Point & Grunt

Benny does the cutest things these days. Although we feel like he is behind where Nathan was at this age (at least with talking) he is catching on to other things quickly. He manages to communicate his needs despite his lack of words. His pointing/ pulling/ directing in some fashion gets you in the right room. His more annoying grunts gets his point across - for the most part. He copies Nathan's every move - from climbing on every surface and jumping off, to running around with arms outstretched "flying", to holding on to the outside of the stair rails and using the steps to ascend. Awesome. Not. It's scary to watch that little body make such big boy maneuvers, but it's also good to see that he can handle more and more of the world and it's obstacles. After all, he is no longer a baby. He is suddenly a year and a half (about) and is very much aware of that fact.

Our favorite game of late: he will be between me and Leo and alternately run into a hug or kiss between the two of us. Of course I love this one. I will have to force it out of him someday. Also, we know he knows how to do things (high-five, fist bump including 'blow it up', blow kiss, etc). But when he doesn't feel like it, or just wants to get a reaction, he will shake his head no and giggle when asked repeatedly. The key is repeatedly. Everything is over and over until you think of a different way to entertain him. This is usual for kids but still exhausting!

When we was a baby, he was a good sleeper, as in when he was asleep, we would put him down and that was it. He's always been good through the night but at some point he wasn't so great about just going to sleep when it was time, and so we went through the horrible (but effective) cry it out stage. From about six months on, he would cry when put to sleep. For months! Then, it slowly changed and it would be a little less, then it was only a few minutes or no crying at all. Hooray! Recently though he too has realized he is becoming more a kid and less a baby. He started crying again at bedtime. Ugh. It's normal at this age and I vaguely remember Nathan doing it too. But it's still painful. Then, before you know it you turn another corner. Just now in fact, we went to his room to change him (without pointing you can tell him what's next - 'bath' or 'change' and he will lead the way). I closed the door, turned off the lights and put on his music. After a moment, he looked at me and pointed to his bed. I put him in and he snuggled right up, ready and willing for nap time. Hallelujah! All the little things over time have paid off. He knows the ques and he practically asked to go to bed. We are doing something right!

Nathan is proof we have been doing ok too of course. He is as bright and funny as ever. And head strong and independent as ever. He has been testing out his place in the world, trying to make deals with us as we do with him ("If I finish my beans and take one more bite of chicken I get dessert, ok mom?") He tries and even sometimes comes up with decent compromises. But mostly, they come out as angry attempts to control things when they aren't going his way. He even boldly shouted to me, "I'm not going to bed early because that's not the way the world works!" Oh my. My words come back at me full speed but from a four-year-olds attempt to get out of punishment. Sorry, buddy, that definitely isn't the way the world works. But nice try. It gets harder to keep him in line as he tries to push back on every front, but we just have to become more consistent at discipline while still taking into account he's a smart kid with feelings and he's taking in every detail of how human interaction works. You can't yell at a kid in frustration and not expect him to yell back at you later on in the way he's just been taught. We're learning every day.

Nathan's funniest thing is he loves to dress us. When we are at a friends house, if there is dress up things - masks, play outfits, boots, helmets, knee pads, etc, he is in them. We went to Marbles not long ago and they have lots of little areas for dress up. He spent lots of a time as a doctor, then a fireman. I almost couldn't find him underneath the coat and hat. I love his sense of make believe and pretend play. He gets better at making up ways to spend time. It's finally translating into less TV time which is knows we are trying to spend less time doing. Also, Benny and Nathan are playing together. Another Hallelujah moment! Even though their play results in giant messes (blocks, under cabinet tupperware, pillows and blankets, books, etc), they pass the time easier these days when they are together. Organized activities are less successful: they are on such different planes still that number and letter practicing for one equals marker on the wall for the other. But still, we are making some progress as a family unit. It's hard to keep things interesting, fun and productive for four different individuals. Today is a bad example of cohesiveness. Mommy and Daddy want to veg and the boys simply don't do much of that - so we are all in different parts of the house doing our own thing. On the other hand, how cool is that?!

Summer Calendar

At the start of summer I didn't have too much planned. I was thinking about how summers are supposed to be - you are off from school and it's just time to hang around and play. But Nathan only went to school a few days a week last year so that doesn't change things much just yet. My weekends and week days flow into one another, so seasons of course follow suit, so that doesn't change over the summer. And our kids are young yet so no matter where we are we are just playing. So how did I think summer would be different? How did I think I could get away without planning anything?! I envisioned lazy days. But guess what? That doesn't always work so well with little ones. Just one unplanned day at home can remind a mother that getting out and doing something will almost always result in a better day with kids! So before I knew it I was urgently filling up the calendar.

Nathan's summer camp sessions went well. There were tears for a few of the days, even though we were going to his school that he already knows (and even some familiar classmates). But he got over it quickly and I count that as another little hump we got over - leaving him someplace without mommy (we will have many of this type of milestone in the years to come. A tough one for everyone but necessary and worth the tears.) We have spent time at the Museum of Life & Science, Marbles and various friends houses. The Mommy & Me Book Club has been a fun addition too. I hosted one today, the theme of course being July 4th. The book reading part wasn't spectacular (for a room full of kids age 1 - 5, you can't expect much), but the theme-y crafts and snacks were appreciated. We have gotten in a bit of pool time too - around all the crazy rain. Every day there has been some combination of storm, or random midday rainfall followed by sudden sunshine. It's weird.

Nathan and Benny spent a night at Gigi and Grandpa's house so Leo and I could have a date night. It was Benny's first time without either one of us. I had to sneak out so he wouldn't freak out, so I hated to leave without last snuggles. But he did fine. In fact he seemed to not really miss me until morning. We went out to dinner, browsed through Barnes & Noble like we used to do pre-kids, and went to a movie, then slept in the next day. A wonderful time for everyone!

Grandpa Truck is here for a few weeks. We already had a cousin sleep over (coupled with poke night at the same time. Smart? Not sure . . . ) Logan turned four and we went to his birthday party last weekend. Thankfully it was not over 100 degrees like last year, but NC humidity is no joke. I'm sure there will be another cousin play date coming up in the weeks ahead - probably involving the pool.

I dove into a new business at the start of June. That has been fun, fascinating and profitable! I am getting connected with old friends and meeting new people every day. I didn't know I needed something like this - something for me, something that will make a difference in people's lives. But I did! And I didn't think I had time for it either. But it's fitting into my life rather well. I also signed up to be the Hospitality Coordinator for the MOPS group I'm involved in. I'm shaking in my boots a little bit about that role. It involves a lot of summer planning and getting ready for the bi-monthly meetings starting in September. I have some time and I know I will have help, but I'm still wrapping my head around all the duties involved. I'm thinking Nature's Pearl will have to be tucked in there somehow too, to make the most of my time. Girls nights and book clubs are always on the calendar too. My girls are so much fun and so important to me - when I don't get to see them I really do miss the social time.

We have a couple trips planned - but not the traditional summer ones most are taking.
I am going away for a training in Charleston for Nature's Pearl. Then we are all going to NY in August to meet Baby Kepler #2 (I can't wait to meet her!).

Looking at my calendar I'm quite amazed I even had time to type this as our lives are so full and busy! Thankfully, a friend offered to take Nathan to play this afternoon and Benny is taking a marathon nap today. Whew... I needed the break!

Tomorrow we will celebrate the holidays at a friends house and possibly fireworks. We'll see if the rain and /or humidity continu
es to curb plans. That's summer for you.

Summer Days

You know what's cool about Spring in NC? Strawberries. We missed going last year but we made it out this year with friends. Benny was so cute. He just wanted to eat them - just like Nathan's first time. I learned though - bring wet wipes with you!

Nathan finished up his first year of preschool. He had a great time and has a lot of fun projects to show for it. He is doing a couple weeks of summer camp at his school too. Then, on to three days next year. Then there is "graduation' before heading of to Kindergarten. This is, by the way, stupid. I'm sure I will gush over how cute they are in mini caps and gowns. But really, it's dumb and makes actual hard-earned graduations less special. So you know how I really feel.

We had the Koker boys here overnight. They all played well together as always (they love the play room), ate well and (for the most part) slept well. I was worried Patrick would be the one to keep us up but it was the older boys who had to pee or just couldn't sleep or whatever. Other than that, no drama. Just fun playing.

The next day we took a drive down to Leland/ Wilmington for a visit to Nonni & Poppi's for an overdue visit. We spent the afternoon at the pool - a lovely day to do so. Nonni is a pool monitor there part time. (A nice way to spend time making money!) The next morning looked a little bleak so we visited the Battleship. We had been talking about going forever. This was a perfect time to go. Nathan had a great time checking everything out (after taking a spill down the first set of stairs. Oops!). It was a fun tour I'm glad we went on. The sun came out eventually and we took the short ride over to downtown Wilmington for lunch. The boys were worn out and slept the whole ride home. Memorial Day was a lazy one. A welcomed one.

Other than the few weeks of camp, the days of summer are stretched out long before us. The pool opened weeks ago and we have already been a few times. Nathan loves it. Benny not so much. This one will take time to get right. For all the prep to get there I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. By summers' end I'm sure we will have a good system and everyone will enjoy it. That is the hope. We went to the museum last week, which I'm sure we'll do several times a month at least. And then friends' pools of course to mix things up. Then there are the other days when we're not quite sure what to do. Mommy's going to have to get real creative a motivated. . . .

My MOPS year ended too and we finished up with a nice dinner at a friends house. But the MOPS stuff doesn't end. I have signed up to be Hospitality Coordinator for next year which means I oversee the setup for each of the meetings. I'm not sure how I got myself into that role but the group has been so wonderful for me that I had to step up to make sure it was just as great for the next mommies to come along. It will be interesting since both boys really don't like being in the child care there. Another thing they will just have to get used to.

As if I didn't have enough on my plate I also signed myself up with Nature's Pearl (https://www.naturespearlproducts.com/jentrend). They offer all sorts of products using Muscadine Seed Extract, a super antioxidant that reduces inflammation - the root of all disease! (Google it. Interesting stuff.) This sounds involved and he products do wonderful things, for every person, sick or not. So I'm on board to spread the word and build a little something for myself on the side. I gotta wake up this mommy brain somehow so it doesn't get too mushy.

Looking forward to playdates, a trip to the Zoo, and even a Mommy and Me Book Club. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself for having some downtime in the afternoons. We have a full calendar.

Project Girl

For the most part, I live for projects. They keep me looking forward to something, keep my creative wheels spinning, and give us all something to do to break up the days and make our lives better in some way. The saying "when it rains, it pours" is true in all aspects of life including projects!

We got new countertops last month and a new backsplash was installed last week. These were fun
items I didn't really expect for a long time but things are going well so Leo gave me the ok. Picking out the stone for the counters was a breeze (Leo and I are often in sync when  it comes to design decisions  but the tile for the back was a little more complicated.  But that's part of the fun, right? Thinking of new ideas and overcoming the challenges to get you to a new place. We were short a few last pieces but they should be in soon and then the project will be complete. With the new sink and faucet, the room looks wonderful and I love being in there. Good thing since I'm in the kitchen half the day.

In the living room I had made some new doors to cover up a built in shelving area where we store our junk. Shoes, hats, flash lights, etc. I was sick of looking at it. So I covered it artfully and I love it. By the fireplace I  notices a draft in the winter that was bugging me so I came up with a design to have one big panel of cloth with magnets inside to stick to the metal surround and cover up the glass (to protect the kiddies and the glass itself) and close up the draft. I didn't get it done in time for winter but it's up now and ready for whenever. This was my first foray into using a sewing machine. I have mixed emotions about that learning curve.

Then comes the carpet. While it has been on my long wish list to replace it someday (after the kids have finished spilling things on it every freaking day!) we noticed an odd wet area under a piece of furniture. The stain is big and smelly and mysterious. We have an idea of where it may have come from (an overloaded washing machine on the other side of the wall?) but we're not completely sure. We had a plumber come look in case it was a major thing going on and all that we got from that visit was a couple holes in the wall and some guy scratching his head about the whole thing. We are still shrugging our shoulders too and not sure what to do. I guess it will remain covered for a while until we figure out where it came from before we replace the carpet. While thinking about what to do I thought out loud about putting a wood floor there instead. After all this other stuff going on, Leo gave me a look that suggested I might be slightly off my rocker and I better lay off the DIY ideas for a while.

For Mothers Day I received four carpet roses to plant outside. Brother Matt delivered them and mentioned he would be happy to put them in the ground. Although I hadn't planned for roses in front I casually mentioned how maybe they would look good in front instead of the awful bushes we have always had and always hated. The suggestion turned into a project in three minutes and suddenly we were pulling the awful things out of the ground. Matt made quick work of it while I ditched the
cut up branches to the woods behind the house and Leo came out to help between work e-mails. (We love being backed up to the woods more every year!) The clean slate has my wheels spinning once again . I visited a local nursery yesterday and fell in love with a couple plants. I got three Dwarf Nandina and one Heavenly Bamboo that will go nicely with the small Japanese Maple Orangeola I got at the farmers market last weekend. As for the giant holly tree - that monster is coming down as soon as we can get our hands on a chainsaw. I plan to get a nice Japanese Maple there too someday. As for the roses, Leo dug up a strip of grass on the south side of the house especially for them. They will be lovely to see when we come home everyday and less grass to cut!

One of my friends noticed all that was happening and called me the Project Girl. It's true. It doesn't stop around here. And I hope it doesn't. Even though I'm tired, it's so much fun!

Taking Off & Catching Up

At the end of last month, right after a last minute trip to NY for an unfortunate circumstance, there was need to return for another. My step-dad's mother, Janet Gleason, passed. Her health was iffy for a while, so while it was not completely unexpected, it always feels surreal to say your final goodbyes. Of course I rounded up the boys and drove up to do just that. She was so good to us and counted us as her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

On the way we stopped to stay with Cousin Jill since she is an easy half-way point and just wonderful company anyway. She let us take over the basement each way to and from NY. Thank goodness for Jill & Greg! I never could have made that trek without the stopover!

The boys were pretty good and the drive not completely unbearable (though I don't want to have to do it again for a while). But being a single parent for a few days was really rough. I felt like I was "on" the whole time, worrying about them,"are they fed?", "are they safe?", "where are they?!" There was help on the other end as always but still, they are a handful. Restaurants are no fun with busy boys and we had to endure a couple of those. And Benny of course it still very much glued to my right hip. You would think I would have just fallen into bed each night exhausted. I was exhausted, but I never relaxed completely until we got home and barely sleep the whole week. I super tired and missing Leo very much by the time we got home.

Still, the visit was nice as we spent some quality time with the Grands, the Aunts, the Uncles, and Lily. We had beautiful weather the whole time. Nathan loved being outside, running non-stop. I love to see him able to just go and not worry (too much). Benny was less easy as mentioned, and he got a little banged up on his outside adventures (a missing chunk of his nose, a scrape on his chin and forehead were proof). But we survived.

While we were there, Babci went into the hospital (and we all feared - another grandmother?!). She recovered, but the hospital visit brought Leo's aunt and uncle down from Boston to see her. So I brought the boys over to see them. Nathan had only met Paul & Julie once and Benny not at all so we stopped by Grandpa Trucks house on the way out of town.

Despite my GPS not working, then the DVD player not working on the way home, several potty breaks and  some hungry and I'm-sick-of-the-car complaints, we made it work. I was very happy to collapse on the couch when we got home, and let Daddy take over.

Since then I feel like it's getting harder and harder to catch up. True we have a lot of little house projects going on (as you will see in another post). But the kids seem to require non-stop attention. Meals are a series of getmethis and getmethat. Each room of the house is a trail of objects from other rooms. Dust, dirt and dropped food and drink are everywhere. And this isn't even taking care of shopping for and preparing meals, doing laundry, getting ready to go one place or another. If you're a mom, you know. It's endless. Then there is the overnight shennanigans. For the most part it's under control here. But there are nights where Nathan wakes with his awful high-pitch whine that wakes Benny 50% of the time. Last night Benny took forever to get back to sleep. Then it takes ME forever to get back to sleep. Then there is a Nathan in my face at 5:30 saying he doesn't want to sleep in his room alone (I let him sleep on the floor for a quick solution that didn't require me to move). And then Benny wakes at 6:30 for the day, just when I planned to wake up to fit in a little me-time. Ugh! I'm not complaining - this is parenthood. But sometimes I just have to throw my hands up in the air and say "It's not fair." Stomp around like a child and get it out. So I did. And now I feel better. But now I must get back to the to-do's. Dinner doesn't make itself over here.

PS - My Mothers Day was great. I left the house for a few hours. ALONE! Then we went to Gigi's for dinner. A needed break indeed. I think we should have mothers day once a week at least!

1 + 4 = Tired

(((Yawn))) I'm tired. I've been forcing early morning workouts lately. I'm not bragging. Just reminding myself that I am doing this when I re-read it again someday. It's totally worth it to get up and get that out of the way first thing (especially when I have time to shower too). But I won't lie; I'm beat at the end of the day. But then again, that may be all about these boys I am chasing around. One and Four are no joke.

I have to say, Nathan as a four year old (as tiring as he can be) has been better than threes. He is suddenly so grown up! I met with his preschool teacher a few weeks ago and of course he got stunning golden reviews (like at Gigi's!). I told Miss Christy (his teacher) that it sounds like a totally different kid. This is not unusual. I decided to force my little golden child to do more of the things he does at school and he's been doing more on his own. This can be good and bad but mostly good.

For starters, Nathan enjoys the shower more than a bath lately. He will go into our shower, start it, get in and wash himself. Occasionally he will even get out on his own without threats and warnings. He has been getting up to pee at night (accompanied by random cries and squeals but let's focus on the good stuff here). When I was told he is totally wiping his own butt at school I put my foot down at home and guess what - the kid is a good butt wiper. (One down, one to go) He can get dressed on his own, gets water from the fridge, and sometimes his own snacks (which is where it can be less a good thing). The other day Leo must have told him to get him some tea (perhaps joking?) and then I found Nathan at the fridge, glass mug in hand, filling it with water to start some tea. (Yes, countertop climbing was involved here) We went for a walk today and Nathan was determined to cross the street on his own, assuring me he could look both ways (which he did non-stop the whole way across the street). He can turn the TV on and off. Put on his shoes and socks. Clicks in his own seat belt. He is quite the independent child when he wants to be. And thank goodness. Because the other one is obviously not.

Benny on the other hand is all over the place. A busy, climbing, curious, expressive little person. He is a copy cat (which is tough when big bro can do it all). He is a runner. He would be a weeble wobble, but really the kid does fall. All the time. His head is developing that tough shell that Nathan has though. His bumps and bruises heal quickly and he is easy to distract for the most part. Think food. The kid is non-stop. He is really funny. He knows when he is being silly or bad and giggles and runs away. He loves to climb on the bench in my office and look out the window. He plays with the shoes by the front and often tries to put them on. He continues to sleep well at night, though we are challenged with one nap or two. None is never an option. Benny is whiny for sure. But like I said, food or mommy is likely to cure him. Or Nathan. He is always laughing at the things Nathan does, even when I'm trying to get Nathan to stop the annoying thing that Benny is laughing at.

Right now it's hard to do things with them. Nathan wants to go, go, go and so does Benny. But Benny can't go without me. But Nathan has already taken off while I'm putting on shoes, changing a diaper, preparing a bag, etc. I feel like I'm often behind trying to keep up. I try to go out and do things with them but this is often stressful. Then again, being at home often is too. Demand after demand, mess after mess. The witching hour is often my breaking point and I sometimes really can't wait for Benny to be entertained by TV as easily as Nathan is. By dinnertime I need that virtual babysitter help! By bedtime I'm cooked.

As hectic as it all is, of course it's all good. I get out to enjoy friends often and so does Leo. Tonight he is out playing poker and Uncle Matt has gone along with him. That means a little Jen-Time. A book? A movie? Maybe early bed time!

Revolving Door

How is it the middle of April and how do I cover what I have missed when I didn't even know I missed it? Well, let's back track. Today is a beautiful spring day. I mean gorgeous! Except for the pollen. That stuff is nasty and we are at the thick of it. But that soon will dissolve in the spring rains and we will have the wonderful spring colors left behind. (And cicadas apparently. That's a whole other thing to look forward to. Ick!) Despite the pollen it was a nice morning to get up, dressed and do some family photos. My wonderful friend Carrie did them for us and even though I asked for a couple different various shots, I'm really hoping to just get one good one. Just one! It's not a lot to ask until you have a family of your own that squirms, runs, and does whatever they want.

This past week was back to our usual - play dates, preschool, stuff around the house. I am thankful for routine since the previous week was anything but. Since Nathan was off school for a week and my mother was taking a trip up to NY, we decided last minute to go with her. Until very last minute when we had a terrible night of sleep and I developed chills, fever, aches and a cough overnight. That did it for me and I decided it was best to not go. We were all disappointed and Nathan begged to go to Pop's house all week after that. But being in the car and then caring for the boys alone would not have been ideal.

Just when we were getting used to not going, Joanne's mother passed and I was suddenly planning to go to NY after all for the services. Poor Leo was prepared for a week alone and then he was stuck with two boys over the weekend. I was only gone a mere 36 hours though (the longest of my life!) and they survived. Super Daddy had it covered and I was able to be with family. I flew up and drove back with my mom. I was glad for the chance to pay my respects and even a little time without the boys. but I was super glad to be home. (11 hours in the car. So. Not. Fun.) That entire week was boring, uncertain, painful and unusual. I'm glad it is behind us. My only regret is that our anniversary went by without much fanfare. But Leo knows I love him and how wonderful the last six years have been. We'll have to make up for it next year!

Before that we were dealing with a very cold March and trying to pass time inside. It has since changed, as I mentioned, and we spent lots of time outside this week, much of it in water. The small pool and sprinkler have already been set up in the front a few times this week and I expect the rest of the summer to be similar. Nathan loves the water and spent hours playing with the hose the other day. He rarely stays interested in anything for long so this is a wonderful discovery! Benny was not as interested and was rather annoyed when I tried to get him involved in water play. He likes to put rocks and chalk and whatever else he can find, in and out of buckets and bowls. I don't know how this will turn out when the pool opens. It's always a new adventure with each changing season and each changing stage for the boys. It keeps me on my toes, that is for certain.

This week G'pa Truck, Kerri and boys were here for a visit. And friend Mario came down for a day to hang too. It's a revolving door I tell ya!