Growing, reaching, learning, changing

I am always at odds with what to do with my time since MY time is so limited. But stopping to record what is going on with the boys is essential. They are growing and changing at lightening speed. I fear I may have already missed recording some things that we will never get back!

Benny. Oh that Benny. I can never get tired of looking at his cute little face. Or watching him toddle around. He is a full time walker now and he moves very quickly. I move him from trouble in one area and before I know it he is behind me making more. He reaches up high to feel around for things on the kitchen table. He grabs across the ends of the couch to the side tables for drinks, remotes, phones, magazines or whatever is there. He climbs like Nathan always has. Over pillows, under toys, through the legs of the tables and chairs. He discovered he can move things! He will climb up under the legs of the bar stools in the kitchen and move them around. He pushed a chair across the kitchen floor just because he can. And he does it all with a big proud grin.

He makes sounds. The latest is "weee". Actually is just sounds like "we" but he seems to do it in appropriate places like going down the slide or climbing down the bed. He will play with a truck or plane and move it around appropriately making noises along with it. Given a paper towel, he will "wipe" the floor with it. Push a broom across the room. Put the tops on containers. Blocks back in the box.

He is very excited to do the things Nathan does too. He eats like a big boy, often using a fork or spoon or at least trying to. Drinking from big boy cups. Last night he got his own "go-gurt" (frozen yogurt you eat like an icee) and he was so proud to walk around sucking on that thing like his big brother.

Benny has been a good sleeper and will more and more take longer naps. Not everyday but there are some good nap days and they are great! We love a happy Benny after a nap!

Nathan continues to run circles around us all. Literally. The kid doesn't sit still. But he does have his wonderful moments too of course. Even though he is already the big boy, he wants to do everything as an even bigger boy would. Helping put away dishes, and bringing the step stool to the counter to "help cook" (which Benny happily climbs up right after him!). He helps to pat Benny's back when going to sleep. He will whisper like we do, "go to sleep, it's ok, put your head down sweetie."

He proudly brings home masterpieces from school ("I made this for you Mommy!") and is slowly writing his letters. His drawings are becoming more recognizable and I can officially declare him a lefty like his Mommy.

The things he says are what cracks us up daily. He yelled out to Gigi and Grandpa one day, "Ok, bye, take care!" (What little kid says take care?), and then followed it up with "I love you more than a garbage can!" Uh, ok. He attempts to use big words all the time still and says them over and over to make sure he's getting it right. "Did I say it right?" And his recall is still amazing. He was singing Ghostbusters the other day and Leo and I couldn't remember the last time we had played the song for him. Yet he knew the words from whenever that was.

Aside from the everyday growing, learning, changing and causing trouble at home, we have had a couple fun outings too. The circus was in town and it seems like every year I wanted to take Nathan, something else was going on (which sounds odd as he hasn't been on this earth for that many years but it seems like he has been!). I finally took him, just me and Nathan. I had to get him excited by watching You Tube videos of it first and then he seemed to "get it." He liked the animals and the motorcycles that ride round and round in the "ball of steel!" It was a fun time for just the two of us even if he did get antsy towards the end. The following week Leo took Nathan to a hockey game at the same arena. They were last minute free tickets and even though it was Valentines Day I told them to go. I ended up having some time to myself anyway after Benny went to sleep so it was a win-win for everyone. It sounded like they both had fun and once he warmed up to what was going on, he won the fellow game-goers over with his "Let's go Canes" chant. Anywhere he can stand up on the chairs and yell at the top of his lungs ranks high up on the list of cool stuff to do.

Which reminds me; according to Nathan, Daddy is more fun than Mommy. But he loves Mommy the most. I guess I can settle for that.

Remote

Here's a tip - do not purchase a childs' toy that can only work with a remote. The remote will be lost, rendering the toy useless. We bought Nathan a light up moon for his bedroom wall. It lights up at different phases and it's super cute for our little astronaut. He was using it one night and then a mere 24 hours later the remote disappeared. I don't need to explain the scene a typical tired almost-four-year-old out on when we couldn't find the remote. Daddy gave in to looking for it although I was all about the take-care-of-your-stuff lesson. It doesn't seem possible the thing was not in the room anywhere unless it walked away (meaning it was walked away by curious one-year-old). Either way, it was found. A day later. When I happen to be laying on the floor in the living room and I happened to spot it  under the couch. I'm thinking Velcro or glue is the answer here.

Benny has been cranky this week. The loss of a feeding, the gaining of teeth, growing pains....I don't know. It's being more usual to see him this way rather than happy all the time. He is starting to throw himself on the ground in little fits here and there, he gets mad when you take things from him and of course he is unhappy when he sees mommy leave the room. He has had some trouble eating lately too - again, possibly because of the change in some feeding patterns around here. Hopefully this will settle soon. He continues to sleep well and walk all over the place. And he really misses his brother when they are not together!

Nathan is his usual wacky self. I worry he is getting pickier by the day in the food department. (Oh no!) But I continue to introduce new foods and then bribe him into eating them. I fear I have already done the damage and given into chicken nuggets one too many times. Before I know it I will be eating sushi alone and my three guys will happily be slurping down past and bread at every meal. Sigh. At least it's delicious homemade bread I guess . . .

I made another loaf today, meant to resemble regular white sandwich bread. It is awesome.

For Nathan's birthday weekend we are going to Virginia. Cousin Jill is expecting her first and instead of an all girls event, it will be a whole family shin dig. We can't wait to celebrate and party with the family. I have to figure out a way to make it special for Nathan too. Maybe decorate our hotel room?!

What's next? Not much. Leo and I discussed an adult-only beer fest in the Spring. A no-kid event?! Yes! More details to follow . . .

Shorts, Snow, Hot water, Road Trips & Pancakes

Let's talk about the weather. Blogs aren't really for that but the weather here has been so wacky it's worth mentioning. About two weeks ago it was so warm on a Sunday I had shorts on. It was in the high 70's and it was necessary (although awkward with pale legs that are very used to jeans and boots these days!). A week later, we has snow. Snow! It was barely an inch but it was a dazzling sight to watch at night and we enjoyed it with fresh homemade bread (more on that later) and wine. A fire going would have been perfect. In the morning there was barely a cover of it left behind but still. Snow is a big deal around here so you enjoy what you get. I feel like we should pretend every day is like a snow day. Even though it may not be filled with anything special all the time, we should take advantage of it like that. A rare gift.

Anyway, let me tell you about this bread. A gift also, but not a rare one. In fact, I plan to have the dough made up and ready most of the time because it's that good. A friend of mine (who I speak of often because she inspires me daily to try new and amazing things!) has a book about baking bread and offered it to me. Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. No joke. This is a great book. I made it last week when we were expecting snow, like I said, and it was a nice treat. Leo often asks me to get bread at the store but now I won't be getting it at Teeter. I will be making it often at home. It's cheap, easy and fresh! If Leo says it's good I'm going to stick with it. It's hard to make him happy in the kitchen.

Bread also makes a great offering to your neighbors when you have to beg for a hot shower. That was the case last week. On a Friday night at 5p, on a holiday weekend (of course), Leo noticed the water heater leaking in the garage. Not dripping but leaking. Awesome. The water was still hot but we weren't sure if we should keep the water on still or what. Unsure, we turned it all off and gradually tried to empty the tank over the next day or so. Long story short, the repair guy didn't come until Monday and $1000 later we got a new one installed Tuesday morning. We are lucky to have amazing neighbors that don't mind a knock on the door, towel in hand, fresh bread in the other, asking for a hot shower.

This hot water dilemma wasn't so bad as it didn't affect Nathan. Over the weekend, Gigi was going to take him for an overnight. Last minute, a trip to NY had to happen to get Teddy (I'll explain later) and Gigi asked if Nathan would like to come too. I wasn't sure what to think of this at first. My baby away from me for several days, in the car for long hours . . .  Well what the heck! When I told some friends about this adventure they mostly said they would be nervous and worried about it. I admitted I was too. But I'm glad we went for the opportunity. Not just to have a few days break from our oh-so-lovely almost-four-year-old (I say with motherly love and sarcasm), but because it was really good for him. There are a few things I know for sure about Nathan. He likes new places, people, being outside, having attention, and adventure. He got all this and more on his quick trip to NY. They left early Monday and returned Wednesday evening. And it seems they packed a lot in the very short trip. He saw his cousin Lily (his favorite part of the trip, btw), played with dogs, got to ride in a UTV, went shopping for shoes and a winter jacket, picked out gifts for Benny, went to McDonalds more than once I'm sure, painted, saw lots of various people and had macaroni and cheese at every  meal (apparently). The kid didn't stop and it sounds like he did a great at going with the flow. I'm so proud of him. My little road warrior. I hear he only wet the bed once and cried for mommy once too. But for several night away from us, at barely four years old, he was a stellar travel companion.

Now, Teddy is a Shih tzu/ Poodle mix (yes a shih poo. Sounds like shit poo!) and he belonged to Ed's mother. While she is relocating to a different home, her dogs had to be redistributed and so Gigi and Grandpa are now dog owners! Teddy is six years old and actually very cute. He's very calm and well behaved and Nathan just loves him. I'm totally not a dog-lover at all, but I have to say, Teddy is a lovable little guy. It will be fun to visit him up at Gigi's house. I think Benny will get a kick out of him too since they are the same size!

Speaking of Benny, his birthday is days away and while we planned to have a small affair for his birthday we apparently have a guest list of 29. Seems we are incapable of having small parties. So for my next feat, I will product hot pancakes for 18 adults and 15 children. We are having a "pancake bar", something I thought of myself and am quite unsure but proud of. We will be decorating and baking the next two days away. I think it will be nice little celebration for our one year old. I was thinking "keep it simple, he won't remember anyway." But I will. And it's a special day. And like I said, we have to make everyday special to make note of the gift that it is.

27 Days

My little Benny will be a  year old in 27 days. How did this happen? Right now he is almost a walker and a very fast crawler in the meantime. He can do stairs up with ease (though his understanding of gravity is nil). He can clap and do high fives and he did a few kisses last night that tickled me pink. But above all he loves his mama. A lot! He's going through that lovely stage of separation anxiety and he must be in my arms at all times if he can see, hear or smell me. As sweet as it is, it is not convenient. I can do a lot of things with one hand but not all. He does not care. He must be with mommy.

His fifth tooth is in and his hair is coming in too. He still has two naps a day and sleeps all night. These are uninteresting and ephemeral facts. But when I snuggle Benny and think about Nathan - cherishing one while thinking about what he will become - I fear I will forget what it's like. Milestones. Smiles. Messes. Firsts. Although I don't want more babies, even I can admit it's sad to think about how my baby isn't a baby anymore. The time is so fleeting.

White Christmas

Nine hours is better than 13 hours. At least when it comes to being in the car. So in that respect, the ride home from our NY trip was way better than our trip up. But Christmas with family is 13 times better than Christmas without. Thus, the trip was worth it.

Since our trips, especially as a family, are fewer we decided to make it a long week in NY for the holiday. We had plenty of time to just . . . be. There was little running around from house to house. I had enough of that from my younger years. And it's no fun with kids anyway so we stayed put. We even snuck in a night out with Matt, Joey and some old friends and a quick drink in Nyack.

Christmas Eve has always been my favorite night. We used to go out to dinner with Dad and Jo and brothers but there are way too many of us now. And kids . . .  well, you know. So we stay in. We eat. A lot. And we watch The Muppet Family Christmas. It was nice. But I have to say - it's changed. We have the old traditions but new ones are edging in. Those kids. . . . ! Binkers, our 'elf', found his way to NY. He "ka-poofed" there you know. He hid all over the house. We wrote him and Santa notes (and 'Santa' wrote one back! Thanks Uncle Tim!). And in the morning, instead of hanging out and taking our time as we had over the past few years as us kids have gotten older, we are once again back to rising early and waking everyone else up so we can hurry up and open gifts. With Nathan being old enough for the excitement, we have come full circle. Although Tim and Jen weren't there for our usual Christmas Eve festivities, they made sure to be there for the morning ones. And really, that was the fun part; To see the Nathan marvel at all the presents (so many of which were for him) and Benny to have a ball in all that wrapping paper. Although we don't have the same surprises as when we were young (when we came home from dinner the gifts would all magically be there under the tree and this time I actually saw Joanne go up and down the stairs making the "delivery") the small touches were still there. Small gifts sat on the table at dinner and breakfast, Secret Santa between the siblings (in person instead of Skype!) and even the Muppets (Ok, I missed this showing but Benny was sleeping so I had a small opportunity to shower.) I don't know how many Christmas's we will have at my Dads house, with the siblings, in NY. There are so many variables as our families grow and we slowly move apart. Who knows when we will all be together again.

For Christmas Day, after our morning with one side, we went to the Martins. Mom and Ed were there too and it was nice to celebrate with my fake in-laws. They may as well be a real part of our family though as we have known them for so long. Nathan and Lily loved running around some more - they really seemed to enjoy each others company this time around.

Wednesday we went down to Greg and Danielle's in NJ for more family time and pizza. More kid time! It would be nice to have had a little more down time; for me watching or holding Benny is exhausting and never-ending. He has been super whinny lately - due to teething, mommy-separation or both, I don't know. But I got some great shots of those kids playing. It started to snow and we had to cut our time short. Unfortunately we still waited too long. Our ride home was long and dangerous. Two hours instead of 30 minutes  The up side - the boys slept most of the way. Thank goodness!

The other upside - SNOW! It snowed Christmas Eve but that was a mere covering compared to the couple of inches we had that night. Aside from the presents, and playing with Lily, Nathan really loved playing in the snow. Leo, Uncle Joey and Nathan played for over an hour making huge snow people. It rained overnight and ruined what could have been another day of snow play. But it was special to get as much as we did this time around. It's almost enough to make us come back every year - if only snow on Christmas was a guarantee.

The rest of the week we played with our new toys and just hung out at Pops house. We went by the river to play and enjoyed a quick visit with Nanni and Aunt Ruth. Also, we adults had to mentally prepare for the ride home. Leo and I were stressed about it. We heard other reports that Friday traffic was bad and Saturday more snow was supposed to fall. The solution was a 4:20am wakeup. It was not fun but the result was the shorter drive and being home by 3p. A worthy sacrifice.

This weekend we had another mini Christmas (in addition to the one we had just before we left for NY too with Gigi and Grandpa!). Grandpa Truck, Babci, Kerri and kids came over for a while to play, exchange gifts and have dinner. I'm so thankful Nathan has his cousins. He just loves them. And so another mini-Christmas has been wrapped up. Today is a bit of a work day but a light one I think since New Years Eve is also upon us. No parties for us parents this year. We will settle for some good old-fashioned family time on the couch waiting for the ball to drop. I hope I can stay awake that long after such a busy week.

Truly

Things I truly enjoy: 
Christmas cards. The picture ones especially. It's cool when people who don't do pictures send cards too. But man do I love seeing new little faces each year. And people seem to enjoy ours too. Our list gets longer every year so I keep thinking, "maybe this year we will skip it." But you know me. I'll never skip a chance to challenge my creativity (and patience) when it comes to thinking up something new and showing off my boys.
My Nathan singing. Today his school did a little "pageant" of sorts. The different classes had cute little head pieces on and sang. Nathan's class were angels. It was nice to hear all the songs he has been singing over the last few weeks. There really is a song that goes, "We fish you a merry ChristMoose and a hoppy new year." I thought he was making it up.
Christmas Shopping. This one is a double-edged sword. I don't like the pressure and uncertainty and lines of shopping. But I love the idea that I have the chance to find something perfect to make someone smile. I was pretty much done but realized there were just a few more people we had to acknowledge this time of year. And my sweet little Benny is cute enough to make all the store employees oogle over him and make him smile so we can get through it. And it doesn't hurt that there are crazy deals all over the place to make me feel less guilty over a little something for me here and there.
Christmas Cookies. I got together with friends over the weekend and we each made cookies and then did a little exchanging so we all had different types to go home with. I was beginning to feel left out of the all the cookie making going on up in NY. Between Nannie and TJ I was having crazy cookie envy!
Holiday Gatherings. We went to Leo's work one last night and had a great time with a fun group of people. I even beat Leo at bowling. Yes, he was angry at the Jets and that he was having bowling ball malfunctions but still. I will take the win. This week we have a mini Christmas coming up and then smattering of more to come in the week ahead.

Things that truly make me sad: 
Having awful things happen in the world, especially this time of year, especially to children. I think about the kids that were lost last week in CT and I have to stop immediately. It makes me so unbearably sad. I thought about it when I was taking pictures of Nathan and all those kids singing today and I almost lost it. I won't watch the news. I want to know details but the funerals happening are too much. It's just too much and too scary.

So instead I'll just keep the other things in mind. There are so very many things that make me truly happy.

Something Special

I wish you could see Benny right now. Well, right this minute he is sleeping. I mean right now in his development. He is awake and aware in ways that remind us he is no longer a baby but a toddler-to-be in many ways. He knows his name and he is starting to know "no" too. Well, when we say it he doesn't actually stop what he's doing. Actually he looks at us, smiles and goes back to doing it again. What a little devil. He can stand for pretty long periods without falling and takes a step or two if he feels like it. When we want him to show off his skills is when his legs turn to jelly of course or he goes stiff and just falls forward or (real fun) backwards. He giggles a lot, seemingly at nothing. He plays well as long as there's lots to keep him busy (plastic containers, metal bowls, trucks, and whatever miscellany he can find on Nathan's bedroom floor - sometimes even legos. Eeeck!). Benny enjoys bath time, eating (Cheerios, goldfish crackers and pancakes!), and his big brother. He follows Nathan around as fast as his little crawl allows (which is pretty fast) and wants to do all that his brother does. I often see the two of them hanging over the side of the toy box digging through it. I love that they are just about there - where they can enjoy each others' company. It occurred to me today that soon they will be causing trouble together too, but hopefully the conspiracy years will wait a while longer.

Leo and I were talking about how Nathan was such a good dancer from a very young age. He had quite a beat going whenever music was played at this age. Benny doesn't seem to have the same gene. Funny how these little things are different. I can't wait to see how else they differ or turn out the same. But Benny's thing seems to be peek a boo. He appeared to play it with Leo months ago and he continues to enjoy it now. Playing with my mom's scarf, the two of them played for a while the other day. She would put it on his head and he would pull it off his face. Then he would pick it up and try to put it up to her face as if to say "your turn to hide." It's always so amazing to see these connections being made for the first time indicating understanding and personality. I never get tired of these new discoveries.

And Nathan. He is a trip too of course. He spent a night at Gigi and Grandpa's and his report card was perfect as usual. At home he seems to have trouble sitting on chairs. Yes, he literally falls of his chair or bench daily. Thinking about it sounds pretty funny actually. But it's annoying when we just need the kid to sit still and eat his damn meal. I asked if he did this at Gigi's. No, of course not. They baked cookies and cleaned and decorated a tree. With Nathan, I wondered?! His attention span is the size of a postage stamp with me. But in the presence of someone else, perhaps a special someone else, he does as he's told. He keeps up, behaves and has a lot of fun. He entertains too.They said he knew all about how sap comes from trees to make maple syrup. Nathan has all sorts of facts stored up there in that brain. Turns out her learned that from Curious George and he was able to recall it at just the right time. Amazing!

I'm proud of my boys. They drive me batty but they really are something special.