A diamond in the rough (morning)

Like all kids should, they really love their mama. But my kids REALLY love me. The stages where they can't seem to breathe if I'm not in their presence are especially surprising and frustrating. They both did it. (They probably all do it.) But I feel like we may be turning a corner. 

Two Tuesdays a month we have our MOPS meeting. Yesterday was a MOPS day and I knew we had to get up early and to set up for the meeting.This meant getting everyone up, dressed and fed by 7:45a to go. This is done daily by those that work everyday, and often much earlier. I know this and I feel for you. Not having to do this regularly, it was not easy. Oh yeah, did I mention I had to do this in the dark? 

Just outside our development, a car crashed into a pole which took down the power to around 300 homes. It happened around 1a but I woke around 2a to the sound of beeping and pitch black. You never realize how much electronics light up your life until you don't have the blue and green lights to show the way through a dark house. I stumbled around to find my phone (for time since I had to get up. So much for setting an alarm). The beeping was from a smoke alarm upstairs (I guess we need some 9 Volts around here). And with the hall light off, I knew Nathan would wake up and freak out since he always likes the light on. An hour later he joined me in bed after a minor pitch-dark-freak-out. 

When morning finally came,the lights were still out (as was the heat) it was still kind of dark outside but we had to go. Guess what you can't do in a black out? I may have found my way around the shower, but the hair dryer wasn't going to work! Guess what you can't make on your way out the door with no power? Crap. At least there would be hot coffee at the meeting! Guess what doesn't open without electricity? D'oh! Leo is tall enough to release the latch on the garage door to open it. But we both still have no clue how to lock it once it's closed! 

I was able to get everyone up and dressed. The food came later when I was setting up the room. I put the boys at one of the big tables and set out their cereal and some juice. This was actually a genius idea I may use again - they were so busy eating that I was able to do stuff without them underfoot like usual. 

After set up it was time to drop off the boys in their child care rooms. Leo was saying the other day that Nathan goes fine when he is with Gigi or at school, but sometimes there is a sad look of hesitation. But he marches forward. Then I become even more proud of him as I am reminded of how far he has come. He was just like Benny. Which is to scream, cry, limp-body-no-don't-hand-me-over-to-these-strange-people dance. Ugh. This is typical so I'm getting used to it. But it still sucks. Thank goodness there are women who say just the right thing at the right time which was, "You're doing the right thing." (If you are a mommy reading this, please repeat that to another mommy sometime in the appropriate situation. We like to know there are other soldiers out there!)

Finally I was able to relax. And relax I did. With friends and some socializing. Despite the wacky circumstances we woke up to and pushed through, it was good. And here's the icing. When it was time to get Benny, he had a big smile on his face. He was laughing and having FUN! He reached for me as a happy boy. So happy I almost cried. Just like the first time Nathan turned a corner. Hopefully each visit will get noticeably better instead of incrementally.

So that's the diamond - Benny's smiling face. Not to mention Nathan's excitement when I went to get him too. He made a drawing of our house with a ninja turtle outside. (Obsessed with ninjas!) Maybe they were the ones who fixed our lights. They were on when we came home. 

Birthday Surprise

I wish I could write more than once a month but that seems to be the norm. Sometimes I wonder where the month has gone! This month has been a good one though.

We celebrated moms birthday last weekend (wow, this week flew by). While Mom and Ed were finishing up their two weeks in Florida, Greg and family were driving down from NJ. It was all a surprise, planned for months and carried out perfectly. My mother is a busy lady but the weekend was perfect as they had no plans so were free to enjoy the family.

Friday, before mom and Ed got home, we showed them Pullen Park and the Farmers Market. All the kids did really well while we ate. It helped that they were super hungry and the food came out fast. And hush puppies to munch on while waiting didn't hurt either. That night Uncle Matt came up and we let the kids stay up late for a dance party. I loved that they stayed at our place for lots of time to just be together. We don't always get that on our visits to NY and it's hard to plan when there are kids of various ages involved. (Seriously, getting us all out the door was quite a feat.)

Saturday we had to wait until 12:30 for the guest of honor to arrive. We had Lily open the door for mom where, as mentioned, she stood there in shock and then crumbled into tear of utter joyfulness as she took us all in and realized Ed was in on it too. Just the day before, Mom was sad and missing her grandbabies. Then there was was surrounded by them. (We were so missing Tim and Jen!) We spent the day just hanging out and letting everyone just be. I'm very happy to have the cozy space to be the hostess!

After a taco dinner we watched some videos that the boys and I worked on all year. One was a montage of pictures from moms life. Tim picked a good song and made the room weapy at the first note. The 2nd video was a collection of birthday messages I have been collecting for months. That was really fun and funny - we have some creative people in the family. (I'm creative but I was not one of them. Me and video cameras have a weird relationship.)

Sunday Greg, Danielle, Lily and Julia went to mom and Ed's place for a visit before we met out at Maggiano's for dinner. While Leo and I have been there many times, it was the first time we were all there together since our rehearsal dinner in '07. The kids were pretty good (even though there was little food actually eaten by my boys). We don't go out to eat much because so often we can't enjoy the meal when they are being crazy. But it gets better as they get older. Anyway, we returned to our place for cake and presents. It seemed that the surprises finally came to an end. Mom was thrilled to pieces over the whole weekend. A success!

I hated to see those Keplers leave. I bonded with Julia a little. She is such a cute, content little thing. I was able to feed her a bottle and she fell asleep on me more than once. I'm so happy we got to snuggle. Lily is a pleasure to have around too. Her personality shines through and she and Nathan can really play together now. I made up her own little "bedroom" between the guest room going into the play room. We sectioned off the area with a curtain, put Nathan's old toddler bed in there, hung some things on the wall and end laid down a piece of leftover carpet from the living room. It was the prefect little nook for a perfect little girl.

This week was somewhat quiet compared to the weekend, and a little less fun since we didn't have something so big to look forward to. But it was still good. We watched some friends' kids one night (5 kids running around all at once!). They are good kids and we plan to do a little babysitting swap so Leo and I can get a date night in too. Nathan had asked me "on a date" last week and we finally had the chance to go this week. We went to Brixx for pizza. (He asked for Domino first. Uh, no thank you.) We had a nice time but I'm sure the specialness was somewhat lost on him. Yes, he must have known how cute it was for him to even ask.

Friday is upon us and we have a few things going on here and there. Thanksgiving is upon us and then that Christmas rush. We're looking forward to staying put and enjoying being at home.

Happy Halloween

Leo doesn't leave the house much. But I'm glad for him when he does. He should have time away from this nut house too! I was thinking about how nice it would be to have a quiet evening once I got the boys to bed. I could catch up on blogging, pictures, you know - stuff. Well Nathan is finally asleep but Benny is screaming his head off. Most nights he does well. And really, once both of them are asleep they stay that way. But getting there is tough. They don't want to let go of the day. Benny has a little bit of a lingering cold too. But still, of all the nights . . .

Ah, I hear quiet. And of course Leo just got home.

Anyway, tomorrow is Halloween. Nathan is a pirate this year and Benny...well, we dressed him in his grey Adidas track suit from Christmas last year (that was always said had a gangster look about it), put a "gold chain" around his neck, unzipped the top and drew a curly hair on his chest. He was the cutest mobster ever. That was for some parties over the weekend (Leo went as Bat Dad - look it up, it's funny - and I put on my shiny clothes and devil horns. Sexy Devil of course.) I don't like the dress up part of Halloween. Or Halloween at all really. I just see myself arguing over how much candy the kids should get. Ugh. But we were all able to play the part at least a little to get into the spirit. For me it's about the colors, the leaves, the crisp air . . . the desserts! We are having various people over to trick or treat with of course but I afterwards we'll have some cider and pie. I was thinking warm cider but I hear it's going to be a very mild 78. Better than rain I suppose but hot is not Halloween weather. Oh well. You can have pie in any temperature.

We went to Pullen Park this week. Nathan has been begging to go. Tomorrow maybe we will hit the museum in Durham. It gets hard to fill the days sometimes. I don't mind down days at home but the boys get bored. They have been playing better together lately. Nathan makes his "spaceship" of blankets and pillows and Benny tries to climb under it all too. More and more Nathan will sit in the playroom with his legos and build things. I can hear him from the kitchen, him digging around the giant bins looking for the perfect pieces. And Benny is loving the trains. He makes sounds, pulls tracks apart and then together again, making one long train and trying to keep it together as he pulls it along, not quite understanding why the little magnets aren't quite strong enough. It's fun to watch them both play and figure things out. For a while I thought they would never go off and do things on their own. But they are getting there.

Benny is not yet saying much. I sometimes worry, thinking he should be saying more. He has this way of saying something perfectly once. You turn around to encourage him to say it again and he won't do it. But you know he just said it perfectly! Stinker. But looking back at most motherhood worries, there wasn't much need to worry after all. So we will just keep talking to him like we always do, because he does understand it all, and hopefully her's taking it all in and will spit it all back out at us soon. God knows Nathan doesn't hush most of the time; I'm sure it will be the same with Benny. It's funny to imagine the two of them talking to each other someday. I can't wait to hear those conversations.

The Sweet Mundane Life

So MOPS started for us last month. I may have mentioned that this year I took on kind of a big role. It's working out now but for a while it bummed me out. Our group is growing in numbers again, but the girls that are joining are in a much different place than I am. I'm thinking this is my senior year and I will graduate at the end of it.

Nathan is doing great in preschool. He claims to not want to go but then always has a good time. He comes home with projects, singing new songs and an stamp or fake tattoo on his arm and always lots of sand in his shoes from the sand box where they dig for "treasures". I'd say he's doing just fine there.

This week Nathan had his first Little Kickers Soccer practice. It's only once a week for four weeks but it's good for him to participate, learn to respect other adults and have time just for Daddy and Nathan. And Benny and I get some time together too.

Pop was here last week. They had plenty of time to bond as we went to the beer fest on Saturday (where Leo forgot his ID and Pop had to take a picture of it for him to get in!) and then to see Beauty & The Beast the following Tuesday. Pop watched the boys both nights (or rather, the boys watched Pop sleep that Saturday night. He was a bit tired from the drive down!). Pop helped with some yard work, hung out with me and Benny on my birthday while Nathan was at school, then left to make his way down to Florida for the week. Being retired seems to agree with him.

Did I mention our new living room? The new carpet is still a thrill for me and the long shelf Uncle Matt helped me make is the icing on the cake for me. My autumn decorations look amazing in there. I love it - I finally feel like an adult!

Halloween is fast approaching and as usual Leo and I are dragging our feet on what to dress up as. We were invited to four parties next weekend and costumes are pretty much required. Being that we have kids, we will only go to the two that are kid friendly (boo - the other two sounded really fun!). But if we could go to the adult ones and had to dress up, we decided we would have done with the Dexter theme. Leo in his "kill outfit" of his special shirt, black gloves, rubber apron and long needle. I guess I would have had to be victim #375, wrapped in cellophane, covered in blood. Ew. That doesn't sound fun actually. But it would have been a good idea.

Today is Friday and it feels like a Dance Party kind of night. Margarita's anyone?

Yin & Yang

I love my Benny. He doesn't have a lot of words yet but he sure knows how to get what he wants. His point and grunt routine remains the same but he imitates sounds more often. He has said what sounds like "apple", "woah", "bubble", "yeah" and "doodoo". It's annoying but really kind of interesting to watch him express himself without words. Once he talks I'm sure I won't be able to get him to shut up.

Like Nathan. He will go on for days if you let him. Making up stories. Throwing all sorts of random stuff in there. Including made up words that end in feet, poop or butt. Where do these kids get it? He does have quite an imagination though. He will be a good storyteller someday. When he drops the potty mouth. Or he will keep it and be a comedian.

My current favorite and least favorite part of the day . . . bedtime. Nathan resists as he always has. He wants to make a deal every time. One more this, one more that. Good God child - why aren't you tired?! Whereas Benny is tired and he knows it. We will go into his room with the lights off, play his same CD that we put on at night and he puts his head on my right shoulder. He snuggles and we rock for a while. I love it. One song and I put him down. He either spreads out on his tummy or curls up into his little fetal position and there usually isn't a peep out of him for the most part until morning. When he's not ready, you know it. But really, he is a super star at bedtime. I wonder if he will always be like that. Was Nathan?

Usually the 8-9p hour is the one that breaks me. Bedtime arguing gets the best of me. ~sigh~

No point here. Just reflecting on the differences of the two. The age and the personalities. The way the days feel so long right now. How it feels to think about another round of it tomorrow. Thank goodness for preschool.

Last Visit

Sadly, yet another grandmother has passed on. Leo's Grandma (Babci) died almost two weeks ago, only one day after we came back from our trip to NY. Thankfully, we did visit her for a while. She was very different from the last time we saw her. Being on pain meds and being out of it, she was not her spunky old self (and I'm pretty sure it freaked out Nathan to see her in the wheel chair, with oxygen and not really responsive). Still, we sort of got to say goodbye and give her a kiss one last time. Leo will join the family in celebrating her life next week. As much as I would love to go as well, handling these kids on yet another trip is a little much at the moment. But we will be there in spirit (and pictures!).

Other than the sad goodbye, the NY trip was good. The trip up was a success (no traffic - even in VA. Can't say the same on the return trip.). We were out and about every day. But the first stop (and most important) was meeting Julia. What a sweet little munchkin. Less than 7 pounds when I saw her, she was tinier than either of my boys ever were out of the womb. She is a sweetie pie and I hate that I will miss seeing her all the time as she grows. Lily, of course, is a little angel as well and Nathan and Benny enjoyed time spent together. We went to Lego Land together in Westchester, went swimming and played a bunch at Pop's. Give them a flat piece of grass and they are happy to run.

Leo and I went to my friend Hadas' wedding over the weekend while we were there. The short trek into the Catskills are beautiful and seriously, it was the most breathtaking gorgeous day to be in the mountains. We had time to hang out in the hotel before the wedding (without kids!), then leisurely make our way on the ski lifts on the top of Hunter Mountain where the the wedding took place, right on the edge with amazing vista views. It was weird to be hanging in the sky like that, afraid my high heels might just fall off my feet into the forest below. But if the bride did it, everyone could too. The mixed culture ceremony of Jewish and Indian was interesting and even entertaining. They did a nice job marrying their traditions together. There was down time before the reception as well. We considered it an extended date night. It was so nice to just be. And it went too fast. I would have loved to make use of the pool and hot tub, talk more with my friend and get to know her groom. but they will be moving back to the states next year (they are currently in Africa) and I plan to persuade them to visit. And possibly con them into making an authentic Indian meal. The food at the reception was awesome!

While we were away, the boys were "angels" as they are often called when I'm not around. Stinkers. They were busy in kyacks on the Hudson River, trips to the farm, swimming and playing on Pop's truck. They were very good for Pop and JoJo. That made me very happy and proud.

We caught up with some friends up there as well but of course the time goes fast and there are always others I wish I could have seen. Maybe one summer I will take the boys for a few weeks and visit the places I used to spend time as a kid, like the Adirondacks.

Home, we are already back into school (Nathan) and MOPS (me) and work (me again) and all the other social stuff that fills our calendar. House parties, birthday parties, etc. The weather here is cooling for a few days. We can't wait for open window nights as fall approaches.

Disney Extravaganza

Only days after my last post, an amazing opportunity fell into our laps. Cousins Jeff & Karen had a timeshare they booked but couldn't use in Orlando, Florida and offered the chance to use it for the week. It took a split second for me to yell out to Leo, ask him if we should do this, then respond with a very excited "YES!" Days later we were packing the car.

Looking at the map we saw the resort we would be staying at would be right across the street from Disney. We looked at each other and asked "should we?" It didn't take long to decide. Yes, we should and yes we will!

After much discussion, research and planning, we found ourselves at the Disney Store buying passes for Disney World. Aaaahhhh! We're going to Disney! If only the boys could understand what was about to happen. Nathan, at one point, said the mall rides were much better than Disney. Puuhhleeeze!

Sunday morning we were on our way. We were already tired. I had crammed like I was taking a final (there is so very much to know about Disney before you do it!) and Leo and I had a couple nights where we were up late and awake early, both excited and restless as well - even more so than the kids since we knew what was in store!

After a very long ride (GPS says 8 hours, friends say 10, traffic and rain said 12!). We made it to the Vistana Villages. Unfortunately, it was the wrong resort. But the right one was only a few miles away. The right Vistana welcomed us around 7p and we couldn't be happier. We explored our two-bedroom apartment and made ourselves at home. The 3rd floor was not cool. The jacuzzi in our room was and we made use of it right away. Best. Bubble. Bath. Ever.


Having prepared for the Monday rush, we decided not to do Disney on the first day. This was a good decision but a tough one I admit. I understand why it's so busy at The Magic Kingdom at the start of the week - it's awesome and you can't wait to go! But we did wait and did Hollywood Studios instead. Making use of the wonderful Fast Pass (FP) system, we got tickets for rides we would get on later and went to enjoy another side of the park.

First up, Star Tours. I knew this would be a great way to set up the day. Leo and Nathan went on the Star Wars ride together and when they got out, Nathan and I went again. Having arrived before the parks official opening time allowed us the run of the place for the first hour. This was awesome!

We went on rides, saw some shows and signed up Nathan for Jedi Academy. Imagine how proud Leo was. Except that Nathan was too shy and didn't go through with it. The show was still cool but we were a little let down Nathan did not want to train to fight against the dark side. A favorite of Benny's was Disney Jr Live - a puppet show with all the characters you see on Disney Jr these days. Benny stood up, pointed and grunted in his own excited way to show us he recognized Mickey, Donald, Doc and Jake. I loved seeing his little face light up. We weren't sure how much he would "get". His favorite part in this and every show that had it was the bubbles that fell from the ceiling.

We took an afternoon break where we thought we could all get some rest. NOT! "Vacation" with kids is no joke. Thinking you will relax ever, is. We hung around a while before returning and doing a couple things we missed earlier in the day. I was really looking forward to seeing the animation section. I remember this the best from a childhood trip. 20 years ago they were still drawing by hand and using the studios as actual studios. I wish I could remember what they were drawing then. I do remember how fascinated I was by the process and how it stirred my creative side. I desperately wanted to work for Disney. For a long time I really wanted to be an animator. Fast forward all these years later. It's all computerized and probably located in CA. No more animation rooms. This was a disappointing reality after having such strong, fond memories. I wonder if it's too late to get a job with Pixar?

We stayed late for the 9p showing of Fantasmic - a light/ water/ character show. It's a mishmosh of story lines and pyrotechnics. Entertaining,

but ridiculous that you really have to be in there by 8:15 to sit (with wiggling tired kids). We left early to beat the crowd and it was a good choice to make. The first day was long and we were pooped.

Tuesday we took it easy and discovered one of the many pools in the resort. It had a slide and a baby pool and lots of other little kids. Benny napped on Mommy (again - the whole time when he was tired he fussed until he just dropped on whoever was holding him) and Nathan made new friends (again - he seems to meet new people everywhere and every day!).

After a slow afternoon we went to Sea Dog, a new restaurant and brewery up the road. The drinks were good and cheap ($2.50 happy hour drafts
!) and the food really delicious. Wish we had one in Raleigh. We then headed over to cousin Jeannine's house for a little visit. She took us to her local park for a while where the kids ran it off some more and met another friend or two. The boys made use of all of Jeannine's musical instruments and made themselves at home. Nathan taught her how to be Iron Man.

Wednesday morning went well. After the trial of the first park day we knew what to do. The Magic Kingdom, of course is a whole other ballgame. There is so much involved in getting there just from the parking lot. But this is the day when all the tips came in handy, from which monorail to take to which FP to get. We followed my plan for the most part and despite what you might think, it was fun fun fun! We tackled Tomorrowland first and did space stuff (Buzz and Astro Orbiter) then went into Fantasyland for the tamer and popular kid-stuff - Small World and Peter Pan. By noon we were on our 8th ride. This is a big deal at the height of summer heat and tourists. We powered through, saw the show going on at the castle (Princesses and all the favorites!) and did a little in Adventureland before calling it a day. On our way out, we ran into the afternoon parade. We considered not staying to watch but once it began it was hard not to watch. I for one, was not all that romanced by the characters and parades. But at Disney it's different. I wanted the kids to see them all up close and personal. We watched the whole thing before leaving for the day
. I made dinner at our place and we enjoyed a quiet family night in. I love that we were able to do this together instead of going out for every meal. This made it feel right.

Thursday we got up to do much the same as the day before, only we went to the other side of the park. We planned to do Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain but the first was closed and stayed that way all day, sadly. But, Nathan loved Splash Mountain and he and Leo went on it again later in the day (thank you FP!). Actually, we spent much of the day doing some things over again - Tea Cups and Winnie the Pooh. I was worried Benny wouldn't like Pirates of the Caribbean but as we were walking out he was singing to himself in his own Benny way. We recorded it to remember how he makes up his own sounds, yet we know exactly what he is singing.

By the end of another hot day, we took it all in knowing this would be the last of Cinderella Castle for us. I wasn't ready. We lingered in stores, got a frozen lemonade and then begged Daddy to let us stay for the parade again. We popped a squat in the front of Main Street USA and waited. It was worth the sizzling heat of the sidewalks under our behinds. The parade walked right in front of us and so many of the characters stopped and reached out to Benny. With that face, how could you not? Both boys were mesmerized by the experienced. I was touched too. It was a perfect way to end the day there.

While we considered going back for the electrical parade and fireworks, the late timing of it, the afternoon rains and how exhausted we all were, we knew we would have to do that the next time we came back to Disney.

Friday, the final park day, we decided on Animal Kingdom. This day, by far, felt the hottest in the morning. There were no clouds in sight. Just people. Having missed Thunder Mountain, Leo snuck away to ride Everest, a big fast roller coaster we knew Nathan might not be ready for. Leo loved it. We went on a safari ride and saw amazing animals; a bird show; a Lion King show; Nemo The Musical. Characters were everywhere in this park as well. There was a short wait to see Mickey and Minnie and we hadn't spent time doing it before so we decided this was the time. Benny was sleeping on my shoulder and I was afraid she would miss it but just as we were getting ready for the picture, he woke up to see Minnie in his face. He was surprised and delighted. It was my favorite moment.

Before we knew it, the afternoon parade was coming through. This was the longest day but it went by fast. We found a shady spot to wait and there were some activities set up for the kids. They even got little certificates for their participation.

Saturday was pool day. We explored the very awesome pool that had splash fountains and shallow areas for the kids, and a waterfall in the deep end. As always, Nathan made friends and shared a raft with someone else. Here is the time I would have loved to veg out in a chair with a book and get lost. Alas, the kids made that difficult. Later we visited Downtown Disney. The Lego store is worth the trip and we got a few little things as reminders of the trip. Though I don't know how we could forget it. We had such a great time.

Aunt Dot, Uncle Rich and Jeannine came by in the late afternoon. It was so nice for everyone to come visit. Cousin Steve made the effort earlier in the week too. Everyone is so busy but really wanted to see us. It made me so happy! I wish we could have seen the rest of the people we know in the area. I guess next time?!

Sundays drive went better on the return trip. We were so eager to be home we left before the sun rose, and as we got close to home, made Nathan pee in a cup instead of stopping. This made him giggle, especially when he got it on my hand. At that point, I would have done anything to make him giggle. They handled the ride well but it's a long time to be in the car. I just want to see my boys laughing.

And then back to the real world. Doctors appointments and other commitments are on the calendar, as well as laundry and food shopping and mail sorting. Going away with kids was work but the reward of their faces was worth it. Even if they don't remember it all, Leo and I won't soon forget.