. I just know I saw just about every hour on the clock. (Except 10p. I slept well from about 9:45 to 11:30. And that is pretty much the longest period of sleep I got at once.) Leo and I were both up. If it wasn't one kid who was waking up hungry, it was the other one hacking up a lung. Nathan has a cough that won't quit and has been accompanied by a very annoying whine and on and off fever. It was constant. All night long. At one point, all four of us were up and I had to force the positive out of the situation - at least I had some company at the wee hours of the morning. By 7am we were all in bed and got another block of sleep. But still, this day is going to be a long one and again I wonder, will this be the worst of it? The answer of course is yes and no. This may be the worst of it this time, this week, this cold we are fighting. But man, it could be so much worse. And may be at some point. But overall, we are healthy and happy and well taken care of. Even though these long nights really suck, we are once again learning lots with every mishap we have to deal with. And like I said, at least I have company along the way.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Brotherly Love
If you've seen the pictures lately you have a pretty clear indication of what has been going on around here: Pure loving on this new little boy. But I have to say, most of this attention comes from Nathan. When I posted some pictures of Nathan and Benny the other day, some moms actually asked me, "Was this posed? I can never get my kids to do that." The answer is no. I actually had to run to get the camera to catch Nathan all lovey-dovey (and then tell him to back off, and share some of the air). 
From the when Nathan started fully understanding that a baby was going to join our family, he was totally accepting. Seeing other families with infants helped, and being that he is a loving and curious fellow himself, I think he was truly as excited as we were that Benny would be joining us, and coming to stay. He would talk to Benny while he was still in my belly and tell him he was excited for him to come out and play. And now that he is here, he continues to talk to him (and answer for him) and make sure to include Benny in all his hugs and kisses. He even came up with "Benny" for a name. I asked him is he liked Benjamin and he shot back Benny. And so it stuck. When I say Ben he even corrects me. "No, it's Benny!" Ok, sorry!The only time I felt there was a touch of jealousy was one night this past week when Nathan got up in the night to come to our room. He peeked over me to see Benny in bed between me and Leo and I saw his little face crumble. He pointed and said "I want to sleep with you too!" When his request was denied he said, "Just move Benny over!" He cried, Daddy returned him to his room, and then I cried. We were waiting for him to find out that there was often a warm body between us and it wasn't his. He recovered nicely and was happy and loving as can be the next morning. In fact, later I realized it wasn't that he was asking for Benny to not be there at all, he just didn't want to miss out on the party himself. If anything he just wanted to be close to him too.
Of all the memories made this past week, I think my favorite will always be the first time the two brothers met. When Gigi and Grandpa brought Nathan to the hospital for his first visit we had a wait a while for Ben to join us in the room after some check ups. They were able to go to the nursery and see him through the window. I'm told he waved and was so happy and proud to see his little brother. When he was wheeled into the room later on, he couldn't wait to get in there and see him. It was as if the kid had done all this before. He got up close and wanted to touch Benny's face and head and hands. He counted his fingers and toes and pointed out all the features on his face. (I hadn't done this - I assumed they were all there. Good thing someone was checking!) He finally got to hold him in his lap and he was as gentle as could be, careful to hold his head and sit him upright. Nathan kissed his head and has continued to do so ever since being home. He holds his hands and seems to look at his little brother with as much awe as we do. I'm thinking Nathan is an old soul. He seems to truly understand love and tenderness. He makes me so proud. I hope we will continue to show love and teach Ben his gentle ways. I couldn't ask for a more caring little boy to show the other little boy the way.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Happy Birth Day Benny!
In my last blog I casually said that even though we didn't anticipate it, we didn't really know how much time we had until baby arrived. It's true, seeing as he is here already! Here's the story:
Thursday I wasn't feeling right at all. I had the pleasure of a day to myself while Nathan was at Gigi and Grandpa's and I used the time to be a little lazy and relax. But I was uncomfortable so it was hard to enjoy. And while I was thinking in the back of my head, "hmmm...could this be it?", out loud I said "I can't take much more of this!". I didn't want to be the one to say I thought something was happening. Although I believe in a woman's intuition, there is also a thing called wishful thinking that is just as strong in desperate times. So I shut up and tried to suck it up when I could, knowing there was likely several days ahead of feeling awful. BUT, it turns out it was right to question the activity. Thursday night was the last time I would go to sleep a mother of one.
At 11:55pm I woke to turn over (a big production you can imagine). I got up to pee and knew something wasn't right. I'll skip past the gory info, but long story short, my water had broken. At this point I wasn't sure that was the case. But I felt some activity shortly after and let's just say I had finally gotten to have the midnight-grab-your-stuff-call-reinforcements-Oh-My-God-this-hurts experience. It was as close to the movies as you'll get I think. I waited an hour after I first woke up to make sure it was the real thing. The contractions I was feeling picked up, 12 then 10 then 8 minutes apart. I woke Leo, called the doctor then my mom. This was really happening!
Something I learned about Leo since we've been married is that he definitely has a freak out mode. It shows up when I need him to act fast. Like when there is something leaking (like a kid throwing up for example)and I need a rag. "What kind?! From where?! What?!" Seriously? Get a freakin' rag so I can clean up this mess. He stands there asking questions not sure which next move is the right one, his analytical mind going haywire without the time to fully assess the situation and all its options. I feel like I can deal with these small dramas life hands us. I can switch gears and think quickly (especially when it comes to cleaning up messes that can turn into bigger messes if not tended to properly). I won't say Leo was in freak out mode - there wasn't really an instance of him having to clean up something leaking (I dealt with that myself) but it was a situation that required us to move. And to me, he didn't seem to be moving fast enough. But then again, I was in more and more pain as the minutes ticked by so I would have yelled at the clocks if there was any sense in that - everything was moving slowly! Anyway, when we were all ready and just waiting for my mom to come so we could go, he turned to me and said "See, I didn't freak out!" Thank god we didn't have too much to think about - I don't know how we would have made it without me freaking out at his freaking out.
My mom came to be with Nathan and off we went. Leo asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 what kind of hurry we should be in. As mentioned, everything stood still when the pain came on. But I answered that a 6 would suffice - I would rather not die in a wreck on the way to the hospital thankyouverymuch. The upside to midnight labor - no traffic. The ride was not painless but quick as it could be. We walked/ waddled into the hospital from the parking lot (no we did not play up the TV scenario where the husband runs and and screams "My wife is in LABOR!" and someone rushes around with a wheelchair) and we were taken in right away when we got to the 2nd floor.It was determined pretty fast that my water had indeed been broken, yes these were real contractions (2 minutes apart) and yes, I was having a baby. Now. I was barely dilated but by then I knew I was going for the repeat c-section. Let me just stop and say those who have gone through this without meds are freakin' miracles in and of themselves. Seriously, those contractions were killer and I was nowhere near having a regular birth. How women do it I have no idea. I was so very happy to get those drugs in me.
By 3:45am I had been wheeled into the OR and was getting those wonderful drugs. Being so aware of the spinal was a different experience this time around. The staff there was amazing. So much of this is pure emotion and they really take that into consideration. There was someone in front of me with a warm blanket to literally hug me through the whole process and other staff there to encourage me that I was doing a good job. You need that when you go through something like this - shivering from being cold and nervous and convulsing through the pain every two minutes yet having to "relax your shoulders, lean forward, relax your shoulders". Yeah, relax. Ugh! Soon though, I was numb. Leo came in, in his scrubs and baby was on his way out. Leo was able to stand and watch yet again as the doctor reached in and pulled out Baby Trend #2. At 4:02am Benjamin Connor was born. The doctor, Dr. Zimmerman, even held Ben's little face over the curtain for me to take a quick peek right after he was pulled out. The rest of the half hour or so played out like last time. Leo went with the nurses for clean up and they stitched me up while I laid there not sure what to think. My mind went blank I was so over-loaded with emotion. It was only four hours since I had woken up from a sound sleep and now, we have our Benny early!
By the way, Ben's due date was 2/14 - 18 days from his actual birthdate. Nathan was 9 days late. So I was 27 less days pregnant with Ben than Nathan. And he was still a healthy 7lbs, 12 oz and 21 1/4" long. Imagine the size of that moose had he waited?!
I went to recovery for a while and Leo joined me. Last time was a little different as baby was in the room with me but this time he was off getting cleaned up elsewhere. At one point a nurse came in and said, "Mrs. Trendowicz, your baby....(oh my god what?!) has slightly low sugar levels. Is it alright if we give him some formula?" Oh for god's sake, of course. I thought they were going to say something awful happened. Give him whatever he needs!
In the hospital room we went, as the sun was coming up (or should have been - there was quite a rain storm going on out there). Benny joined us and I finally held him for the first time. It's as magical the 2nd time as it is the 1st. I was still in shock that it happened when it did. I think I still am. I was so happy to have him in my arms. Even on no sleep and after some pain medication (oh that's how those crazy mama's did it - they knew it was so worth it!). The rest of the day we enjoyed looking at our new little guy who looked exactly like Nathan (and still does as I type). We called our families and I sent a text to my brothers so they would have a nice surprise to wake up to. And the rest of the day seems to blur in my memory even now. The pain meds kicked in nicely and even though I still didn't sleep much until we got home a few days later, I was feeling pretty good. Mom and Ed brought Nathan to come meet Ben (more on that later) and Sharon and Stan made the trip up to come see us too. There wasn't much other company and I was ok with that. I just wanted to take it the fact that my family had grown literally overnight!
That night I counted down every slow minute that passed by in the dark. Being hooked up every which way is, to me, my own personal hell. I was having pain in my back (that I later learned is gas that builds up in your body after surgery. Ouch.) and every way I tried to get comfortable was worse than the last. My Kindle kept me company and the promise of a new day with less pain kept me going. Having gone through it before made it easier to go through again. I knew each hour, each day would be better. And so far it has been. The wires were disconnected, I was able to get out of bed, eventually shower and enjoy the little bit of company that we had on saturday. I was so ready that I asked to be let out on Sunday morning. I could have stayed until Monday or even Tuesday. But I knew I would be fine, and it was time to get out of there.
Besides, I had someone at home to take care of me. Saturday morning, Leo left to go home and do a few things. Hours later he walked into the room and said, "Look who I found in the parking lot." Joanne had found a reasonable flight and came down. Surprise! I knew someone was going to show up - there were enough family that expressed how much they wished they could be there. I was glad to see her there. She was so helpful with cooking and cleaning and helping with Nathan and Benny too of course. Between her and my own mother I don't know how I could have gotten through the last week. That night that Ben was born, Nathan had gotten up once, looking for us, but seemed ok to be with my mother. He hung out with them for three more nights and had the best time, as usual. I don't worry about him at all knowing he is taken care of so well with Gigi and Grandpa. And having the time to bond with just Benny was the best gift Leo and I could have gotten. We are so lucky to have so many people to take care of us. Love is in the air, people!
Anyway, Joanne left Tuesday but she and my Dad will be back soon, as will many other visitors over the next couple months. My mom is still helpful as ever, coming to hang out, clean up, bring food, hold and change the baby, etc. Today she took Nathan to the museum to enjoy the wonderful weather out there. Benny and I got to spend some time together and I got some things done around here too. The fun stuff - like take some pictures. About that - I have lots to share but the time comes in bits and pieces between feedings and changings, etc. They will come as will birth announcements too I hope. There is time of course. But I just can't wait for everyone to know about our little guy. Then again, with Facebook everyone is as up to date as you can be I guess!
So now, we are in recovery mode and getting used to being a family of 4. My friends have come through and brought food over already, making note that I wasn't expected to have him until next week. The evenings are hard enough with adjusting to the needs of another person. At least meals are covered.
As for me, I'm healing nicely. We have gone on three walks in a row and I plan to keep going. It's been so warm there is no reason not too. I can do it and I want to get back to being me.
Stay posted for pictures and more from The Trends as we get comfy in our new little family. I'm sure I'll have plenty stories about Nathan being the best big brother ever. I think he has fallen in love too!
Thursday I wasn't feeling right at all. I had the pleasure of a day to myself while Nathan was at Gigi and Grandpa's and I used the time to be a little lazy and relax. But I was uncomfortable so it was hard to enjoy. And while I was thinking in the back of my head, "hmmm...could this be it?", out loud I said "I can't take much more of this!". I didn't want to be the one to say I thought something was happening. Although I believe in a woman's intuition, there is also a thing called wishful thinking that is just as strong in desperate times. So I shut up and tried to suck it up when I could, knowing there was likely several days ahead of feeling awful. BUT, it turns out it was right to question the activity. Thursday night was the last time I would go to sleep a mother of one.
At 11:55pm I woke to turn over (a big production you can imagine). I got up to pee and knew something wasn't right. I'll skip past the gory info, but long story short, my water had broken. At this point I wasn't sure that was the case. But I felt some activity shortly after and let's just say I had finally gotten to have the midnight-grab-your-stuff-call-reinforcements-Oh-My-God-this-hurts experience. It was as close to the movies as you'll get I think. I waited an hour after I first woke up to make sure it was the real thing. The contractions I was feeling picked up, 12 then 10 then 8 minutes apart. I woke Leo, called the doctor then my mom. This was really happening!
Something I learned about Leo since we've been married is that he definitely has a freak out mode. It shows up when I need him to act fast. Like when there is something leaking (like a kid throwing up for example)and I need a rag. "What kind?! From where?! What?!" Seriously? Get a freakin' rag so I can clean up this mess. He stands there asking questions not sure which next move is the right one, his analytical mind going haywire without the time to fully assess the situation and all its options. I feel like I can deal with these small dramas life hands us. I can switch gears and think quickly (especially when it comes to cleaning up messes that can turn into bigger messes if not tended to properly). I won't say Leo was in freak out mode - there wasn't really an instance of him having to clean up something leaking (I dealt with that myself) but it was a situation that required us to move. And to me, he didn't seem to be moving fast enough. But then again, I was in more and more pain as the minutes ticked by so I would have yelled at the clocks if there was any sense in that - everything was moving slowly! Anyway, when we were all ready and just waiting for my mom to come so we could go, he turned to me and said "See, I didn't freak out!" Thank god we didn't have too much to think about - I don't know how we would have made it without me freaking out at his freaking out.
My mom came to be with Nathan and off we went. Leo asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 what kind of hurry we should be in. As mentioned, everything stood still when the pain came on. But I answered that a 6 would suffice - I would rather not die in a wreck on the way to the hospital thankyouverymuch. The upside to midnight labor - no traffic. The ride was not painless but quick as it could be. We walked/ waddled into the hospital from the parking lot (no we did not play up the TV scenario where the husband runs and and screams "My wife is in LABOR!" and someone rushes around with a wheelchair) and we were taken in right away when we got to the 2nd floor.It was determined pretty fast that my water had indeed been broken, yes these were real contractions (2 minutes apart) and yes, I was having a baby. Now. I was barely dilated but by then I knew I was going for the repeat c-section. Let me just stop and say those who have gone through this without meds are freakin' miracles in and of themselves. Seriously, those contractions were killer and I was nowhere near having a regular birth. How women do it I have no idea. I was so very happy to get those drugs in me.
By 3:45am I had been wheeled into the OR and was getting those wonderful drugs. Being so aware of the spinal was a different experience this time around. The staff there was amazing. So much of this is pure emotion and they really take that into consideration. There was someone in front of me with a warm blanket to literally hug me through the whole process and other staff there to encourage me that I was doing a good job. You need that when you go through something like this - shivering from being cold and nervous and convulsing through the pain every two minutes yet having to "relax your shoulders, lean forward, relax your shoulders". Yeah, relax. Ugh! Soon though, I was numb. Leo came in, in his scrubs and baby was on his way out. Leo was able to stand and watch yet again as the doctor reached in and pulled out Baby Trend #2. At 4:02am Benjamin Connor was born. The doctor, Dr. Zimmerman, even held Ben's little face over the curtain for me to take a quick peek right after he was pulled out. The rest of the half hour or so played out like last time. Leo went with the nurses for clean up and they stitched me up while I laid there not sure what to think. My mind went blank I was so over-loaded with emotion. It was only four hours since I had woken up from a sound sleep and now, we have our Benny early!
By the way, Ben's due date was 2/14 - 18 days from his actual birthdate. Nathan was 9 days late. So I was 27 less days pregnant with Ben than Nathan. And he was still a healthy 7lbs, 12 oz and 21 1/4" long. Imagine the size of that moose had he waited?!
I went to recovery for a while and Leo joined me. Last time was a little different as baby was in the room with me but this time he was off getting cleaned up elsewhere. At one point a nurse came in and said, "Mrs. Trendowicz, your baby....(oh my god what?!) has slightly low sugar levels. Is it alright if we give him some formula?" Oh for god's sake, of course. I thought they were going to say something awful happened. Give him whatever he needs!
In the hospital room we went, as the sun was coming up (or should have been - there was quite a rain storm going on out there). Benny joined us and I finally held him for the first time. It's as magical the 2nd time as it is the 1st. I was still in shock that it happened when it did. I think I still am. I was so happy to have him in my arms. Even on no sleep and after some pain medication (oh that's how those crazy mama's did it - they knew it was so worth it!). The rest of the day we enjoyed looking at our new little guy who looked exactly like Nathan (and still does as I type). We called our families and I sent a text to my brothers so they would have a nice surprise to wake up to. And the rest of the day seems to blur in my memory even now. The pain meds kicked in nicely and even though I still didn't sleep much until we got home a few days later, I was feeling pretty good. Mom and Ed brought Nathan to come meet Ben (more on that later) and Sharon and Stan made the trip up to come see us too. There wasn't much other company and I was ok with that. I just wanted to take it the fact that my family had grown literally overnight!
That night I counted down every slow minute that passed by in the dark. Being hooked up every which way is, to me, my own personal hell. I was having pain in my back (that I later learned is gas that builds up in your body after surgery. Ouch.) and every way I tried to get comfortable was worse than the last. My Kindle kept me company and the promise of a new day with less pain kept me going. Having gone through it before made it easier to go through again. I knew each hour, each day would be better. And so far it has been. The wires were disconnected, I was able to get out of bed, eventually shower and enjoy the little bit of company that we had on saturday. I was so ready that I asked to be let out on Sunday morning. I could have stayed until Monday or even Tuesday. But I knew I would be fine, and it was time to get out of there.
Besides, I had someone at home to take care of me. Saturday morning, Leo left to go home and do a few things. Hours later he walked into the room and said, "Look who I found in the parking lot." Joanne had found a reasonable flight and came down. Surprise! I knew someone was going to show up - there were enough family that expressed how much they wished they could be there. I was glad to see her there. She was so helpful with cooking and cleaning and helping with Nathan and Benny too of course. Between her and my own mother I don't know how I could have gotten through the last week. That night that Ben was born, Nathan had gotten up once, looking for us, but seemed ok to be with my mother. He hung out with them for three more nights and had the best time, as usual. I don't worry about him at all knowing he is taken care of so well with Gigi and Grandpa. And having the time to bond with just Benny was the best gift Leo and I could have gotten. We are so lucky to have so many people to take care of us. Love is in the air, people!
Anyway, Joanne left Tuesday but she and my Dad will be back soon, as will many other visitors over the next couple months. My mom is still helpful as ever, coming to hang out, clean up, bring food, hold and change the baby, etc. Today she took Nathan to the museum to enjoy the wonderful weather out there. Benny and I got to spend some time together and I got some things done around here too. The fun stuff - like take some pictures. About that - I have lots to share but the time comes in bits and pieces between feedings and changings, etc. They will come as will birth announcements too I hope. There is time of course. But I just can't wait for everyone to know about our little guy. Then again, with Facebook everyone is as up to date as you can be I guess!
So now, we are in recovery mode and getting used to being a family of 4. My friends have come through and brought food over already, making note that I wasn't expected to have him until next week. The evenings are hard enough with adjusting to the needs of another person. At least meals are covered.
As for me, I'm healing nicely. We have gone on three walks in a row and I plan to keep going. It's been so warm there is no reason not too. I can do it and I want to get back to being me.
Stay posted for pictures and more from The Trends as we get comfy in our new little family. I'm sure I'll have plenty stories about Nathan being the best big brother ever. I think he has fallen in love too!
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