The Glider

Long ago we decided we were done having kids. It was not a hard decision. The longing went away and we knew we were complete. This gave me permission to let stuff go. Like stuff stuff. Like clothes, toys and furniture. Benny's room was getting crowded so we decided to do away with his dresser/ changer. I posted it on a site to sell things and it went quickly. The woman who came to pick it up was getting it for her daughter who was young and single. This was an unexpected pregnancy and they didn't have a lot to spend. I was happy she ended up with it. When they came to get it, I asked if they were looking for a glider. They were, and I could see they were interested. But it was one thing I wasn't quite ready to part with.

The glider was a gift from Ed's mom Janet.She has since passed but I have often thought of her while sitting in that chair. It's also where I had so many hours with my babies. I nursed and rocked and sang to them from that chair. So many late nights and bedtimes.

I wasn't ready yet. But I kept thinking about that young girl and I knew I wanted the chair to go to a good home. I had kept the mothers number just in case.

In a seemingly unrelated course of events that started with our recliner that is peeling fake leather all over the place, I wanted to get new chairs to replace the bad one. After lots of shifting of chairs and benches around throughout the rooms, the last piece of the puzzle was to move out the old and make way for the new. And so I had to decide. Was I ready now? I knew the girl was due in winter and she wouldn't leave my thoughts.

So I moved that chair right out of Benny's room, right under his nose. I waited to see if he would protest. He didn't. He liked his new chair just fine. He knelt right in front of it and lined up his little Lego cars right away. Done deal. It's was time.

I reached out to the woman and asked if she was still interested. She was.

As I cleaned up the chair, Benny, who is almost always right next to me all day, started signing twinkle twinkle little star. I stopped and looked at him. He was happily driving a Lego motor cycle around with his "guys". He likes to hum and sing but I haven't heard this most basic of songs from him unprompted before.

The only thing I can think to explain why he was singing that song, of all songs, is because it was one of the ones I always sang to them in that chair. Perhaps his own memories were being stirred up too.

Today the woman and her daughter came to get the chair and I know it will be well-loved by this girl and new baby girl, due in January. Leo joked I might shed some tears when they drove away. I didn't even wait that long. I was glad they knew how much it meant to me though. I hope they will have many wonderful warm nights of song and cuddles in it too.

I am very sad to see it go. Equally, it's a nice release too. I would have had to sometime anyway. And it's just stuff. It's not like my memories leave with it. They may have started in that chair, but it was in my arms and my heart that my love for my boys grew, and it is there that they will stay.

The Secret Room

I am overwhelmed by all the things I want to mention but never have the time for. So, I'll bullet point it for you. Something is better than nothing . . .

Last month I caught Nathan pushing on the walls randomly in the living room. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was looking for the "secret room." We told him when he was 4ish that we have a secret room and we'll tell him where it is when he's bigger. I guess he's big enough now. He continued to look for it and bug Leo about it until he cried and Leo had to tell him there was no secret room. Oh the disappointment. I know buddy, not cool. A secret room would be awesome.

Nathan started First Grade and he's doing great. We started up without a bump. We are on track out now so we shall see how track in goes but honestly, things are going great. He has "the hardest first grade teacher in the school". I say yay to that. He is so super smart - let's challenge the kid! He plays with Leo's old iphone and knows how to text. He writes out the funniest texts to him. I created an email account for him for a couple games he likes to play and he now knows how to actually write an email now too. I got my first one from him the other day. He actually signed it "Your child Nathan". Love it!

We went to visit Nonni & Poppi a few weekends ago. It was overcast at Oak Island but perfect for us. (Leo doesn't do too much sun anyway.) The boys loved the water and sand. They can finally play without too much worry on our parts . . . except for the sharks of course.

Grandpa Truck moved down and into his new house. The Koker/ Trend house is officially moved into while the Orangeburg house is still waiting for a new family. We enjoyed their pool last month. Benny refused to get on the slide but the other boys has no trouble making use of it.

This past weekend we went to DC for Leo's work picnic. Well, it was more like Rockville, MD and it was more like a party than a picnic. Caricature Artist, DJ, pool, food, dunk dank, bingo, corn hole, etc, etc. They did a nice job and was fun for all. We went to the Air & Space Museum on our way out of time and brunch with friend Hadas and her family. We were pooped when we got home. And not prepared to deal with what we came home to . . .

When we left for DC on Friday the front toilet was acting strangely and backed up a bit. We fixed what we could and left it though. Then, Sunday when we came home Nathan used the hall bathroom. Later we discovered the toilet had run and was clogged up and overflowing. All over the bathroom. And into the hallway on the carpet. Oh joy. It was inches deep and had been running over an hour I think. The master toilet had been leaking a bit as well a week or so previously. But when this flooding happened I screamed "Now's the time for the plumber!". The pieces were coming together with all the toilet issues. I wondered if this had anything to do with the work happening outside last week. They were digging all over the neighborhood for fiber optic lines. No we didn't ok this and no we aren't even getting this service. They just do and then take a nap under your tree. We find out that is the issue and they hit our line causing issues. Ugh. It has been fixed but it remains to be seen who pays for the plumbing bill and the possible replacement of tile/ carpet with water damage below. The unasked for saga continues . . .

Benny starts back at school next week. We have had a nice time just the two of us. He says he doesn't want to go back yet he stuffs little back packs with stuff and carries it on his back all over the house. I know he will settle in just fine.

Last month we had a new babysitter come. She is the daughter of one of Benny's teachers last year. Either the boys were ready for us to leave or she just had the magic touch. She came in, they barely said bye, and they behaved all night. No tantrums about us leaving! Whoohoo! More date nights to come.

We finished the bar upstairs. It looks amazing! It was touch and go for a little bit but the finished product is beautiful. We had neighbors over to help christen the new Trendohaus Bar, which it certainly was when Kate spilled her drink. Twice. Irish music blaring, drinks poured, it felt like a real bar. We took the bench that we built last year and added caps and resin to that too. Just in time for company . . .

Leo's b-day is this weekend and we are, as always, hosting the big bash. I always feel a lot of pressure to make the place look amazing for party time. The bench will look nice out front, next to the new cone flowers I got today. Some cleaning inside and food prep and we'll be good to go.

Mom and Ed will have the boys while we entertain. All parties are excited about the visit. The boys do so well there and Mom says they are angels. Leo and I get an extra date night on Friday and then a kid free weekend. I'm working my butt off this week to get a bunch done so I can relax in a clean quiet house Friday afternoon into Saturday.

The boys have actually have been very good lately. They were not too good when we were in DC, but because of that whole scene, I took away all devices and screen time. And it's been the best few days. Less fighting and whining. The boys play together so well now and they are actually figuring out what to do with themselves on their own. They have had to earn back screen time so they have been endlessly offering to help. We've done vacuuming, cleaning windows, clearing tables, laundry, cleaning the car, watering plants, etc. It's great. It came just in time for track out and lots of time together.

Uncle Matt has been deployed for the first time and will be coming home by Christmas. He is doing fine where he is. But we miss him lots.

Julia just turned two, Lily turns five in October. Patrick is three and Logan turned six, When did these kids grow up?!

So much else. so many little things. Benny insisting on one more hug and kiss at bed and saying good night I love you so many times it's almost (almost) not cute anymore. Nathan with his missing teeth (and more soon as he gets some pulled tomorrow. Wow literally pulling teeth! I expect it to be awful!). The boys playing in the hose today and having the best time. Nathan being able to read to Benny. Benny loving Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders.

Life is full and busy and wonderful. Today was busy with yard work and actual work (with a designer doing some staging!), homemade pizza, wine and Leo teaching the boys baseball basics. I have lots on my to-do list but I realized today that I love it all. I'm so fortunate for all of it. Every. Single. Bit.

One Year Down . . .

Today was Nathan's last day of Kindergarten. Funny how the first few days (weeks, months....) the mornings were filled with angst, crying, procrastinating, tooth pulling and feet dragging. This was a lot of emotion to fit in 40 minutes. As time went on, Nathan became more and more confident, he made friends, and then, a whole year later, he barely looked at me when he got on the bus. Even as the year wore on and he was more likely to run around the bus stop with neighborhood kids, but always came back to mama for one last hug and kiss. Today - nuthin'! He got in line and it was me who had to go to him to give him one last hug. He did, however, crowd into the windows with all the other kids to wave at us moms on the corner. I tried to catch a picture of their cute little faces, hands waving, but the reflection didn't allow it. But having watched him day after day, I think it will be something I will always remember.

Being year-round, he will start right back up next week into First Grade! It's a quick break but I think it will be for the better - no laying around all summer whining about a new teacher. And yet, there is something weird about no break that makes me feel a little sad. I wanted to at least celebrate the end of this year before the next. So tonight we will gather with some friends at the pool and have cupcakes and cocktails. The adults deserve the celebration too - it was hard on us as well.

Nathan brought home an endless collection of school stuff he did all year, which makes me dizzy since he has brought stuff home every week as it is and there is still MORE! Leo says not to worry so much about keeping so much of it (I desperately try not to be a pack rat), since it is the younger years where they are still making pictures and paintings, magnets and crowns. He is right of course. But I can't say I'm not overwhelmed by the piles in the dining room. It's fun to look back though. He has learned so much this year. He's an amazing reader and writer. I am constantly surprised at the things he does. It's cool to get a peek into his brain.

Benny finished with school a few weeks ago and we have just been hanging around. I was getting antsy about not having a project so we started to finish the bar top upstairs. We decided we have to glue down every single cap (ugh) and then we will fill the top with resin. Leo is nervous about us doing it but I think it will be great when we get there. It's hard to spend time on it though since it's usually hot in that room upstairs and often Benny just wants me to play with him. And so I've only gotten a small portion done so far. By the end of the summer I hope it will be complete.

So we are looking at the next few days with not much planned. I'm so ok with this. As much as I would love to be someplace like the beach, I don't do crowds. So we will stick with our pool and maybe a local outing or two. Personally I'm looking forward to the cupcakes and cocktails tonight to start.

Two Six Year Olds in the House

We now have a six year old in the house. It was evident it was coming since he list his first tooth only a week before his birthday and the dentist said it would come just about birthday time. We celebrated Nathan's birthday with a "Mine Craft" party last weekend, among a select groups of boys. There are a few things I can say to sum it up. Two hours is more than long enough for a rooms full of five and six year olds. Having this many boys in one room is LOUD. Making one little fart sound is enough make it even louder (with giggles and more fart sounds). Having a husband that loves to be with the kids is necessary. Leo was so good with all those boys. They had a wheelbarrow full of sand and rocks and gems for the kids to find. Between the sand, water, the bikes and balls outside, being outside was a blessing and it was super lucky to have sun shining on us! Nathan had a great time and got a lot of Mine Craft tee's (even though it was a no-gift party! I know how to it feels to come empty-handed. Nathan enjoyed it all!) On Monday, his actual birthday, he received a few more gifts and we had "brinner" (breakfast for dinner), his choice. Last minute I threw together some chocolate cupcakes, since not having anything for dessert seemed sinful on his birthday. He still felt it wasn't very birthday-ish, apparently forgetting the party two days prior. Oh well. The kids' gotta learn it's not always parties and gifts all day long. 

Poor Benny was so upset about it all. He kept saying, "I didn't get my birthday presents!" Benny also still insists he is six, not three. Living in Benny's world is more than a little entertaining. 

Things around the house otherwise are going well. With birthdays behind us, we have a few traveling adventures next - to MD  for a family gathering and then to FL for a wedding. Then Kindergarten will be over and we will have a first-grader in the house. What?! That year flew by. As the rest will I'm sure. Nathan is doing really well in school. He is showing some anxiety still in class and when it's time to go, but he is reading like a champ and seems to retain a lot of what they do everyday. Even if it's not something he tells me right away, a small fact about something will pop up and I will ask how he knows that. "I don't know," he'll say with a shrug. "I just learned it at school." Hopefully the rest of whatever uncertainty he is feeling about school, and life, will go away a bit so he can enjoy it. It's a lot to ask of anyone though, as growing up is not always easy. The trouble has always been that he's so smart - he's much to aware to just run and be a kid, he adds his own worry into the mix as well. 

But, when we are tracked out, things are good. Last track out, in February, we went down to Florida to stay with Pop and JoJo for a week or so at the beach. We saw Aunt Ruth and Nannie and enjoyed the sun and sand. It was a rough ride - we went without Daddy - but well worth the trip. We had some good beach days (that we literally walked 100 feet to), an evening walk to get ice cream one night, and saw gators, manatees, dolphins and all sorts of birds. I spent some time with Aunt Ruth and she and Joanne taught me some Zentangle. (Fun! Look it up!) Everyday there was something neat to do. We could have spent several more! But getting back needed to happen too. We missed Daddy and the extra parent in general. And the snow! We missed a pretty big storm here that took out power for some and closed down the place for days. I guess we didn't really miss anything but I love to see falling snow so I still feel like I missed a little. This sounds silly since I was riding a boat watching dolphins jump out of the water while others were home shivering. But still, I wanted to be in both places. 

Speaking of, I should be out walking right now with the little bit of time I have left before Nathan comes home from school. I have had some terrible back pain and I need to be taking it easy, yet not sitting too long. Ice it, stretch it, walk it, but also rest it. It's the only thing on my mind most days as I wait for it to heal. I'm not very good at waiting or holding back from physical movement for long. Patience. Ugh! 

I Love You Sweetheart

I'm sitting at my computer and Benny climbs into the chair behind me, locks his arms and legs around me and says. "I love you." I reply, "I love you too sweetheart." He plies exactly the same, "I love YOU sweetheart." He hugs me harder and says, "Does that feel good?" Now he's listening to my heart beat and says, "Your beat heart sounds good." This kid has barely been in trouble for more than three minutes of his life. It's not possible when he has these tricks up his sleeve!

Bahamas

As you all know, Leo gets to work from home. Although it has its challenges, it works well for our family. Since everyone in the company also works from home, Valiant has to make special effort to get the entire company together for meetings and whatnot. They have always had some kind of yearly meeting which included something fun and not entirely work related, and the boss' vision has always been to go someplace other than the local bowling alley. So this year we went to the Bahamas. Yeah, they just skipped over the little stuff and brought us all to Paradise. Paradise Island specifically but they call is that for a reason. It is a little piece of heaven.

After I got the ok from my mom that the kids would be in her hands while we were away, we booked my ticket to come along for the ride. We left early on a dark and cold Wednesday, January 7th. I have to say, there is something about going someplace warm in the middle of winter. It's such a nice break. And right after the holidays was a treat too. There was so much going on in the weeks leading up to it that I barely had time to anticipate it coming. But being in the cold (well, NC cold, not real cold of the north) I could hardly imagine what warm breezes would feel like. We got a good taste of that the second the door opened on the plane. The warm Caribbean air flooded in. The rum and coke was feeling good to me then. Let vacation begin!

From the air we saw the blue waters. From the ground we heard the sway of the palm trees. I floated away with whatever was happening. Life is so much better this way. We got through customs no problem (we could have brought an elephant there), got our chartered bus and were off. The driver gave a (very) detailed route around on the way to Atlantis where we would stay for the next five days. We saw the stadium and where Anna Nicole Smith is buried. Yes, it was the grand tour. We stopped for cheap liquor and snacks then got to our destination. At the front desk I urged Leo to ask for an ocean view. It was worth it to ask and even to wait for one if necessary. It was perfect. On the 7th floor, facing the blue water and beach, I didn't need to even go elsewhere for a while. So we opened the balcony door, poured some drinks and sat in the room, decompressing with friends for a while.

By the way, we had great company on the trip. Twenty of us in all it was Matt & Shea, Kristi & Dan, Cat & Jason, Natalie & Marshall, Heather, Brittany, Ed & Emily, Tommy & Anne, Justin & Trisha, Jeff & Jesse, and us. I only knew a few but we were all friends by the end.

We changed and ventured out for dinner. I had picked a place off property that I heard was a bit less expensive, outdoors, casual and Bahamian authentic. It was all those things, including somewhat hard to find. But we did. We watched the sun set and the cruise ships light up in the bay.

On the way in and out of Atlantis, you can walk through the marina where there are shops, restaurants and gorgeous yachts. That was one of my favorite things, looking at each of these monsters and picking out a favorite. I liked the one named "Imagine".

We took a stroll through the convention center part of the resort where one of the biggest yearly poker events was happening. We knew our buddy Daniel Negraneu would be there. In the back they were filming for a new poker show and you could go back there and watch and even walk around the outside of the players, with the understanding that you would be filmed in the background. We stood by and hung around when we saw Daniel was playing. We stayed for a quite a while hoping he would have a break so we could say hi. He finally did and came over to talk to a guy next to us he knew. Leo make eye contact and said, "Hey, do you remember us?" He came over and shook hands, gave a mumbly "sure, how are ya" and went back to play. Clearly having no idea who we were we went on our way. Later that night Leo had gone through again to watch and had a chance to say hi again and pulled him over to remind Daniel of our trip in '06 when we paid for some winners to come to Las Vegas and hang for a few days. He seemed to truly remember Leo at that point and he said "You've grown up!" I wish I could have been there for that part but I was snuggly in bed with tea and a book, the balcony door open, the sounds of the ocean coming in. I was having a fine time already.

Thursday, the Valiant crew had to actually do some work. So they were up and at 'em early. Since it was yet another beautiful day and there was no going back to sleep (and what a waste anyway!) I got up and ready to go out and explore. I planned to go on my own since I didn't know who was up yet but Dan called the room and we planned to explore together. Marshall came along too. This was what I really wanted. To just walk as far as I could and see it all. And see it all we did. We ran into the under water tunnels where sting rays and sharks float overhead, pools with giant turtles creeping along, swimming pools, bars with DJ booths, the beach, water activities, the other hotel buildings on the properties, the restaurants (oh how I wanted to eat at Bobby Flay's Mesa), the private pools (for the elite hotel guests), the dolphin cay and through the marina. We went everywhere! The beer by the pool, in the sun after our exploration was simply divine. It was actually the cooler of all the days, with the sun in and out of the clouds and the wind fairly rough. But a good full day it was. The work crew was done by 3:30 and we all relaxed for a bit before dinner.

Dinner was a paid-for pre-planned meal at Carmine's near the marina. It was ok Italian food, lots of variety, and giant family-style dishes. But, to be honest, it was too much and went on for too long. We were there for three hours and both of us were just done. We excused ourselves and went to explore.

I had heard over and over to go see The Dig, so we headed that way, in the lobby of the Coral Towers. Into a gigantic open space, marbles and columned, with waterfalls dancing down the walls, you then take a grand staircase down. In front of you to the left and right is the biggest expanse of fish tank I have ever seen. It seemed to go on forever on either direction. I followed a giant manta-ray back and forth as if he were the tour guide and wanted me to see it all. I think there may have been another section with more actual museum-like displays but it was closed for a private party. It didn't matter as I was happy to just hang out there and watch the fish swim about.

We took a walk back towards our room, but walked the perimeter of the building, just on the outside of the casino and shops. I couldn't get enough of the warm, island air.

Friday was my favorite day. It was a dream day. The girls were going on an excursion. We met up in our "living room", which we had established early in the trip. It was the place where the four "wings" on our building met up and a comfy couch, chairs and TV occupied the middle, near the elevators. We were frequently the picture of envy as we lounged about several times a day to meet up, bottles of wine and vodka here and there.

Anyway, we met up there and made it to another marina where we boarded a boat to take us to Rose Island. We traveling past large homes with yachts parked out front all along the waterway. To be one of those people, huh? We passed another small island where Blue Lagoon was filmed. And then after 30 or so minutes we arrived at Rose Island. We were welcomed with an island drink, direction on where to go and what to do and off we went. We all settled on the unpopulated beach first. It was a lovely breezy sunny day and perfect for laying out. We took trips to the beach bar, some went off for beach side massages (I should have done this!), some to the "hammock garden" for quiet nap time. We had a nice island lunch together then split up for the afternoon activities, kayaking or tubing. Kristi and I hung together for the afternoon and ended with a bit of time in the hammocks. Before we knew it, it was time to go. It went much too fast and no one was ready to leave. I would go back again, get a massage first, lay in the hammock next and have someone bring my drinks to me! (It's not fun getting in and out of those things!).

When we returned, we were looking forward to showers and naps. The guys were still out from their all day exploring. But Natalie got the idea we should go surprise them where they were, and before anyone had time to say no, I strongly persuaded the rest of the girls to get in the taxi and go. It took longer than expected to cross the bridge and meander through the busy streets to Senior Frogs. But worth it. The guys were very surprised to see us show up. The place was packed with cruise ship guests. We settled in with drinks, food and talk of our day. There was stage dancing, conga lines, and all sorts of silliness at this place. We couldn't have planned it any better. Sandy, sweaty and everything - it was a perfect afternoon/ evening. We stayed until we couldn't dance anymore and headed back. Everyone said the next day it was the best time.

Saturday was a lazy day for most. Since we didn't have our phones on (to avoid international charges) we couldn't really communicate with each other to make plans to meet up other than the hotel room phone. But when we wandered off, we ended up seeing people all day. Leo and I explored the water rides, the other parts of the property he hadn't seen yet and Dolphin Cay which I had only seen from afar two days before. I have to say, it was pretty cool to see those animals up close and doing tricks on demand. I wished the boys were there to see it. I was getting sad about missing them when two little boys with their parents appeared near us to watch too. That was our cue to move along before I got too homesick!

We found some others at a pool and settled in for a while longer in the sun. Knowing it was our last chance to hang by the pool, it was hard to leave it, at least for me. Fresh air, sun, no kids to worry about. Heaven.

That evening we dressed up for the last meal together. We went to one of the fancier places, a steak house. The food was good (better than Carmines) and there was a magician doing his thing at each table. Afterwards, everyone went as a group to the casino to put money on a number. We hit it! Hopefully it is a sign of another good year for Valiant and another trip like this.

Sunday it was hard to leave but we had our boys to look forward to. We had to leave early to get through customs going out, a longer process than coming in. Once on the plane there was a random delay that had the potential to make us miss our connecting flight in Atlanta, but it all worked out. Except our bags. But they arrived later that night. No harm done.

When we were landing I looked out my window and saw our neighborhood. I sent a text to my mom about it and she said Nathan thought that was the coolest. They were ready and waiting when we got home, standing in front of the door, jumping up and down. So excited to see mommy and daddy! They made a welcome home cake for us. So cute. They were very good for Gigi and Grandpa. They made it easy for us to consider going away like this again, knowing the boys are so good and that they are well taken care of while we are away.

Reality was rough of course, the next day. We had cold, dark, rainy days almost all week. But whenever I start missing it, I look at my pictures, imagine that the planes overhead is the sound of the ocean, and I sit real close to the heat coming out of the vents. If it weren't for the legos all over the floor, I could almost imagine the sand under my toes!

Happy Birthday Benny!

Our sweet Baby Boy turns three today! (Or six if you ask him) We will celebrate all week of course. Cupcakes in class to today, gifts at home after school, dinner out with Gigi and Grandpa tomorrow, on Saturday with Nonni and Poppi and on Sunday with another joint Birthday/ Super Bowl Party. We can't be any happier about celebrating our happy little guy.

Happy New Year 2015

Happy New Year! I write from my new laptop (thank you Leo!) with only a small leftover hangover from last nights' celebrations with the neighbors. While not in perfect condition, I can't complain about a thing (I brought the pain upon myself!).

When Nathan tracked out in November, we seized the free weekend ahead of it and took off for the mountains. I always liked the idea of doing this but we don't do it all that often. It was a good idea. We found a great spot on Sugar Mountain, right across from Grandfather Mountain. We had an amazing view, a big two bedroom, two floor condo to stretch out in and two nights to enjoy it. I won't lie, traveling with these kids is not always awesome. The boys resisted the night time set up, Benny refused to wear his jacket in the freezing cold and they ran around like lunatics for the most part, but hopefully we got some memorable moments in there for them. We all liked the view from the living room best - amazing sunrise I was able to see (consolation for an early wake up). We went to Lynn Caverns, did some "mining" and found some cool rocks at a place right near our place and spent several hours on Grandfather mountain. We missed the leaves of the season, but we did have some snow on the ground when we got there the first night. I had been battling a little cold which took away some fun for me, and being between leaf and ski seasons, it seemed many restaurants were closed. We made due and used the kitchen in the condo, though a meal out would have suited me better. We did end up going to a brewery in Greensboro on the way home where the food was good. As for the beer, well, it was too early and they couldn't serve it yet. Oops!

Out trip to NY for Thanksgiving was a really good one. I personally have been doing better, physically, which matters because I have been able to sleep! For a while, I couldn't sleep no matter where I was, no matter what I did and the trips away from home were rough as the accumulative lose of rest wore me down. This time, no problems. Well, the boys were not all that cooperative in where exactly they should sleep but eventually they won and slept on the floor of our room, blankets spread about, little bodies in various positions by morning. One time I found a sleeping Benny head first halfway under the bed, to his waist! The roll and wiggle so much it's amazing they didn't wake each other or end up in the hallway.

We spent a lot of time with Julia and Lily and of course the uncles. Those little girls are growing so fast. Julia is walking and starting to talk - a much different baby from the last time we saw her. The little boys and little girls had fun playing together. It's nice as they get older they are more self sufficient, leaving more time for the big kids (us) to chat.

Thanksgiving morning Pop dropped off the Kepler Kids at Rockland Lake for the Turkey Trot. I had run for a bit to prepare for it. It seemed to pay off as I don't feel like I was in too much pain for says after versus Joey who seemed to be limping a bit. Although he did finish first out of the 5 of us, then Tim, TJ, Me then Greg who walked. I finished under 53 minutes and I had to walk/ run it after the three mile walk because of the awful feeling I get in my left knee after a certain distance. I was mad since I was feeling so good otherwise. Oh well, I did it. And it wasn't even my decision to do it! But I did.

The day before it had snowed. It was a thick wet snow but snow all the same. We had a nice white landscape to run along and more fat flakes were falling by the time the race was over. A well-deserved feeding frenzied filled the day of course. I'm not sure why we go through the trouble of making a turkey and all the trimmings when I'm perfectly happy eating shrimp and cheese all day.

That night cousin Kristen came over and all sat around playing a hilarious game of Wits and Wagers. We put the Lego movie on that night, and most other nights in order to have a few hours of fun without the kids underfoot. It worked for the most part. Almost too well. We were all up way late, until Lily hit her threshold and had a little freak out at the end. I'm surprised ours didn't do the same. They did however go to bed without too much fuss, completely spent from the long day of play.

Benny adjusted for these late nights by having late naps. He fell asleep every day on the couch right around dinner time. While he missed actual meal time, it was rather enjoyable to have one less plate to fuss over and a little less fight between Nathan and Benny. Between his naps and his camouflage PJ's that he insists on wearing every day, it was easy to miss Benny!

Friday was had a slow morning but then went into the city to see a Sesame Street exhibit at the Lincoln Center Library. We saw Oscar in his can, Super Grover overhead, Cookie Monster, Bert & Ernie and Big Bird! He really is a BIG BIRD! The kids were less enthused, but Greg and I were were loving it. I would have liked to spend more time reading, less time chasing. But still, it was a good experience. We had lunch across the street then ventured home; the cold wind made for a quick trip with the little ones.

Saturday Tim and Jen came back up for another visit and dinner, Sunday was a laid back day. We could have gone home then but we were glad to have waited until Monday after the holiday traffic died down. It's hell on 95. But we made it in great time, leaving at 5am and getting home well before dark. Early is the way to go. It was a nice trip. The only thing lacking was Matt and his girlfriend Katie who were supposed to join us until plans changed last minute. One of these days perhaps we will all be together again at the same time.

The week we returned we had lots of little things happening, Disney on Ice - Frozen (that everyone we know went to!), book club, guys night out, etc. Nathan had school for two weeks, then a two week break again for the holidays. A strange time, these on again, off again times at school. But he has continuously adjusted well.

This break for holidays has been nice. It's been raining a bunch so not a ton of outside stuff happening. But I think the boys really just like being home. And now with Christmas behind us, they have lots (I mean LOTS) of things to keep them busy. They make out well every year. While I cringe at the stuff they acquire (it's freakin' everywhere) I must think less of the mess and more of the love that is showered on them everywhere we turn.

~~

Since I last wrote Benny has made some great strides. We changed his bed from crib to toddler bed. While in NY he was still having potty trouble. But since he seemed to be doing it on purpose (going #2 in his pants) we started to punish him for it. It didn't work. So we stopped and when we did Benny asked me, "I'm not gonna have to go to my room now?" I told him no, he was a big boy and had to make up his own mind about it. The day after that he put the stuff from his body to the potty and has been amazing with it ever since with few accidents. He's now out of his diapers even at night. We are very proud (and relieved!) that the diaper days are behind us. Benny also likes to ride Nathan's big boy bike, with the training wheels. He is such a big boy now. Yet, he will still curl up on me and fall asleep, like today. My baby.

My Big Baby is anything but. He had a friend over last week and we were outside on bikes and scooter. After not avoiding the muddy sidewalk like I has suggested, Nathan was on the ground, crying, and there was blood. Lots of it. Dripping down his nose, I corralled the kids back one by one, got Leo to come help and then we were discussing where to go for emergencies. Leo took him to the new ER down the road and he came home with four stitches. Yikes. We were lucky to have gotten almost six years without emergencies. The luck had to run out sometime.

But like I said, Nathan was not a baby. He cried. He freaked a little when stitches were first talked about. But he got used to the idea. By the time he was numb, he was a brave boy and got fixed up. I wasn't there for it, which I both hated and was grateful for. Leo said it was sad and traumatizing, plus I would have fainted watching a needle go through my kids face. Soooo, maybe better not to be there. In any case, the stitches were out a couple days after Christmas, the scab has fallen off and it's healing nicely already, only a week and a few days after it happened. Here's to no more ER visits anytime soon.

New Years, as mentioned, was spent with family and neighbors. In the afternoon, G'pa Truck and the Kokers came over for lunch, a long walk after and kid play time. Then, with no rest we went up the street. We've been close with the Carroll's for years and have gotten to know the Ladwigs this year as well. The kids are comfortable there and we always have a good time. We know we are so lucky to have close neighbors that are so much like family.

Big Leo's house has begun being built and he expects it to be done before spring, so another family member, turned NC resident. My own Dad was here a few days ago on his way down to Florida for the winter. On Christmas Day we had almost all the parents here too. These kids are so lucky to have them all around so often.

And so a new year begins. Last year was a great one; Leo is doing great at work among all the other blessings we have. We hope it's not a matter of having that Fraggle Rock which Leo had since Christmas last year. I made him another once since strange things were happening suddenly as soon as we passed it along to Danielle. On the other hand, if it does have good luck, I hope it works for her this year!

Speaking of good stuff with work, because it was a banner year for Valiant, the yearly meeting is being held in the Bahamas! (Sure beats bowling!) We will be staying at Atlantis with a large group of his work people. We leave Wednesday and Gigi and Grandpa get the boys for five whole days. Wow. That's a long time. They will have a blast. I'm pretty sure we will too. Not a bad way to start 2015.

Happy November

Happy November! The last two months must have flown by. I can tell you they contained mostly day-to-day stuff. With school come routine. I can't complain too much about this.

Benny adjusted well to school. He talks about it on his off days, still asks if he can take a bus to get there and willingly tell us about what he does there from time to time. He gets an ink stamp on his arm when he goes to music class with Miss Lisa and he always has sand in his shoes from playing outside. Also, he is a happy tired boy on his two preschool days so I know he is having fun. When I dropped him off this past Thursday he even walked into the room on his own without tears. A first! He would still cry and grab for me most times but we are making progress. He wears a pull up to school too and big boy underwear at home. Not to say that he is full potty-trained, but we are making slow progress there too. He can go on the toilet like a big boy but when he sneaks out of a room to "go play" I know he is up to other types of business that is frustrating and messy. But this phase was much harder with Nathan and at some point it all worked itself out. I'm sure it will with Benny too.

Even though Benny is tired out from school days and playing hard at home, he doesn't lip to nap. He will often cry, whine and occasionally climb his way out of his crib. Lately, I let him watch TV around nap time and he falls asleep on his own. It seems easier than fighting him these days. He's become very head strong!

Nathan has adjusted once again to school too. We had a tough time in there where he would cry every morning about the bus and "missing us." No doubt he does but he is making friends now and has those interactions to look forward to every morning now. Apparently Pokemon is a big deal again and all the kids trade cards on the bus. This obsession actually helped turn an older "bully" on the bus into a new friend. They trade cards often and Nathan talks about his new friend "Matthew" all the time now. (Matthew called Nathan a cry baby several months back and Nathan responded by calling him a Bully. Pokemon came up and they've been friends ever since.)

Nathan has Rainbow words that he has to study nightly. This and the classroom sight words has propelled him forward in reading like I never thought it would. I was told it would happen but it's so cool to actually see your baby reading words in a book on his own. He and Leo do the work together most nights (Mommy and Nathan don't always work well together). He's so smart in so many ways and so very talented. His drawings are really good. And the sentences he writes with his pictures are usually entertaining. He is encouraged to just write things down however they sound to him. It's fun to see how he thinks are spelled and, according to the plan, see his confidence grow as he writes it. He doesn't worry about spelling stegosaurus right, he just goes at it and we piece it together by his pictures. (I needed spell check for that one myself!)

Around the house, things are tame. With some time on my hands it's nice to have time for whatever I want. And even the things I don't. I don't love laundry and housework but I feel like I can keep up with it a little better without kids always underfoot. I've had time for reading (currently in love with the Outlander Series) and workouts and playdates with friends the mornings Benny is home with me.

Nathan goes to Tae Kwon Do still and is on his 3rd belt. We go 3 or 4 times a week, Leo and I taking turns taking him. Sometimes Benny and I shop or walk around outside and sit and play games on my phone. He's getting harder to entertain some days when he comes with me. But despite his busy state he seems to be picking up the moves and can show you a little Tae Kwon Do himself when he's in the mood.

Uncle Matt moved to Kentucky in September. We were really sad to see him go. It was such an unexpected thing at the start to have him so close by. Then we were lucky to have him around for two years or something close to that. Then when he got his orders that he would go to Fort Campbell I thought only about what it meant for him, not me. But when it left I realized. We miss him coming by on the weekends. And seeing his girlfriend Katie too. We enjoyed some nights out and some fun nights in too. We look forward to seeing them both in NY for Thanksgiving.

That is the next trip planned. We were up in April last and want to be here for Christmas, so Turkey Day is it. Pop and Jojo were here recently, as well as Grandpa Truck, but the brothers and all the rest are really missed. Can't wait to see them all.

Nathan tracks out soon so he will have four weeks off. Oh, what to do with that time with my boys?! Parks and activities of some sort. That's when mom has to get creative. Hopefully I can arrange a quiet hour so mom gets to read!

Benny's First Day

Here is Benny on his first day of school. Leo just took him this morning. That was not something I would be able to do with a dry face. We went to meet the teacher last week, only hanging around for a half hour and not even leaving him and I cried! (I did go to bed late the night before and sleep terribly so I'm going to place a little blame on that too.) When we went the other day, of course, Benny had a great time. New toys! A playground! A sand box! But mommy and daddy and even Nathan were there still. Today, I know his little fall will fall when he realizes daddy won't be staying. He can be distracted but this is yet another change in our lives that will take some time getting used to.

On the way out the door he put his new bag over his shoulder like a big boy and even asked me earlier if he could take the bus.

A friend of mine said she looks at school as a gift. I like that. I will have to keep that in mind today as I get sad thinking about him.

As for other transitions, Nathan slowly got better adjusting to school - just in time to track out for three weeks. We haven't talked about it a lot, though I plan to. We slipped back into our old routines and have been busy with pool and park days, packed lunches and even and overnight with Gigi. He needed a little bit of familiarity. But I'll be nervous once it starts up again. It was not fun to see his little face crumble when the bus came and I had to wave goodbye to a sad Nathan for the day. Won't it be fun in two weeks when they are both crying in the morning?!

Less Love

We did love Kindergarten. Here are reasons I am feeling less love this week: 

1. Germs

Saturday morning after the first full week of school, Nathan woke with a fever. He ended up missing three days of school. Going back on Thursday was disastrous. Friday, a little better. Monday, awful. 

2. Mean bus drivers? 

I brought him to the bus this morning and he did not want to get on that bus. Another mom mentioned that her daughter said the bus driver was mean to Nathan last week. Great. Just what I want to hear. Mean or just doing her job - I don't know. At least it's a short ride to school. 

3. Subs

After finding some comfort in getting to know the teachers, they were out sick yesterday so he had a sub. In some ways, it's a good thing - get used to it kid! But I still feel sad for him. Not quite being adjusted, I'm sure it was hard to not have a familiar face to go to. 

4. More whining

Much of the weekend was on and off complaints about not wanting to go to school. Oh yay, let's whine some more. 

5. Spread of germs

Benny had a fever this past weekend and, as I type as 8:40a, he is still sleeping, even after an early bedtime. The kid is exhausted. Yet, somehow, still happy even when he's sick. 

I'm sure I can find some good though . . . 

1. Early bedtimes

Both kids were in bed and asleep last night by 9p. Many households I know of have bedtimes in the 7 - 8p range but that's never been us. Now, we are working in that direction. It's weird when it's still so light out but it's a good thing to be done with bedtime duties with enough time to actually enjoy the rest of the evening. 

2. Quiet mornings

Right now, it's quiet. And it's really nice. Benny doesn't always sleep this late but when he does, having the peace is nice. (Even though inside I'm thinking about the crying Nathan at school today.)

I can't think of others right now. Maybe after some coffee I will . . . . 

We Love Kindergarten

I forget what it's like to be bleary-eyed. We've been through it, for diaper changes, feedings and pee pit stops, but we've been spoiled for a while. In fact, until last week we were all sleeping in until 8a or so. Then school started.

I'm actually not even going to complain about school. I'm just acknowledging that we were really lucky to have so many wonderful sleep-in days. Nathan and I get up around 7a, I get him ready for the day, and we are at the bus stop at 7:45a. This morning felt tough for some reason and making a peanut butter and honey sandwich only ten minutes after I rolled out of bed felt unnatural. But once the bus left and I came home to a Benny that was already at the table eating his Cheerios (thanks Leo), I was starting to feel glad about the daily wake up call. It's nice to get started the same time every day. It's probably good for all of us, despite the initial reaction at 7a - I'm not ready.

 And Nathan loves school. He did so great the first day it was like he had done this a million times already. He slipped right into whatever else was going on. He took the bus home and hasn't had a single second thought about it. And neither have I. We are so pleased we have a school so close, a stop full of friends, and a day of activities he really looks forward to.

At home, Benny and I have been rolling along just fine. He plays legos, trains, lego, trains and then legos again. And he's so happy!

I have been able to get some things done that are much harder with two around and having the majority of the day to do them has felt amazing. Even Leo is benefiting I think - less distraction for him too.

Despite the 7a lunch-making duties, I love Kindergarten!

Vegas Vacation

Ahhhhh Vegas. It had been a while (Spring of 2011 I think?). This may not sound like it, but seeing as we used to make regular visits, it has been quite a long time. The city did not
disappoint.

To get away from it all was a treat. No cooking, cleaning, diapers, demands. Just the lights, the desert mountains and time for just Leo and I. We left Tuesday afternoon after Gigi picked us all up. The boys were packed up to spend a few days with her and Grandpa. I was nervous. About leaving
them. About being so far away. They were well-prepared though and didn't cry or fuss about it. They knew there was fun in store for them.

Our flight was delayed - a slight summer to start the trip. Then the delayed passengers grumbled that the wi-fi wasn't working on this particular flight. Whaddyagonnado? We were happy to catch up on some shows on the laptop and I dug into a new book. With nothing but time, who can complain?

We landed in the late afternoon and the hot air of the west greeted us when we arrived. If you've never been I suppose it's quite a bit to get used to but personally, I enjoyed the change of not sweating my butt off the moment I get outside. It's hot like if you were stick you head in an oven, that is true.
But find some shade and it's do-able. I welcomed the warmth. And the mountains. Sorry if I mention them more than a hundred times. I love the spaciousness of the desert and how it all goes on for miles. It's so different from our dense green surroundings at home. I love it!

We took a cab to the Flamingo, our old reliable. We got a Go Room which is an "updated" room as compared to the old rooms but...I guess they updated a while ago. They were a little worn but still cool with hot pick accents, frosted glass everywhere and white vinyl. It sounds weird, but look it up. They are kinda neat.

Off to our first destination, Planet Hollywood (former Aladdin) for the buffet. Buffets are the thing in Vegas, along with all things gluttonous. It's not always a good deal for my picky Leo, and as much as I love to eat, I wouldn't even want to stuff myself so much as to make it worth it (they are pricey). But this was a good choice as there were was unlimited drinks attached to this one, we got in using Big Leo's Diamond card so we could skip the line and travel VIP-style (thanks Truck!), and we were starving because of the delayed flight. As we settled in with our plates, a waitress asked if I would like some freshly steamed crab legs. Yes, yes I would. She delivered a huge plate full. That and the champagne set the mood for the week. Vegas always makes you feel a little bit like royalty.

Wednesday I was ready to set off for the pool first thing but it was a little overcast so we decided to wander the new area next to Flamingo first, the Linq. This is where the new observation wheel is, The High Roller, the largest in the world. There are tons of new shops, restaurants, etc. bordering a cobblestone street connecting Las Vegas Blvd and the wheel. We walked along, got a couple of mimosas at The Quad (new place), then ventured back for breakfast. It was really cool to be out when no one else was.

After breakfast was pool time where Leo didn't last long. I enjoy the Flamingo pool. It has been updated since our last visit, the music is great and the atmosphere fun. I only wish we were there with friends. I would have spent more time there socializing. Still, the time spent not doing anything else felt wonderful.

The afternoon was spent wandering in the Planet Hollywood/ Paris area some more, then rest before our long night out. We checked out the VIP lounge (with that handy Diamond card) and had some snacks and dri
nks. Then we took a cab to the Hoffbrau Haus for dinner. And beer of course. The giant room was decorated in typical German fashion (I assume) with tall painted ceilings, long wood tables and benches, ginormous mugs of beer and a German band. The atmosphere was lively and welcoming. We met another couple next to us who were going zip-lining at the Rio. We were then off to a concert across the street.

Hard Rock was next. I had never been to the hotel and it did not disappoint. There was tons to look at. Even though I'm not a huge music junkie like some of my brothers are, there are endless cases around the lobby and casino full of musician stuff. Clothes, guitars, instruments, etc. We had lots of time before the Guns n Roses concert was starting at 9p. Lots. We went in a little after knowing Axl would be late (apparently he does that).

I recognized the opening band right away. I had heard of them through a radio show I listen to out of LA, who had helped to discover them years ago.They were good and played for a while. Though by the time GnR came on it was was about 11p. Barely having a day to adjust to the time, it felt like the 2a time that is was on the East Coast. We also were in the General Admission area where there were no seats. Standing all that tim
e to be up close to prove to be worth it as we were really close to the stage. But our bodies were fading fast after all that standing around. We made it until 1a (4a EST!). They were still playing and we were reluctant to leave but we just couldn't hang. We had heard most of the songs we knew (missed a couple but whaddyagonnado?!). All the guys were sooo good. It was a really cool experience.

On the way out I recognized the lead band guy from the first group, Delta Rose. I went up to him to tell him how I had heard of them. He was super nice and was flattered to know they had been heard of. It was funny it was literally three guys just standing around. They had just opened for Guns! Well, in case they make it big someday, maybe they will remember me.

The concert venue, The Joint, was a really nice place. Seems like they have a lot of big names. I would definitely go there again. But probably in seats!

Thursday we enjoyed the laziness of the morning. I spent some pool time before we left Flamingo to move on (and up) to the Wynn. We went to another buffet at The Mirage. Not nearly as good but nothing beats the very first meal on an empty stomach after travel. We had our midday fill, wandered the strip a bit then checked into The Wynn.

We were fortunate to get the room here for free. Leo won it in a sweepstakes. Yes really. I never thought I would encourage him to continue to play those things but after this win and the Wynn, he has my blessing.

It's one of the more upscale places on the strip and it shows in every detail. From the lobby ("would you like some water, ma'am?") to the bathroom (I don't know why you would want a scale on vacation but they had one in there anyway!) it was magnificent.

Part of the VIP status (back at the Flamingo) was tickets on the giant wheel. We considered going on but were deciding on that or going into the Eiffel Tower at Paris. Free sound
ed good so our decision was made. We asked around and figured out the best time to go: sunset. We checked out the VIP lounge at Paris, walked back to Flamingo and got on right at the perfect time.

The ride all the way around the 550 foot high wheel is about 35 minutes. We saw the sun setting behind the mountains, making the ridges to the East bright orange. By the time we were done, the twinkling lights of the strip started to sputter to life. The only thing more perfect would have been our own pod (thou
gh had we insisted we could have since there was hardly a crowd at this point) and a longer ride. Keep me there at the top for a while and I would have been happy. We were lucky we got this complimentary but it's a trip worth paying for.

We slowly made our way through the Linq from here, stopping for a slice of pizza and a visit into a couple
shops. My fave - the Polaroid Fotobar. This is one of the coolest places I have seen. For $1 you can print out a picture from FB, your phone, Instagram, etc,. onto a hard stock with a white "polaroid" border. They had a bank of computer to sit and play and a great range of frames and other items. We got mom and Ed a picture that she had sent us from the week to thank them for taking such good care of the boys. I could have sat there all night and played. It gave me some great ideas for the future. There was a museum upstairs as well but it was closed at the time. Next visit.

We slept well in that Wynn hotel room. Three words. Best. Pillows. Ever. If anyone is ever in doubt and wants to spoil me, I would like one of those pillows please. They were amazing!

Friday morning we were up and out at we had to get downtown by 10a. The Neon Museum, or Boneyard, has been on my list of VTTD (Vegas Things to do) for years and I convinced Leo to go. The tour guide spoke for an hour on the history of Vegas by way of the old signs kept there; The history of neon, the hotels and casinos and the mobsters behind them. I wish I could remember all she said. I was definitely more focused on getting some great shots of the signs there. The only downside was the hot hot sun. But for an hour, and being prepared for it, it was worth it.

Instead of going to Fremont Street at we discussed we cabbed it back to the Wynn area. The Fashion Mall is across the street and we went there for lunch, and eventually dinner later on. I had the best Mahi Mahi tacos ever (El Segundo Sol). We explored the pool area for a few hours that afternoon - staying out of the sun on purpose. Like the rest it's a luxurious area with a long canal-like shape where you can swim from one end to the other, under walkways. The edges of the place were dotted in fancy cabanas - ones with ceiling fans, TV's, couches and whatever else you can put in there that would spoil you. A mini personal lounge for the very well-off I imagine.

We were pretty much wiped out after that. All the sun and walking throughout the week wore us out. We enjoyed the last evening at the Wynn, the view of those mountains especially and went to bed pretty early.

Our flight out was on-time. I finished the book I started and I really couldn't wait to squeeze my boys. Nathan was so excited when they saw us that we shouted from the window and stuck out the container of rice crispy treats they had made for us. "Look what we made for you!"

The reports on Nathan and Benny were good as always. Good eaters and sleepers. They can use some help in the sharing department. But overall a pleasure. I'm glad to know we can likely leave them anytime and have no problems since they are such good boys. Though the break was nice I don't know if I would leave them anytime soon. Next time, I would love to take them on our next adventure into the world. There's so much I want to show them.

Stepping back and switching gears

Here we are in Mid-May but it may as well be July (kinda). It's been warm enough to enjoy the opening of the pool in our neighborhood. I was thinking the pool would be frigid and that Benny would hate the water (cold or not) but it turned out neither was the case. We enjoyed a couple hours in the sun and the comfortable water. Nathan still forgets her can't quite swim on his own yet but he's brushing up on his skills from last year and since he has no fear, he will readjust and learn quickly. Benny was not fun to take last year since he would mostly just scream in terror but this year he has screamed in delight as long as he "old on mommy" (holds on to mommy). If you see me with a starfish-shaped outline on my body at the summers' end it's because Benny attached himself to me and didn't get go. He is still my #1 snuggler in and out of the pool. I will squeeze and snuggle back as long as I possibly can.

Currently, Benny is upstairs where he often just wanders on his own to go play with trains for long periods of time by himself (Nathan never did this!). He is now calling down to Nathan, who is hiding under a pile of stuffed animals hanging out by himself. If only I could bottle up this time of contentment and quiet! It's not as common as I would like. But it is progress. Anyway, the way Benny looks for his big brother is priceless. I'm not sure who will have the harder transition come July when Nathan is the big boy at Kindergarten and Benny has more hours in the day without him.

Yes, Nathan is less than a week away from not being a preschooler any longer. Woah. As I probably stated, it's all good. He needs to attention and stimulation. But when I really look at him and think "not a preschooler anymore" I can't believe how old he is and how much he has grown. He is often pointing to signs and words now and saying."this says..." and then tells me what it says. I am always surprised and say. "I didn't know you could read!" He says, "I can't. It was just a lucky guess." Lucky guess, memorization or actual putting together of letters and sounds, he is progressing well and I don't worry about Kindergarten quite too much. He's much smarter than I think.

Benny too actually. It's easy to forget to teach the younger one all the basics since you're so busy with so much stuff. But apparently they learn it all anyway. We realized that Benny can count to 10 and is piecing together the alphabet. That probably sounds so dumb that a) I wasn't actively teaching him and b) I didn't know he knew so much. But for a while I was so worried about him not speaking enough that teaching him the basics went to the wayside. He's a good listener though and hopefully will learn the good (as well as the bad unfortunately) from his smart big bro.

This week the boys and I attended our last MOPS meeting. It was bittersweet of course since this particular group gave me so much in the way of friends, growth, and daily mommy support. But, as Hospitality Coordinator, it was quite a handful. I have some paperwork and guidelines to pass along but other than that, it is out of my hands now. Thinking back to the first few times we went, Nathan was such a mess when I would drop him off. I cried because it was so hard to watch him be so upset! Fast forward four years, Nathan makes friends all the time (not just MOPS but everywhere and maybe this experience helped him with that, same as it did for me) and Benny finally adjusted to new people as well which will help him in preschool next year. They really loved him in his room this year. Even though he would start out crying, the teachers in the room were tearful when they said goodbye to Benny the other day, saying they enjoyed extra last snuggles and saying I love you. To hear other people say that about your kids is heart melting.

 Shedding that responsibility has been good for me. I also had to change some other things around as I wasn't feeling like myself for a few weeks and had to just step back and regroup. Sleep has been an issue and getting worse by the day. It started a while back where I would have trouble in places other than my own bed, then grew into an ugly monster that keep me up in my own house. I'm not completely sure what started it all but what didn't help is my little boys waking in the night, specifically Nathan coming into our room to tell me he couldn't sleep, "tuck me in" or just having to pee but not just going on his own. You can be a kind, patient mama for only so many nights. I did eventually flip out a time or two and I think he's beginning to see he really has to stop doing it. Emergencies and sickness are one thing. Waking me to tell me you can't sleep is so not ok. I'm feeling better now that I'm catching up but missing out on hours of precious rest really threw me for a while. I'm hoping not to revisit that crazy town again anytime soon.

I can feel the change in the air now, for the better, moving forward. Nathan has a couple things happening in the next week with the end of school, I am filling my calendar with sharing Nature's Pearl when I can and making plans for fun things to do in June with the kids before school starts for Nathan. Leo and I will be off to Vegas in less than two weeks where we will stay at the Flamingo and the Wynn for 5 days of fun in the sun. I can't wait to sit by a pool in peace and wander the strip with Leo. We have gotten some date nights in the past several months but it's never enough. And at home of course finishing a conversation above the sound of the motorized three wheeler and fighting over the lego "guys"....well, it's just not worth the yelling. Also, taking a break from the boys will be great. While they were playing nicely while I was sitting here catching up on the blog, I just heard Leo telling Nathan not to bring something large and heavy down the stairs by himself. Uh oh.

Early Spring Roundup

The snow finally stopped. The threat of snow has popped up in the last week or so, but we will have a warm no-jacket day and then BAM another cold day will slap us in the face. We had a lot of school closures and delays. It only kind of affected us, in terms of school. But when it came to making plans, having appointments, etc., it messed up our weeks.

In between the crazy weather, there were quite a few things going on. Namely me not being here. I happened to have an opportunity to go to Charleston, SC for a Nature's Pearl training in February. I had to get myself there and the rest was pretty much taken care of. I'm happy to say I know people who have a "vacation house" who let us use it for business purposes. So my friend Gillian and I spent a couple nights there. She lead some great training, the owners of the house spoiled us with great food, and we were able to get out and enjoy some Charleston night life. It was a really relaxing weekend for me. The first of many eye openers as well.

A few weeks later, I was on the road again. Mom and I drove to Myrtle Beach for the International Convention for NP. The hotel was beautiful, on the beach, pools, hammocks, palm trees. Just the setting was amazing. The training and the company of fellow NP business owners was top notch as well. I realized what a big deal this is; the cancer research attached to our products, the care involved in creating them to be the best, and the idea that there are so many people that want and need them. Light bulbs! The weekend didn't end well, unfortunately. I haven't been sleeping well away from home and Sunday morning it caught up to me. I tried to sleep in the back of the car while mom drove but that resulted in my regular nausea from being in the car. It was the longest car ride of my life. But we made it home in one piece. What I gained from the weekend made it worth it.

About the end of February, I met with a personal trainer for an assessment. Actually having a personal trainer has never really been on my to-do. It's expensive and, frankly, scary. But the guy seemed to have a pretty good feeling about what he could do for me in a relatively short time, and offered a really good price. So, I'm doing it. The first session was grueling. But every session since has been...fun?! I look forward to sweating it out and feeling the burn afterwards. The reward of doing something at your highest capacity, knowing you absolutely did the best you could possibly do, is a great feeling that I wish everyone could experience at least once.

The boys are growing and growing. We went to Amy and Dan's yesterday for Natalie's 2nd Birthday Party and everyone kept saying how huge my kids are. You don't see it when you're with them everyday. But they are. They are big, growing boys.

Nathan turned 5 last weekend. He asked for a surprise party a couple times, and so, we made it happen. Gigi and Grandpa took the boys overnight and all day then came when everyone else was at the house. Nathan was shocked and confused, had a momentary look of tears, then regrouped quickly and lead his friends upstairs to play. He rallied fast. I don't even know if he fully understood it. But everyone got a kick out of his request anyway. What 5 year old asks for such things?!

And for 5, he knows it all of course. At least he acts like it. He pushes back at every turn along the way - which I guess isn't really new. But he becomes more head strong and adamant that he's right. Ugh. The days are long!

And Benny....he's definitely 2! He has his whinny spells where he won't get what he wants and then cries for at least 10 minutes, if not more. The other day, Leo just put him in his room. He stopped out of confusion, then started up again, opened up his door on his own, then came out to cry at us again. But not for long. That may be the best option. Maybe in a random room or closet each time to shake him out of his silliness.

The two of them are playing so nicely these days. This weekend it is rainy but we went out in the morning anyway to do a few things in the garage. While Leo and I transplanted some seedlings we started this winter and had sitting in our tub (!), the boys were crouched over a mud pit, digging, in their PJ's and boots, in the rain. I have better vibes going into the warm season. I can see the two of them playing together outside and me being able to do a little yard work finally. Last year their ages were too different. But now they are slowly catching up and enjoying each other. I might actually be more sad about Nathan being in Kindergarten than I thought since they can actually play now.

This week is Spring Break for Nathan so we will be out and about in the world doing stuff. Leo and I are going to a hockey game on Saturday, possibly a concert on Sunday and then our anniversary is Monday. The Garcia's insisted on taking the kids that night so we can celebrate. But with our busy weekend I don't know we'll need it!

Off to enjoy this sleep Sunday. Nathan is begging to play Mario Galaxy 2. He's officially a real kid now - game obsessed!

Snowmageddon (Yeah, I know. Not original. Whatev.)

This morning felt so different from other mornings. With a fresh thick quilt of snow outside, there is a certain kind of quiet you can feel, even from inside the house.

A couple weeks ago, we got our first accumulating snow. We may have had a dusting prior but this was the first for the winter that we could play in. Two or so inches were expected on a Tue
sday and so got all ramped up and excited.

Let me stop here and explain something about snow in NC. It's a really big deal! I mean, I always hears it was but now I know. I feel like snow is something to talk about anyway, even in NY. But when it happens so infrequently, it's a really really big deal. So it's talked up all over the place. For days!

So we were already excited about snow on Sunday and Monday. We had even done all the silly bread and milk errands I used to tease about. (Oh please. How can you not have the necessities already and why bread and milk? Why do you need these to survive? Eggs. Butter. Wine. Yes. Well now I have kids and I get it. It's reminiscent of my days in LA when they were always waiting for "the big one". The big one here would be an ice storm though, not an earthquake. And no amount of milk and eggs could save you from that.) So Monday we watched the weather. And waited. No flakes. The schools watched and waited. No flakes. The weather channel, the news stations....no flakes. Aw heck, let's just close school tomorrow anyway. What?!

Yeah, so Tuesday was closed and no flakes. Until about 7p that night! Grrr...A full day of plans gone to waste.

The snow finally fell through the night and on Wednesday had a nice little two inches to play in. Good old Cutright was busy with sledders when we got there the next morning, lots of families, extra sleds. This is why we love our neighborhood!

Thursday, the snow lingered. Friday it was pretty much gone. Saturday it was a distant memory. But still, schools were closed through the week. And when you go to year-round school, you have to make up your days  - on the WEEKEND! Then, even the Saturday make up sessions were closed!

I am still confused about all the closures. They jumped the gun for sure. Then again, if you don't, you have an Atlanta situation on your hands. People got stuck on the roads for hours, abandoning their cars and walking home. Ha! How could this happen?!

Then came Winter Storm Pax. Yeah, this one had a name. Exactly two weeks later, we were told to expect snow. Like the boy who cried wolf, I don't think anyone expected it to come. The schools were open on Tuesday, some even for a bit on Wednesday. Then it actually started. Around 12:30 it started to fall hard and I was completely taken back to NY winter days. The light, frantic flurry of snow in all directions. Piling up in a hurry, hiding the grass in a few hours. It was awesome!

But we were snuggly and warm in our house (with a lot of milk and bread), and out there were so many husbands who got stuck. Within a very short time, the roads got bad (no plows en force here, remember). Suddenly, we were looking a lot like Atlanta. D'oh! I wondered how this could happen again. The traffic maps showed all roadways in red. At least one friend did say via FB, "walking home is punishment enough so I don't have to say I told you so." People finally arrived home after hours on the roads, some had to stay overnight in various odd places.

But the snow itself? Awesome! About 5" or so. Deep and fluffy and wonderful. Leo and I are in heaven when it snows like this. We got the kids all dressed up to go out in it after dinner. They cried their eyes out. Southern Sissies. Nathan is very head strong these days and continues to do what he wants most of the time. When he will end up suffering and possibly learning something from the experience, I'll let him. For some reason, he is not appreciating the magic of layers when you go out to play. And Benny....gloves, mittens? No ma'am. I think I will just stick my hands in the snow then cry bloody murder over how cold they are for the next 30 minutes!

Despite that 15 minute adventure, we did end up going out again. We went up to neighbor Kate's house of course. If the party isn't here, it's there. We hung out for a little while before stomping through our own tracks down the hill back home to bed.

Today, we hope to get some sledding in. Or as Leo put it, Woodlawn Double Luge Competition. It may be possible - we were supposed to be hit with ice too. Our fluffy snow layers have been weighted down with it overnight and icicles hang from the outdoor furniture. We all all home, have power, water and lots of milk and bread, so I'm prepared for whatever this fun snow day brings.

Oh yeah, and this happened . . . .

Catching up with 2014

January gone and I've written nothing. How can I when there is always so much going on? Even as I sit down to write this I'm interrupted by a little person begging for food as if dinner wasn't an hour ago . . .

Where was I? Oh yeah, picking up where I left off. This is a pretty good representation of how things go most days.

Christmas was a lot of fun. Although we missed the family in NY, we were really glad to have stayed home. The traffic reports were awful on the roads and staying put allowed us a lot of time to just be together without running around the whole time, as NY visits tend to be. It felt like three long weeks of relaxing and being together. We had Tim and Jen around for a visit, as well as G'pa Truck. A few days of a lull then Matt and Joey were here. It was nice to have the both of them around for a couple nights, including new years. We planned on staying in but after some guitar hero and a dance party to start us off we went to neighbor Kate's for the rest of the night. The kids made it until 10:30p! Matt & Joe hung out there. I was opened one eye for half a second at midnight. Otherwise I was done! Joey stayed for a week and submersed himself into our craziness. We don't get to spend that time together so to have so much was a treat. To see all the brothers within a short period was definitely MY Christmas gift!

After the break we were ready to dive into work and school (well, I was!). We've been going non-stop since. I went away for another Nature's Pearl weekend in Advance, NC and have been sharing it with so many people. I love having this thing that is growing. That is fun and helpful and has so much potential. There are another few weekends of training coming in the next few months.

Nathan is registered for Kindergarten. He will start in July, but we aren't sure when exactly yet. They have tracks down here for the year round schools. It's a weird option but people say they really love it and our base school is the best around so we'll take it. It will be weird to have Nathan in school from 8a - 3p. But I think he will enjoy it when we get into the groove of it. Benny will begin Preschool late August for two days a week. I still can't imagine my little buddy going so young. But it will help him with his talking and socializing, and me with my sanity!

Benny has been quite the little talked though. He suddenly blossomed and has barely shut up since! We will go about our day, all of us talking about whatever, and Benny will copy every word. More like the syllables and some sounds, always leaving off the first consonant. So poop and soup sound the same. You can imagine how this can be confusing. He communicates better but there is often lots of guessing going on still. But we work with him to get it right. He's making progress.

Also, Nathan and Benny play together a lot. Benny goes where Nathan goes. If Nathan wants to do the bouncy house, Benny wants to do the "ouncy ouse." If Nathan jumps across the couch cushions, Benny follows. If it's playtime under the blankets in the bedroom, book reading, flash lights, music, etc - Benny wants in too. Nathan even seems to miss him during nap time. I can't imagine how it will be when school starts. They will have so much less time together. That actually makes me sad. I'm often thinking about how nice it will be for me to have a break or for each of them to have something new. But when it comes to their relationship with each other . . . I wonder if they will be closer because they will miss each other, or further apart because they will be into different things.

Leo is the same, working away upstairs. He's had some good luck playing around in the stock market. I don't understand it all. But he seems to have fun following it and making some extra money here and there. He and I recently went to the movies and then another night out for dinner and a stop at a beer/wine store where they have weekly tastings. We swap babysitting with friends, each of us getting one date night a month. Sometimes, we don't know what to do with our night out- we see each other so often as it is! But it's good to force us to do it, to spend time kid-free.

Benny turned two this past week. TWO! He such a happy, talkative, loving little guy. He is still big into snuggles and makes his way into our bed every so often. I don't sleep much those nights, but I lay there thinking about how I'm happy to have his warm little body next to me. We went to Red Robin for dinner to celebrate, Gigi and Grandpa bringing cake pops for the occasion. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and we decided to do a joint Super Bowl/ Benny's Birthday party. We said we would keep it small. Apparently we don't know how to do that. We are expecting somewhere close to 40 people. We cleared the playroom for playing and bouncing and we will have enough food for all. I'm looking forward to being surrounded by friends and their families. We are so lucky to have such a big group of close friends we simply couldn't celebrate without.

Twas a few days before Christmas

Just a few days until Christmas. But I feel like I have been in the midst of it for a while. Leo, on the other hand, hasn't had that feeling. But I have been submersed in decorating, shopping, wrapping, (and partying!) for a while. I feel lucky I get to enjoy it so thoroughly. Or rather glad that I have let myself enjoy it so much. It's easy to get lost in doing without stopping to look around at what and why. 

Today is a beautiful day in NC. We are in Greensboro at a children's museum I heard great things about. It is a whole world made for little ones and the boys have enjoyed it. A mini hospital, post office, market, camp site, news station and even a real life truck, plane, race car, police car and firetruck. This place has it all. We stopped for lunch and sat outside in the 70 degree sun. Heaven. Benny couldn't wait to fall asleep so Nathan and Leo are back inside for round two. Quiet time for mommy to blog in the car. Technology is simply amazing isn't it?

This past week I took Benny to get assessed since he hasn't been talking much. They tested him in several areas and he scored well above average in every area except for expressive language. This isn't news of course but it's nice to know he's ok with every other area. Benny didn't say anything the whole time we were there of course. Until we left. When he was clearly ready to leave he said "bye!". He had only said bye a time or two so to hear him say it loud and clear like that made me laugh and shake me head at the same time. He hears everything we talk about so maybe he just didn't want to be sent to a speach therapist! Anyway, he's been saying hi and bye and tons of other words more and more. He had been showing progress in only the last few weeks. It's nice to hear his little voice say mommy and up and even no (which will get old but I'll take it right now!). 

Nathan has the next few weeks off school. They have a little thing they put on for the parents, singing songs for us, and each class has a different part. Some are angels, some are animals, some are wise men. Nathan got to be Joseph! The teachers were all very excited. Nathan barely mentioned it to me. I understood why later when I saw him on the stage. He didn't have to say a thing, just sit next to Mary and Baby Jesus in an outfit he didn't like. Still, it was cute. And he did a good job for a kid who rarely sits still.

The last few weeks have been so hectic. Like I said, I have been deep into holiday prep. But there have been so many other things. A couple weeks ago the family came with me to the Natures Pearl plant. They got to meet some of the people I have met in the last year and see the machines where they process all those wonderful grapes! We also had Holiday dinner with friends, MOPS events, Leo's work dinner, an NP event at home, and on and on. So to be on the other side, enjoying the season is lovely.

I have taken this last week and tackled a project I didn't even know was in me (I guess this isn't strange. When an idea strikes I usually attack it full force). I wanted to redo my office so I went for it. Rearranging, buying a new bookcase here and there. It feels so nice in there now. Peaceful and open. I don't want to think about where to put stuff. There is simply a place for it all now. 

Next up is visitor time. Uncle Matt hung out with us yesterday then took off early for NY. Today G'pa Truck drove down and he will be over with Logan and Patrick tomorrow. Tim and Jen are driving down tomorrow and I expect to see them a bunch this week. Christmas Eve we will be with my side, and we will fit in our us usual secret Santa exchange via Skype. Christmas Day we will all be together, both sides of our family. Then next week when Matt comes back he will be bringing Joey back too. We look forward to having him for a week or so. Nathan will love having a Lego building partner! 

I am personally excited to see those little faces on Christmas Day. Obviously Nathan "gets it". Almost too much at least in terms of the gimmes. It's tough to teach a kid what it's all about when all it seems to be about is gifts. Benny though has no idea. And really, before you can explain it, it really is all about spoiling them with gifts. It will be fun to see his face for the first time. In the coming years though, I do hope to make it more about sharing and giving. For now they can enjoy the toys.

Pajama Holiday

We are coming off a long holiday weekend and it's been one of the best. I often feel like everyday slides right into another. But the last four or five have been especially . . . special!

Wednesday I feel like we officially unplugged from the world and hung around the house. Well, Daddy was still working. But we played. Day one of Pajama Jam. We had a dance party in the morning and the boys were generally good while I was busy cleaning and cooking on preparation for Thanksgiving. When mommy and daddy are busy, the two usually find things to do. Playing upstairs, in the bedrooms, in laundry baskets, with swords, legos, trains . . . they are getting more awesome as the weeks pass as far as playing together and keeping busy. (It's super cute when Nathan calls, "Come on Ben.")

The house tidied up and most of my dishes made, Thursday was a breeze. Not only because of the prep though. Mom and Ed always do a wonderful job of bringing the turkey and making sure the bird and all the trimmings are perfect. This year was no exception. The rest of the family was around as well. Nathan and Benny were running around with Logan and Patrick. They keep each other entertained and it's fun that Patrick can (kinda) join in too.

Friday gave way to another Pajama Day. I've decided this is my favorite day of the year. Not because of Black Friday (although I did my fair share of cyber shopping all weekend). But because Thanksgiving is over and the next holiday can be prepared for next. I do love my autumn decorations (they looked fabulous on the new shelf in the living room!). But having the tree out is a treat. We switched seasons in a few hours and by the time Nonni, Poppi and the boys came back for another afternoon visit, we were Christma-fied! We played and enjoyed another lazy afternoon. I let myself relax too. This is the difference. Having time to get it all done including ME time. I have to allow for it. And I did.

Saturday we had a nice breakfast and actually left the house for a few hours of errand running together, as well as a quick visit to a nearby playground. This didn't last long. The chill has set in for good I think.

Sunday, another pajama day. We slept in (yes, all of us! This was a trend all weekend that will be hard to break tomorrow) and had a slow morning. I finished my book for book club and managed to finish laundry. We put up some lights outside, blew some leaves out back. All the little things the season calls for. Now, at 6ish, I feel like it's nine! But in a good way. We did so much. The best part was just hanging around, not having to be anywhere. Just together. We have a couple busy weekends and weekends ahead. This was a nice calm before the storm.